To See and Trust

In my life I have had the opportunity to work with a lot of different people, from all backgrounds, differing gifts, and all ages. Many times I have worked with them, but there are several times I have worked "for" them, and even some of them have worked "for" me. 

In light of this, there are a couple powerful realities I have observed. One is, it is a gift when you see someone, and realize and believe they can accomplish something well. We have all likely experienced this, when we are talking about an opportunity, or project, and someone says, "You would be perfect for this!" or perhaps, you've said it to others, as the realities of the challenge or opportunity become clear, you see the person, their gifts, their experience and come to the conclusion, they were made for this moment, that there isn't a better person to take it on. These are really great moments. It feels good to hear it, and it feels great to say it. 

Another observation is, it is a powerful choice to trust someone. Trust is a tricky thing. I confess for me, it is difficult for me to trust people. Part of that is, there are times I have allowed past experiences to shape how I see people; so at times, I don't start from a place of neutral trust gaining, I start from a place of mistrust. I don't think I'm alone in that, but that is a topic for another day. However, because of this, I am even more aware of what a gift trust really is. To look at a person, and say, "I believe you can do this, and do this well, and I'm going to walk away with the expectation that good things will come from you doing this, even though I'm not watching to observe." Now obviously, I over exaggerate the statement to make a point, that point being, trust looks like something. 

Romans 14:9 says, So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

We are called to build each other up, and I have found, these two words, are some of the most powerful in this venture. We build by seeing, and we make peace by trusting.

So my simple encouragement to you, is for you to consider, who are you really seeing? And who are you really trusting? If the answer is no one, is that the answer God would desire you? Who might have God put in your path to challenge you in this way?

How Close Are You Really?

In our world of social media and the reality that nearly all of us has some form of public persona, we must make a decision of how we respond to this pressure.

It is easy to look at everyone else's vacations, meals, moments filled with laughter in all their posts, pictures, and shares; and come to two assumptions. One, our life is not as grand as everyone else's, and two, we should portray a picture of our life that seems far more appealing than it actually is.

This social reality is truly a new one. Although twenty years ago, we all some degree of public perception to consider, it was nothing compared to what is normative today. People have access to moment by moment updates of your life, and at least in some part, people expect you to have some form of up to date social media presence.

I will not spend time here making an argument for or against social media, I simply make this point, to emphasize a growing challenge we face, more specifically for this conversation, a growing challenge people in the church face.

The Bible is filled with passages that talk about the importance of living in deep and real community with others. One of my favorite passages about this is, Hebrews 10:24,25 "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

We are supposed to be intentional about how we can encourage each other. We need to practice ways to love others, and find opportunities to be good to others. We need to be careful and not forget to spend meaningful time together, even though its easy to do. Instead, we need to encourage each other often.

So the real question is, how are we balancing our efforts in presenting a public persona and the more important need to develop and build deeper relationships? Are we being intentional with how we encourage others? Are we building close relationships? Are we being creative and consistent in stirring our friends toward love and good deeds?

I encourage you to consider, how faithful are you being in these real relationships, how close are you really to anyone? Are you leaning hard into the perception people have of you, or are you stirring others, and allowing them to stir you?

I would encourage you, that if as you reflect, you aren't happy with what you see, consider taking some steps today to change it.

The Value of Us

Every healthy person I know would say there is value in having the influence of other people in their life. What people mean by this however, can be vastly different.

Many people see the value when it means having people that cheer them on. Others see the value in having people who are like-minded share ideas and thoughts amongst themselves. There are also people, although it is a smaller group, who enjoy friendships with people who see things differently than them, in order to see a different perspective.

These are all valuable and important relationships. Certainly none of them are bad, but there is another category I want to talk about.

Sometimes God will put people in our lives that we do not get along with, or we do not see eye to eye with. Our viewpoints on most topics are different and we even find conversations with them to be taxing or forced.

Even still, these relationships are extremely important. No, I am not a glutton for punishment, and no I don't believe meanness is a secret blessing. What I do believe is the we are meant to grow, and these types of relationships can be the ones that help us to grow the most.

James 1:2-4 says, Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

When someone is cheering me on, I want to believe it's true, so I am quick to accept their words as truth. When I see eye to eye on a topic with someone, I naturally see the strength in their argument, and will likely accept it as fact.  When I get along with someone it's easy to see their perspective, and even if it's different than mine, see value in it.

When I am talking with someone that I don't naturally get along with, that I don't see eye to eye with, that I'm not sure if they're for me...  this reveals some deeper truths about me. I know I'm supposed to love people even when they're different, do I? I know I'm supposed to serve others even when they aren't serving me, will I? I know I'm supposed see people as valuable even when I am unable to see the value plainly, can I?

There is incredible value to be found in community with others, whether in your church, your workplace, your community, or your home. Some of that value is found in the pressure and tension of these types of relationships.

My challenge to you is to consider how are you leaning into these types of connections. Do you write them off as odd, or misguided? Do you assume that you aren't meant to dialogue? Do you avoid them all together?

Maybe they won't ever be your closest friend or a trusted confidant, but maybe they will. One thing I know for sure, is they are not a mistake, and their presence in your life is not a coincidence. So what are you going to do about it?

Are You Planting or Staring at Your Seed?

A few weeks back, I was listening to a podcast, and the speaker spoke about the process of a seed. It encouraged me so much, and I've been thinking about it since then. I want to share with you some of what the speaker said, and some of what God has stirred in me since then.

When you look at a seed, it is obviously doing nothing, it doesn't show any signs of life, it doesn't show any promise, and if you didn't know any better, you would certainly not believe that it showed any potential for growth. Yet, we know, that the moment a seed is planted and watered, something remarkable happens. That seed comes to life, and the product of the planted and watered seed is something fruitful and far greater than the original seed on its own.

The application for our own spiritual lives are many, but I want to focus in on this. For many of us, when we look at our gifts, our talents, or abilities, we see nothing of value. We see something that seems to have no real life, and we struggle to believe that there is anything there worth seeing.

The unfortunate reality is, if we do nothing with what we've been given, that perspective is basically true.

The awesome reality is, if we do something with those gifts and talents, that perspective couldn't be further from the truth.

The only difference in these two realities is what we do with it. If we never plant the seeds God has given us, they'll never grow. If we never do something with the gifts God has given us, we will never see what He can do in and through them.

Stop staring at the seed, and start dreaming about what God might do with that seed once its planted.

God has given you so much, and the things God gives us, that we do something with, He multiplies. In Matthew 25:14-30 we read about three servants who are given talents. Two of them do something with it, and their talents are multiplied, and they are rewarded for it. The third does nothing with what they're given, and what they were given, was taken away.

What has God put in you? What has God gifted you with? What is in you that God is wanting to bless and encourage others with?

If you just stand there staring at the dead seed in your hand, you'll never know.

Community For Both of Us

I was sitting in our monthly staff meeting today, and as I looked around the room, I was reminded of how much more comfortable I feel now sitting in that room, than I did a year ago.

I remember my first all staff meeting, looking around the room as people talked and laughed seemingly connected and comfortable. I however was completely intimidated feeling like I was sticking out like a sore thumb.

Over the last year, I have gotten to know the people in that room, heard their stories, met their families and gotten to know who they really are. Knowing them, has made me feel so much more comfortable around them. As they have let their guards down, and been vulnerable enough to be honest with me, I have felt more at ease.

It made me think, how willing to be vulnerable have I been? How much have I let my guard down? How much effort have I put in to make others feel more at ease?

My first thought, probably sounded a lot like yours. I don't like vulnerability, it makes me feel vulnerable. It's scary, it's risky, and it goes against my nature of self-preservation.

The stark reality however, is that is exactly how healthy community is built and is able to thrive over time. It's a conscious choice by the group to be real, to be honest, and to be vulnerable. In order for it to really work, those choices by whoever goes first, need to be reciprocated by the rest.

So that's my challenge to you and me today. Consider how vulnerable you have been. How willing have you been to let people know who you really are? How much risk have you been willing to take in order for others in your community to be a little more at ease?

There is so much encouragement and strength that is drawn from living in community, but in order for there to be community for both of us, we both need to put some work into it.

If You're Going To Be Here a While

I have always been so amazed by the story of Paul and Silas in prison. It's found in Acts Chapter 16. These two are preaching and telling people about Jesus, and it upsets the religious leaders. So they are questioned, then beaten, arrested, and thrown in prison.

I have experienced judgement for my faith. I have been teased because I am a Christian. I have been left out of things because of what I do for a living. I have been called names because of what I believe. All of those things are basically nothing compared to what Paul and Silas are experiencing in this story.

These guys were beaten badly and then shackled.

How would I respond in that moment? I wonder if I would be angry? I wonder if I would feel sorry for myself? I wonder if I would be upset with God for allowing me to experience such a thing?

Look at how Paul and Silas responded. Acts 16:25 "About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them."

They responded by praying and praising God.

That's crazy.

More than the obviously amazing reality of how they responded with love for God, we see others saw their response as well.

I don't know what you're going through, or what you're facing right now; but I know there are many ways you could possibly be responding to it.

You and I may feel justified in our feeling sorry for ourselves in difficult seasons, we may feel justified in being angry for our circumstances, and maybe we have every right to be.

Yet, if we change our focus a little, God can do something pretty powerful with our circumstance.

If we choose to love God, to praise Him, and refuse to become bitter, people will see something really remarkable in us.

Find a Bible, or look it up online what happens next. Acts 16:25-34.

You may be walking through a difficult season or circumstance, you have been there a while, and you may be there a while longer. Since you're there, you might as well praise God where you are, you never know what He might do in you, for you, or in the life of someone else.

What I would Say to the 20 Year Old Me

I have thought so many times, if I had a way to go back in time to talk with the 20 year old version of me, how many things I would say.

I would likely start off by just smacking me around for a while, but afterward, I would talk about priorities.

I would talk about what really matters, and what really doesn't. I would talk about marriage, and what it means to be a great husband, how it will feel a lot like hard work, but a spouse that you love unconditionally becomes your closest friend. I would talk about being a Dad, and what it takes to be consistent, how to love your kids how they need to be loved, not just what comes easy to you. I would talk about how you will never regret any effort you put into supporting your kids, but you will regret every opportunity you missed. I would talk about friendship, how the friends that selflessly want to see you grow are hard to find, so give back to them, and lean into them when you need to. I would talk about how no one was meant to be an island, and great friends make the most difficult of seasons much more bearable.

How much heartache I would save myself and others if I could go back and speak those things to the younger me.

Unfortunately, that opportunity is never going to come to me, or to you.

But don't just get frustrated, there is something great that you still can do.

Proverbs 13:20 says "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffer harm."

Even if you can't take all this information and share it with the 20 year old "you"; you can take this information and share it with a 20 year old someone.

God has given all of us a measure of wisdom. Through mistakes and victories, we learn things that help us to live more effectively. So share that information with the younger generation God has placed around you. Save them from some of the heartache you experienced. Save them from making the choices like the ones you made that hurt others.

In addition, God has given a measure of wisdom to those who are further down the road of life than you, listen to them, learn from them. After all, sticking solely to what you know, and only spending time with those who are in the same place as you, will cause you to "suffer harm."

What Matters Most to God?

I've had this thought stirring around in my head for weeks now, and it has been consuming my mind, and finding its way into several conversations and situations.

I was listening to a podcast, and the speaker made the passing statement, "What matters more to God than anything?"

I'm sure the rest of the podcast was awesome, but I don't remember any of it. My mind was captivated by this question.

What matters more to God than anything?

There are so many answers that come to mind. Faith for starters. God wants us to be a people of faith. Then other words came rushing in, obedience, forgiveness, and sacrifice.

Then it hit me, the answer is so simple. What matters more to God than anything? People.

People matter more to God than anything else. Not just a particular type of people, not people from a particular place, just people. All people.

This may seem like a pretty simple concept and not worth your read yet, but stick with me for a moment.

So how does this apply when you have conflict with someone? Well, you can't write them off, you can't vilify them, and you can't forget about them. They are extremely important to God, therefore, they should matter to you.

The same idea applies when you are helping friends work through difficulty. You can't push one friend away in order to draw the other close. They both matter.

As this phrase has been going through my head constantly the last couple weeks, I find myself challenged daily to forgive more, to let things go quickly, and to choose to try again with people, and to try again in difficult situations.

The ultimate goal is to see people as God sees them. To see them as incredibly valuable, and to fully grasp that just like you, they matter more to God than anything else.

I pray you are encouraged and challenged with this reality this week!

Slow Down and Deal With It

Change can be difficult, and although new seasons comes with new challenges, they also often bring new blessings.

The part I struggle the most with, is giving myself the opportunity to actually deal with the change and let it sink in.

Usually when one season is coming to an end, and a new one is starting, good or bad, I am trying to move on as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about what I'm losing or gaining, and I don't want to consider what I'll miss.

Change is coming, and I just want to get it over with.

Right now, our family is walking through some change. It's not necessarily major, but it's change none the less. We are moving from the home we have lived in for a few years, and looking to move into a new one.

I have been doing my normal thing of trying to stay busy and ignore all the complex emotional stuff. My wife however taught me a really important lesson this week.

We were packing the last of the small things we needed out of the house, and the kids were putting things in the car, and Treasa realized they all needed a chance to process this change.

We loved this house, we aren't moving because we aren't happy with it, we are moving because we are in a new season, and this house won't work for that.

Moving out of this house is hard, it's sad, and it's painful. We loved this house and had tons of great memories there.

So, Treasa got all the kids together in our living room, and just started talking everything through the reality we were facing. They talked a little, but mostly the kids just cried, they cried a lot. They talked about what they'll miss, and they asked again why we had to move. They expressed frustration, they talked about all that was going on in their head and their heart.

I sat there feeling helpless. Almost all my kids are crying, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I couldn't solve the problem with work or effort. I also knew I wasn't supposed to tell them, "Quit crying and get over it."

The truth was, this circumstance stinks, it hurts, and there is nothing we can do but just process and walk through it together.

The next day, there was a sense of finality to the change. Crying and talking about the situation was really uncomfortable for me, but it was incredibly helpful for my family.

I share all this to make this point; life will bring moments of difficulty. Allow some time for you and your loved ones involved to talk about it. Leave room for yourself to feel whatever you feel, and to say whatever you want to say. It may be uncomfortable, but in the long run, it's the best thing possible for you.

Philippians 4:6,7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heats and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I think this passage is quoted a lot to say, "Don't stress" but there is another message in here that is important for us to hear. "let your requests be made known to God."

God isn't asking us to pretend we don't experience ups and downs. Talk to Him, talk to others, work through it. Then come out the other side, ready to take on your new season.

Different But Still Really Awesome

Today, I had the privilege of subbing in the afternoon for the Middle School History class at ECS. ECS is a private school that is an extension of our church.

I had lunch with all the Middle Schoolers, and then sat with the students afterward in their class as they worked on their projects.

I don't remember a lot about Middle School, but what I do remember is how insecure I was, and how terrified I was of someone not liking me, or pointing out something about me that I didn't like.

As I see these students I see a wide variety of personalities, temperaments, and talents. They are so different, but they are all so awesome.

The kids who keep trying to talk to me about anything other than class work are pretty hilarious and will make tremendous business leaders. The students who are coming up with impossibly complex ideas for their group project will be great inventors and creative minds. The ones who are constantly asking the class to quiet down, and reminding the students in their group to stay on topic, are showing strong signs of leadership. The ones who are taking the assignment very seriously no doubt have bright scholastic futures in front of them.

Since I am a Dad of kids this age, or close to it, it is easy for me to see the promise and bright future in these kids. I am far enough removed from this stage in life, that I can see the eventual product of the young men and women they will become.

I can't help but wonder if this is how God sees all of us. We can get so focused on our imperfections and differences today that we don't see the creation we are becoming, or the beauty of the journey we are on now. We are keenly aware of our weaknesses, and the weaknesses of those around us.

If we could just step back far enough to see the process we are in, and the growth we are experiencing we might get a glimpse into how God sees us. Not as perfect, or complete, but as awesome, and in process!

You Never Know

I remember when I was a pretty young guy, I was riding in a car with my Dad, and there was construction on WA-18 just north of Auburn. We were sitting still in the right lane, and a few cars were zooming past the stopped traffic to cut ahead of the line. I was so frustrated at their refusing to respect others and their disregard for the people following the rules. A few big trucks and cars began to pull out onto the shoulder to block those flying past. I asked my Dad why he wasn't helping to stop these cars.

His response shocked me, and it has stuck with me.

He said, "You never know what's going on in someone else's life. Maybe that car is rushing because his sick kid is sitting in the front seat bent over in pain, and he is rushing him to the hospital."

I am fairly confident the people racing past us were just being rude, but his point was still true. We never really know what is going on in the lives of people around us.

Consider your own story. Has there ever been a time in your life when you were hurting, dealing with a broken relationship, suffering through personal pain; and someone accused you of simply being rude, or disconnected? Their perception of your struggle was defined, not by what was true, but by their assumption of what was true.

It's incredibly frustrating and hurtful when this happens to us.

So why do we do it to others?

When Paul was writing to the church in Corinth he makes this statement.

2 Corinthians 2:11a "For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him?" 

We don't really know anyone's story fully, and we certainly don't know what they are thinking or feeling in that moment.

So allow me to encourage you, consider as you encounter all sorts of people this week, to remember there is more to their story than what you see, and there is a mixed web of emotion and struggle beneath the surface that you know nothing of.

Instead of deciding why they are acting the way they are, offer them grace, offer them patience, offer them room to be imperfect. Hey, even let them cut in front of your car in traffic. You'll never really know why they are in such a hurry.

Your act of kindness might be just the thing they needed.

Stay Present in the Midst of the Rush

The last couple weeks of my life have been pretty crazy. It has felt like there is either something big happening, coming, or just getting over. 

This isn't terribly new for me, being a minister at a life-giving church, a husband to a wonderful wife, and dad to 6 awesome kids keeps me pretty busy most of the time. 

These days there is something I really try to focus on, even in midst of the crazy seasons. Slow down and be present in this moment.

When I went to college, Treasa and I were pretty young, we had 3 kids, I was working full time, I was volunteering at a church about 20-30 hours a week, and taking a full, or more than full, class load. I was stupid busy. The problem was, there were courses I took at school, events I led at the church, trips I took with my family, that I don't even really remember. I was so busy, and so focused on getting things "done" I didn't slow down enough to enjoy what I was doing. 

In a world of goals, dreams, and deadlines, it's easy for us to get so focused on getting things accomplished, that we don't slow down enough to actually experience the beauty and the wonder of the moment we are in. 

So this is my challenge to me, and to you...

Don't become so busy that you are just getting things done, running so quickly that you'll never even remember days like today. 

Sure, take the world by storm; but do it while slowing down enough to have a meaningful conversation with your kids. Reach that goal you set for yourself; but do it while really absorbing the book you are reading, allow the thoughts stirring in your mind to sink in and take root. 

Find the beauty in the tasks in front of you today, be present for them, engage deeply in conversation. You will be so glad you did.

 

Goals For the New Year

The New Year is here, and I've been thinking about how I want to approach 2016. I've always been goal setter, but maybe not in the traditional sense. For me, the new year is an opportunity to examine how I've been prioritizing, and make some adjustments along the way.

Before you think about turning away, I promise, this is not a "Exercise 3 times a week" list.

Okay, here is the list of things I am going to be focusing on in 2016.

1. Plan Vacations: Before you brush off this comment, I don't mean, take a couple trips, one to Disneyland, and one to Hawaii. That isn't my reality either. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be planning vacations. Maybe there are some friends, or family members you've been meaning to go visit. Take the time off, drive over and see them. Make some plans to check out the local sites, make a big deal of it. I've got some people in mind I'd like to see, and a couple cool camping trips in the works; a vacation is a vacation.

2. Planned Activities with my Kids: At the end of a long week, it's easy to simply live together, rather than taking time to do a family movie night, or playing a board game together. A weekend that just rolls by has far less a positive impact than a weekend where you plan at least one thing to do together. I personally love doing a big Saturday morning breakfast for the family. Play a game at table, have the kids help out. It's messy, but there are lots of laughs.

3. Go on Dates with My Wife: Having kids takes a lot of our time and energy, and even when people offer to watch kids, sometimes it's difficult to muster up the energy to get out do something. Every marriage needs time just the two of you alone, and it's even better if you can do something facing each other. Sitting quietly in a dark movie theater isn't exactly a great relationship building experience. Go to dinner, even do something out of the ordinary, check out a local band playing, go bowling. Just do something together, alone.

4. Read: If you wouldn't call yourself a reader, then don't try to bite off more than you can chew. Start off by reading a couple blogs each week. Take a few minutes to read an interesting article. Start there, and work your way up. You don't have to agree with everything you read, or soak it all up as truth; it will help sharpen your mind, and engage your imagination.

5. Trust Others: I am the last person to tell anyone how to do this. I just know I really struggle to trust people. I tend to question whether people are being honest, if they really care about me, and what their hidden motivation might be. This type of thinking is insulting to others, and it puts the breaks on any potential friendship you may have the opportunity to develop.

6. Do What I Feel is Right, No Matter What: What I specifically mean here is, don't wait for others to take the first step, or to approve of my action before making a move. I find myself weighing way too many of my decisions on what others seem to be doing. If I know I need to show kindness to someone else, I'm not going to wait for the other person to make the first step toward me.

7. Forgive Quickly: Forgiveness is hard to live out. Quick forgiveness is even harder, in fact it feels impossible at times. I guess the realization I'm coming to is, I know God wants me to forgive others eventually. So by waiting to forgive, all I'm doing is holding on to something I know I'll eventually let go of, so why wait? You are going to need people to forgive you this year, so forgive others... And do it fast. 

8. Smaller Portions, More Exercise: I promise this is my only diet and exercise goal. This is something that is both important to me, and incredibly hard for me to be consistent on. So I'm setting a goal I know I can knock out of the park. When I order food, make myself a plate etc, I'm going to eat less. When I'm 80% finished with my meal, I'm going to stop eating. I have a gym membership, so I'm going to use it consistently, if that means once a week to start with, then that's where I'll start. 

9. Stop to Celebrate: This one I really need to work on. I am such a big picture person, I am constantly thinking about what needs to be tackled down the road. With that comes the mistake of never celebrating what gets done. This is a really bad habit especially if you are leading teams. I need to stop and celebrate the finish lines we cross, the projects we wrap up, and the goals we achieve.

10. Mentor people, Be Mentored: If you're like me, it's difficult to imagine yourself a mentor. We are so aware of what we don't know, it's hard to imagine we know enough to help anyone else. Truth is, there is always someone who could benefit from spending time with you. So find someone who is a similar path to you, and a few years behind. Take them to coffee, ask lots of questions, and be the worlds greatest encourager. Then every once in a while, if needed, offer advice. As for being mentored, ask someone who you would like to learn from to spend time with them. Show up with great questions, be really transparent and honest, and apply what they suggest you try.

This is my list, what did I forget? What would you add or take off of your list?

Broken, But the Good Kind

I remember when I was younger I would listen to my older brother Geoff pray. I could hear him as he would pray just over his breath, and he would always finish his prayer with, "thank you for dumping my family."  

Night after night, I would listen to him trying to figure out the context, discovering how dumping our family is a good thing. Finally one day, I decided to be brave, and try it out at the end of my prayer and see how things went. My mom was listening, so I figured some feedback might help. So in closing I said, "and God, thanks for dumping my family." My Mom was thrown a bit back, asking why I would say such a strange thing. I told her, "Geoff always says that at the end of his prayer." Without skipping a beat, my brother yelled from across the room, "thank you for what you've done for my family!" 

I'm not sure how I got that so mixed up... but hey, it happened. 

In the same way, we say things in the church, that are completely mysterious to someone visiting church for the first time, or new to church life. I think worship leaders are the best at this... "Thank you Jesus, we are broken before you, bowing at your feet, extolling You with the highest praise." I think to most of us in the room, we have tuned out such language as church language, but to the new family, that kind of prayer, at best weirds them out, at worst, it scares them a bit. 

Changing how our worship leaders pray is a discussion I will avoid here, but I do want to focus in on one saying we hear a lot in the church. 

Broken before God. 

When you first hear this, it sounds like this painfully uncomfortable and aggressive thing. There may be some who disagree with me, but that's not at all what I picture when I think about being broken before God.

To me, broken before God is the choice to abandon all our normal plans and ideas of how we face difficult moments in life. 

Here is what that prayer sounds like for me.

"God, I take all the temporary things I place my trust in, and throw them to the ground, like clay jars full of misplaced hope, I let them fall to the ground, shattering into pieces.  Not my plans, not my strength God. Those things are broken, I stand before You trusting You, I am broken and waiting before you God." 

Brokenness before God is actually a wonderful relief. 

How have you viewed brokenness before God? What other "church phrases" have you come across that you aren't sure about?

Who He Is, Is Enough

This last week was a pretty crazy one for us. The expression, when it rains, it pours was very appropriate for our family. With Thanksgiving week being a shorter week for school and work, it was a get 5 days of work done in 3 days, kind of week. 

Wednesday late afternoon, I was at work and Treasa text me to say our oldest son Isaiah wasn't feeling good, so she thought she should take him to Urgent Care. That way, if he needed some meds we didn't have to worry about getting them on Thanksgiving day. I thought it was a great idea, like most of her ideas, and I assumed that was the worst of it. 

I was wrong. 

Shortly after that text, I got another from Treasa saying they rushed Isaiah over to the ER. I dropped what I was doing at work, and rushed to the car and began to drive the 20-25 minutes to the hospital. 

I was texting everyone I could think of, that I knew would pray, and that I figured would want to know. Between texts, I was doing a combination of crying, praying, and screaming to God. The best prayer I could come up with was, "Jesus, please heal my son." I said it a hundred times I am sure. 

Then a thought came to my mind. 

I began to change my prayer from, "Jesus, please heal my son." and I began to speak out the attributes I knew to be true about God. "God You are love, You are faithful, You are able, You love my son even more than I do, You can heal him, You have healed me and others I know before, You are not surprised by today, You are with me, You have awesome plans for Isaiah and his future."

I went from a place of fear and worry for my son, to a place of confidence in who God is. I knew God was in control. I didn't know how things would work out, and I won't say I knew God was going to heal Isaiah, but I knew who God was, and that was enough. 

The next 24-48 hours were really rough. Isaiah had to get a lumbar puncture, IV's, shots, meds, and all that comes with a hospital stay. It was hard to see him endure all that, but I had a peace in my heart through all of it. 

He is doing amazingly well now, and it seems like we are on the other side of the whole ordeal, but my peace didn't come after, it came during. 

So here is my encouragement for you today, whatever you are facing, whatever you are walking through, take some time to focus on what you know about God. What do you know is true about Him? Speak those things out, say them with confidence, think on the times He has shown Himself faithful to you in the past. I believe, that even in the midst of difficulty, knowing who He is, is enough to help you get through. 

What are some of things you have learned about God and His character that may help you or others? Please share them!

I am praying for you!

Thankful For Scars

When I was a kid, I found lots of opportunities to buck hay. If you don't know what bucking hay is, it's when you walk alongside a flat bed trailer and pick up hay bales out of a field, and throw them on the trailer, then take them to the barn and unload them. Some guys used hooks to pick up the bales, but I always was a fan of grabbing the orange twine and picking them up, then using my knee to lift them up on to the trailer. After grabbing countless bales, and gripping on to twine hundreds of times, my hands developed these thick calluses. I used to think it was cool to take a knife and poke at the callus showing how it didn't hurt, or i'd grab a lighter and see how long I could hold the flame before it hurt too bad.

Hard work produced those calluses, and they made me feel like a superhero.

It's strange how the pain of manual labor gave me calluses that made me feel so strong; but the pain of emotional or mental strain gave me calluses that made me feel so weak. 

I celebrated the scars of hard work, but I was ashamed of the scars that I obtained in my every day living.

I have since changed my mind about that, and I hope to change your mind about it too. 

Whatever scars we acquire during our journey, are proof of not only our strength, but also proof of our ability to carry on when things seem impossible. 

I have scars from loneliness, insecurity, abandonment, shame, fear, and rejection. Each of those came through multiple stories of bad days, ugly people, or bad choices. As a result, I spent a lot of my energy trying to cover up or ignore these scars. 

The thought that I could celebrate the calluses that came from these scars never crossed my mind. 

James 1:2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows it true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

The beautiful reality is, those difficult times, those hard moments, made me who I am today. Sure, I am by no means perfect, but I am better today than I was a year, or ten years ago. I have grown and learned a lot. 

As much as I may not want to accept it, the times of greatest growth in my life, have come during the times of greatest difficulty. 

I am not sure where you are right now, or what you are facing; but I want to encourage you to consider this idea. Whatever difficult you are currently facing, or hardship you are struggling to recover from; has made you stronger, caused you to grow, and has taught you valuable lessons.

One of the greatest gifts I have learned, is the pain I experienced in the past has made me more aware of others experiencing a similar pain. It has allowed me to help them in their journey. 

How have you learned from your hardships to help others?

What can you do, to become thankful for your scars? 

Serving Takes Courage

I'm not sure if you feel this way too, but there are times when serving others is really hard to do.

Sure, there are many times doing something for someone else gives us that warm gushy feeling, and we really enjoy it; but there are times when serving someone else, sparks an inner war of conflict that seems un-winnable. 

I think there are a plethora of reasons why we struggle to serve others. Sometimes it's a person we aren't really fond of, sometimes the timing is just awful, and sometimes we are in a mood where "nice" isn't really on our radar. 

One of the biggest culprits I have experienced personally, is when the person I am serving doesn't seem very grateful that I am helping them. They ask for help, and I go the extra mile to help them, and their response looks like, "I owed them" rather than, "they appreciate it." I confess, that is hard for me. 

A great quote that helps me with that is, "The best way to see if you truly have a servant's heart, is how you respond when someone treats you like a servant." 

Ouch.

When we boil it all down, serving isn't about us, it's about others. So when people respond in a way that doesn't recognize our service, or if they act like people who aren't worthy of service, that makes it difficult, but it shouldn't change our mind about serving.

Service isn't about the one doing the serving, it's about the one they serve, and more importantly about the one Who has called us to service.

Matthew 20:28 puts it this way, Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Jesus was the greatest servant of all time, and the example we should look to, He called us to serve like He did. 

If there was a ever a person who shouldn't have to serve, if there was ever a people unworthy of service... Long story short, we are without excuse.

So my encouragement to you is this, don't give up on serving. Try to see the beauty and power of service on it's own, detached from the people's response. I believe you will be so glad you did, and God will bless you when you serve.

The Power of Your Words

I was at a Pastors training a couple years back. It was something I went to once a month, and it required lots of work. There were books to read, reflection and self-examination of my own habits and leadership practices. It was an awesome time, but also a challenging one. 

At the end of one of these day long trainings, the pastor who was leading it, walked up to ask me how I was doing. We talked for a moment, and he said the simple phrase, "I am really proud of you Daniel, you're doing a really awesome job." I threw out my normal response by sheepishly thanking him, not sure how to respond.

But on the inside, something pretty significant happened. His statement rocked me. It totally threw me off how much his simple sentence had affected me. When he said, "He was proud of me." It was as if I won the lottery, or that he had opened a door for me that would lead to good fortune. 

I wasn't in a place of being particularly low, but his words had clearly hit a chord with me. 

In the end, I think what happened was, I experienced what it feels like when someone you respect and look up to speaks life into you. This leader, this pastor, said he saw something great in me, and he told me he thought that I had what it takes.

His words held power, and he used that power to lift me up, to encourage me, and to propel me forward.

Proverbs 18:21a says "The tongue has the power of life and death."

Regardless of where you are in life, what you do, how old you are, what you have accomplished, there are people that look to you and see someone they look up to.

You hold the power to encourage them, to propel them forward, to speak life into them. 

Your words hold power, use that power to build others up. You would be surprised what your simple words of encouragement will do for them.

Offer God Glory, Not Groaning

Sometimes life is so filled with difficulty, it's hard to see any bright spots shining through. But, most of the time life is a messy stew of good and bad, up and down, sickness and health, joy and sorrow. 

During the times when life gives us the normal flow of good with bad, we have a choice in how we respond. We can focus on the good, or we can focus on the bad. We can dwell on the good, or we can dwell on the bad. 

Before I go any further, let me say, I am not a proponent of "pretend like everything is great." I think we have all had our fill of canned religious responses.

"How are you today?" is often met with, "I am filled with joy and wonder, and thriving in faith and mercy!" 

Let's be honest with ourselves and each other, and admit that life can be really hard sometimes; but when we understand the reality of God's presence with us, and the love He has for us, even the darkest times, aren't completely dark.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Seems like kind of a crazy idea when you first read it. I don't think the author Paul is telling us to say, "Thanks God for my headache." I think a more accurate perspective is that, when things aren't going well, to thank God that you aren't alone and He is with you. When you experience loss, thank God that He gives so many great gifts. 

It's more than the discipline of thanking God for what we have, even during tough times, it's reminding ourselves of where we stand. It's putting our focus on the big picture, not on the current struggle. 

When we choose to give God glory, instead of groaning, it will change both our perspective, and our attitude. 

What Matters Most

I heard someone say the other day that, "the church is the only organization where the members expect every need, every preference, and every obstacle to be fixed and met by the leadership." Essentially, this person was making the observation that the "church" or the people that go to a church have become convinced that the job of the church is to meet all their needs and desires.

This may not seem like a big deal, I mean after all haven't we all heard a friend or family member say, "I need to look for a new church, this one isn't meeting our needs." or, "I am looking for a church that really focuses on all the things that are important to us." or finally, "We are doing some church shopping to find a church that really does well in all the areas that are important to us." 

Maybe some of those statement you yourself have said, maybe they don't bother you at all, or maybe all three make your skin crawl. 

Regardless of your stance on these statements I want you to consider a few things. 

The Disciples followed Jesus for around 3 years. During that time, they saw Jesus do amazing things for all sorts of people. He healed, fed, and encouraged the poor, the rich, the wicked and the innocent. 

The Disciples really only found themselves getting into trouble when they did one thing... 

In Luke 9:46 and again in Luke 22:24 the Disciples are found arguing about which of them is the greatest. 

Jesus rebukes their thinking both times. 

The Disciples lost perspective when they began to think following Jesus was about them, and not about others.   

So let me encourage you with this thought; when you consider your faith, your walk with Jesus, how much of that is about you, and how much of that is about others?

Jesus wants to speak through you, He wants to bless others through you. Don't miss out on those opportunities by focusing on the wrong things. You will be so glad you did!

For more blogs by Daniel, please click here danielcsabo.com