Love Through Adversity

Have you ever found yourself standing there in a state of shock because of a hurt you have endured in a relationship?

Maybe your spouse said or did something that has broken you. Perhaps your closest friend has deeply betrayed your trust. Maybe a mentor or leader in your life, has left you feeling rejected.

It's a terrible feeling.

Just like physical trauma, emotional and relational trauma can send us into a time of shock. We don't even know how to begin in our process of recovery. Questions of whether or not there will be restoration are interrupted by strong feelings of anger, and deep pains of sorrow.

Some people experience pain like this, and years later they are no more free than they were the day the hurt occurred.

Often times, it seems easier to stay hurt, than it is to work through it.

Many of us have stories of broken relationships that we walked away from years ago. People that we had deep meaningful relationships with, are now little more than a distant memory to us.

There may be times where it is necessary, or even beneficial for two people to part ways. Yet, I think many broken relationships do not need to stay broken.

Colossians 3:13 says "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

I know it seems like such a stretch, or an oversimplified outlook on an incredibly complicated subject; but I share this passage, because it has helped me personally through some of those same type of incredibly complicated and difficult moments.

Look again at the phrase, "bear with each other" that is the part I want to take a moment to focus on.

Sometimes the hardest part of forgiving someone, is the choice of bearing a burden that was brought on by them and their choices.

It seems so unfair that we have to carry a difficult burden, that wasn't our fault. When the offense is against us, we essentially have to pay the price twice. Once due to the original hurt against us, and a second time as we help them bear the burden.

You may think this seems completely unfair.

You are right, it is unfair. But let me ask you, is a life of fairness really your goal?

This verse in Colossians may not offer a plan for fairness, but it speaks to something so much greater. Colossians speaks about a measure of love and a type of forgiveness that will help our relationships last a life time.

So let me encourage you with this thought. If you are struggling or even stuck with a hurt or offense, consider this idea. Even though it may be difficult, your broken relationship can be restored, and it is worth restoring. Even though it may seem impossible to see now, the person that has hurt you is worth your effort to bear this burden with them.

Finally, regardless of the offense, now is a good time to offer forgiveness. Just like Jesus forgives us for the mistakes we make, regardless of how terrible, we need to forgive each other.

I am praying for you in your journey.