If That's Not Healthy, Nothing Is

One of the biggest shocks I experienced in my adult life, was the day I realized it wasn't my wife's job to make me happy, or to convince me everything will be okay, or to make me feel good about myself.

It caught me totally off guard and it was pretty tough for me to deal with.

If this is the first time you've heard this, or this idea comes as a shock to you, send me an email, I will talk you through the grieving process. Trust me, I feel your pain.

The bad news is, this is true for all of us. There is no person that carries the responsibility for our happiness and feelings of contentment.

The good news is, that doesn't mean we are alone in our pursuit of peace and joy.

The One who is meant to help us find peace in who we are, and to find joy in difficult seasons, is Jesus.

No one else can do that for us, but Him.

Unfortunately many of us search for relationships to fix these God-sized problems, and we find ourselves constantly disappointed. Or we put the pressure and weight of these issues on people who care about us, and again we find ourselves disappointed, and they find themselves overwhelmed.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

You ever feel weary or burdened? Yeah, me too.

Could you use some rest for your soul? I'm right there with you.

Jesus invites us to come to Him, to learn from Him, and in return He offers to teach us, to give us a lighter load, and rest.

So if you've been struggling in your relationships, or struggling with feelings of weight and weariness; come to Jesus. Focus on your relationship with Him, listen to what He says about you. Get that relationship close, and in good shape.

Truth is, if your relationship with Jesus isn't healthy, none of your others will be either.

The Value of Being Wrong

Like most people, I hate being wrong. I especially hate being wrong when I was almost certain I was right, or when it comes out of nowhere.

Today I had a really great conversation with a friend. It started out as just a normal conversation. We talked about life, told stories, shared experiences; and both of us allowed each other to ask deeper questions, and to speak to some pretty sensitive issues.

It was half scary, and half really enjoyable.

Through our conversation my friend began to see a pattern in some of my story that shined light on some areas that I had not seen before.

He chose to do something that was pretty daring.

Rather than letting it go, or avoiding a potentially uncomfortable conversation, he pointed it out to me. Not in a mean or judgmental way, he shared it carefully and in a kind manner.

I would love to tell you, when he presented it, I embraced it with a smile, and thanked him for his honesty. Instead, I met it with a little bit of defensiveness, and hesitancy.

I would like a little bit of credit that I did eventually come around though...

I love this passage Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying my friend "wounded" me. I am saying he had a conversation that wasn't flowery or complimentary, and I guess if there was any wounds, it was to my ego.

The part I want you to see is, this conversation was an example of kindness and love.

I want to encourage you, be in relationship with people who care enough about you to tell you the truth. Don't just surround yourself with people that only say what makes you feel good.

In the end, these types of honest conversations are what help us to grow, and move us forward.

It may sting, but it is so worth it!

Different But Still Really Awesome

Today, I had the privilege of subbing in the afternoon for the Middle School History class at ECS. ECS is a private school that is an extension of our church.

I had lunch with all the Middle Schoolers, and then sat with the students afterward in their class as they worked on their projects.

I don't remember a lot about Middle School, but what I do remember is how insecure I was, and how terrified I was of someone not liking me, or pointing out something about me that I didn't like.

As I see these students I see a wide variety of personalities, temperaments, and talents. They are so different, but they are all so awesome.

The kids who keep trying to talk to me about anything other than class work are pretty hilarious and will make tremendous business leaders. The students who are coming up with impossibly complex ideas for their group project will be great inventors and creative minds. The ones who are constantly asking the class to quiet down, and reminding the students in their group to stay on topic, are showing strong signs of leadership. The ones who are taking the assignment very seriously no doubt have bright scholastic futures in front of them.

Since I am a Dad of kids this age, or close to it, it is easy for me to see the promise and bright future in these kids. I am far enough removed from this stage in life, that I can see the eventual product of the young men and women they will become.

I can't help but wonder if this is how God sees all of us. We can get so focused on our imperfections and differences today that we don't see the creation we are becoming, or the beauty of the journey we are on now. We are keenly aware of our weaknesses, and the weaknesses of those around us.

If we could just step back far enough to see the process we are in, and the growth we are experiencing we might get a glimpse into how God sees us. Not as perfect, or complete, but as awesome, and in process!