Pain with Vision is Easy

Growing up, I had this really awful habit. Whenever I felt like saying something, I said it. It didn't matter if it was none of my business, if it was hurtful to others, if I was only partially sure, or if I only had a small piece of the information.

If I could think it, I would say it.

As you can imagine, that brought on some difficult moments for me, and especially for those around me.

Since then, I have learned that just because something crossed my mind, does not in any way suggest I must say it.

Unfortunately, that is hard to do.

Have you ever had one of those moments? When you are sure your insight needs to be shared. Your perspective just has to be thrown in there. People need to know what you know.

But not really.

This lesson has become especially important now that I am a Dad.

It is hard to hold back something I want to say, when my brain is convinced I must say it. Unless the comment is directed at my 10 year old daughter.

When holding back a thought, or a comment will benefit someone I love, keeping my mouth shut becomes really easy. When the momentary pain of self-discipline will benefit the vision I have for a bright future for one of my kids, the decision becomes simple.

When we have clear vision, the momentary pain we experience has a purpose. Pain with a purpose is easy to endure.

Whether your issue is like mine, and you struggle to keep your mouth shut, or another issue like pushing on when you don't feel like it; let me offer you this piece of advice.

Seek to find a clear vision for your life, your relationships, and your future. If you have a vision for where you are wanting to go, or how you want to grow, or see a loved one grow, you will find the momentary pain you experience, easier to endure.

Pain with vision is easy to live with.

The First Step of Learning

I often meet people that want to learn something new, or grow in an area of their life, but they are stuck at the starting line.

I think most people struggle to learn something new, or grow in a particular area of their life, because they get stuck on Step 1.

Imagine for a moment you are in a conversation and you are sharing your understanding of a subject, and someone responds to your statement by saying, "No, that isn't correct, this is what is true..." They clearly communicate that you are wrong, and then use facts and details to affirm that you were indeed incorrect in your thinking or understanding.

How does that make you feel? How do you respond in moments like this?

All of us respond to these kind of moments differently. Some of us, would see this person as rude. Some would tell them to keep their thoughts to themselves. Some would be mortified at sharing information that was incorrect. Some would say their day would be ruined after a moment like this.

The reality is, this kind of moment perfectly outlines why so many get stuck in their learning process.

They hate being wrong.

I know that being wrong is uncomfortable, but I want you to consider changing your mind about wrong.

I want you to learn to embrace wrong.

The first step in learning, is being wrong. More specifically, accepting that you "don't know", "can't", "haven't learned", "don't understand", or "don't get it".

Being wrong is okay. In fact, I want to encourage you to embrace the power of your wrongness.

Accepting that you are wrong is the groundwork for beginning your journey of learning.

In Proverbs 18:15 it says, "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." To learn, you first have to choose to listen to others, and embrace the reality that they may possess something you do not.

So here is my challenge to you this week. Be openly wrong. Be openly mistaken. Let someone know that you can't, or that you don't understand.

When you gain the courage to do so, and the moment of wrong comes... choose to smile.

Remember, in order to learn, you first have to understand and accept that you have room to learn.

So get out there and be wrong, make a mistake, confess your ignorance, and then get to learning.

Leading By Living

"Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less." If you have ever read a John Maxwell book, then you have no doubt seen that sentence before. If not, then consider this statement.

Leadership is the ability to influence others. Note, that influence isn't universally good, or universally bad. You can have strong influence in many people's lives, and that isn't necessarily a good thing. You can also have strong influence over a few people's lives and make a tremendous positive impact.

Every moment of your life, you are influencing someone. Whether it is your kids, spouse, co-workers, employees, or even friends, you are influencing them.

The real question is, how are you influencing them?

In 1 Timothy, Paul is talking to his protege Timothy, about leading others, more specifically leading others that are older than him.

Paul gives Timothy this advice in 1 Timothy 4:12 "Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity."

Paul basically tells Timothy, lead people. Lead by living in a way that honors God. Give them as little ammunition as possible to make an accusation against you.

So please allow me to ask you this question today, who are you leading? Who are you influencing with your life? Are they better off because of your influence?

Make the necessary adjustments to lead well, to influence well. Lead by living.

Patience Partnered with Love

You know that person that has a personality that just rubs you the wrong way? Maybe it's something insignificant like the sound of their voice, or whistle their nose makes. Maybe it's something a little more substantial like differing points of view on a topic you are passionate about, or they have said or done something that deeply affected you.

Whatever the reason, you find your patience stretched, and you are tempted to react in a way that normally you wouldn't.

We have all been there, and we have all reacted in a way we regret. So what are we supposed to do in these moments? It feels like we have done all we can, and we are ready to blow.

I have a suggestion for you to consider. You don't just have a patience problem, you also have a love problem.

1 Peter 4:8 says, "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."

Patience that is rooted in love, goes a lot further than patience that is rooted in self-discipline.

So the next time you find yourself feeling thin, and when you are tempted to react in a way you know you will regret later, consider this thought.

Ask God to increase your patience, but also ask that God would increase your love too.