Blurry Vision

Self awareness is for the birds. 

I remember sitting on a couch in my friend's living room. We were having deep philosophical conversations about life and all the worlds problems. We jumped from topic to topic including religion, politics, and life in general. 

Finally we came to the topic of blind spots in our life. We talked about people who were unaware of the areas in their life they needed to grow in. 

I remember thinking to myself, I am glad I don't have any blind spots. Then out of my insecurity, I asked my friend, "do you think there are any blind spots in my life?" 

I was unhappy with his answer. In fact, I was unhappy he had an answer.

He said the statement we all hate to hear, "you really want me to answer that?" Unfortunately, there is only one appropriate answer to that question, and I am convinced that no one answers it honestly. "Yeah, of course I want to know."

What he said next shocked me, and broke open something in my mind and heart. He lovingly let me know that I have a tendency to dismiss people once I determine the relationship is not worth the work. 

I have always considered myself to be a mostly kind person. I know some of my thoughts are a little less than cordial, and I admit that from time to time I have made a decision to separate myself from someone. Yet I thought to myself, surely no one had noticed. Unfortunately, they had noticed.

As much as it hurt to hear this, it was really a great thing to know. I had a blind spot that others were picking up on. I was hurting people, and I didn't know it. 

It made me face the reality that, I am not completely self aware.

That may not sound like life-changing information. Yet how many of us walk around assuming that all of our faults are hidden? We think our unkind thoughts are not coming across in our tone, or in our actions. 

1 Corinthians 1:13a says "Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly."

Like I said at the beginning, self awareness is for the birds. It isn't fun to accept the fact that we have blind spots, or that we show our weakness and insecurity more than we would like to. 

There is beauty found in accepting this fact. If we realize we have faults and weaknesses, we are free to submit these to God, and ask for His help to change them. 

So join me in accepting our imperfection, then let's approach God and ask for His help to change.  

Darkness and Light

It is easy to become distracted by our current circumstance or plight. We can allow our surroundings to become what is happening to us. Instead we should see that in each situation we have the power to make a difference. 

We are light, called to shine in the midst of darkness.

I need to pause real quick here... 

Sometimes, God will give us a chance to live out a principle that He is teaching us, other times God will give us a chance to live out that principle while we are writing about it, in a blog. 

This morning, as I was sitting down and writing this blog, a local man walked into our church. He was quite drunk and pretty clearly agitated. 

Long story short, he got violent and attacked me. I tried talking to him, and even started to walk him out of the church so he could go home and sleep it off. Unfortunately it didn't work out that way. Eventually the police had to be called, and he was taken away. 

I share this because, the truth of living as light in darkness isn't clean and simple. Sometimes the hurt and difficulty of this world will come crashing violently into our face. 

I came in to work today prepared. Prepared to write a message, prepared to counsel with people who had set their appointments, and prepared to work on the plans and future of our church. 

I was not prepared for this man. 

Yet I found that as his brokenness, anger, and hurt showed through, he needed me, and needed Jesus, just like anyone else.

We don't get to choose the circumstances we walk through, but we do get to choose how we respond to them.

Let me encourage you, let your light shine in all circumstances. 

When it feels like this world is coming at you quicker than you can respond, choose to be light. 

When circumstances seem to be completely unfair and there seems to be no way out, choose to be light. 

Even in the worst circumstances, God can show His love through you and me. 

When it is completely black with darkness, that is when light does its best work. 

Standing on the Shoulders of Giants

Just over a week ago, the beloved Pastor of my youth, Rev. John Egerdahl passed away.

Pastor John is the brightest mind I have ever encountered, but that is not what I think of, when I remember him. I sat under him for countless sermons on countless Sundays, and learned many biblical concepts.

Yet the moments I remember most fondly, are the moments we sat in his office at the church, or the office at his house.

John, the greatest giant of the faith I have ever known, poured personally into my life. He spoke to me about my role as a man, my role as a father and husband, and my role as a Pastor. Our encounters usually looked like me sitting down, with paper and pencil, and him speaking about whatever he felt led to share with me that day.

I would ask questions as he quickly listed off books and authors and Greek and Hebrew words to research. He would list Bible passages so quickly, I would rarely be able to write down all of what he said.

I still have those lists, and many of the books I have bought and read are at his recommendation.

But that is not the part of the conversation I remember most fondly.

In our conversations, there were always moments where as John was speaking, he would begin to become overwhelmed with something God had done in his life, or a truth from God's Word would come flooding over him. Pastor John, my hero, would begin to cry.

Even in our most recent visits where his health was failing, his love for God, his love for God's Word, and his love for me had not faded.

I have struggled this last week in continuing on with my daily tasks, because I have so frequently been fondly remembering these moments.

This is what I believe God has been showing me in this time. I pray it speaks to you, as it has spoken to me.

Don't ever lose your hunger for God's Word.

Don't ever allow knowledge of God's Word, to replace your love for God and His people.

Always find time for people, and invest in them.

Freely share with others, what you have learned, and what has been shared with you.

Don't be afraid to allow others to see on the outside, what God is doing on the inside.

Take time, to stop and cry.

My life will forever be changed, because Pastor John was in it. I like to believe that if you look closely, you can see bits and pieces of him in me. It means the world to me, that he expressed his love for me, and his pride in me. He encouraged me by saying he saw that I was growing, and would continue to grow into a great Pastor.

I guess this is the heart of what I want to share. God has likely placed people by each of us that we could learn so much from. Don't be afraid to ask for time to sit with them. Bring your paper and pen, then listen and write.

Each of us are capable of doing great things; but if we humble ourselves and submit to the wisdom of those around us, we can gain so much more. In short, we can do even greater things while standing on the shoulders of giants.

I love you Pastor John, thank you for pouring into my life. You were indeed a giant of the faith.