The Value of Us

Every healthy person I know would say there is value in having the influence of other people in their life. What people mean by this however, can be vastly different.

Many people see the value when it means having people that cheer them on. Others see the value in having people who are like-minded share ideas and thoughts amongst themselves. There are also people, although it is a smaller group, who enjoy friendships with people who see things differently than them, in order to see a different perspective.

These are all valuable and important relationships. Certainly none of them are bad, but there is another category I want to talk about.

Sometimes God will put people in our lives that we do not get along with, or we do not see eye to eye with. Our viewpoints on most topics are different and we even find conversations with them to be taxing or forced.

Even still, these relationships are extremely important. No, I am not a glutton for punishment, and no I don't believe meanness is a secret blessing. What I do believe is the we are meant to grow, and these types of relationships can be the ones that help us to grow the most.

James 1:2-4 says, Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

When someone is cheering me on, I want to believe it's true, so I am quick to accept their words as truth. When I see eye to eye on a topic with someone, I naturally see the strength in their argument, and will likely accept it as fact.  When I get along with someone it's easy to see their perspective, and even if it's different than mine, see value in it.

When I am talking with someone that I don't naturally get along with, that I don't see eye to eye with, that I'm not sure if they're for me...  this reveals some deeper truths about me. I know I'm supposed to love people even when they're different, do I? I know I'm supposed to serve others even when they aren't serving me, will I? I know I'm supposed see people as valuable even when I am unable to see the value plainly, can I?

There is incredible value to be found in community with others, whether in your church, your workplace, your community, or your home. Some of that value is found in the pressure and tension of these types of relationships.

My challenge to you is to consider how are you leaning into these types of connections. Do you write them off as odd, or misguided? Do you assume that you aren't meant to dialogue? Do you avoid them all together?

Maybe they won't ever be your closest friend or a trusted confidant, but maybe they will. One thing I know for sure, is they are not a mistake, and their presence in your life is not a coincidence. So what are you going to do about it?

Are You Planting or Staring at Your Seed?

A few weeks back, I was listening to a podcast, and the speaker spoke about the process of a seed. It encouraged me so much, and I've been thinking about it since then. I want to share with you some of what the speaker said, and some of what God has stirred in me since then.

When you look at a seed, it is obviously doing nothing, it doesn't show any signs of life, it doesn't show any promise, and if you didn't know any better, you would certainly not believe that it showed any potential for growth. Yet, we know, that the moment a seed is planted and watered, something remarkable happens. That seed comes to life, and the product of the planted and watered seed is something fruitful and far greater than the original seed on its own.

The application for our own spiritual lives are many, but I want to focus in on this. For many of us, when we look at our gifts, our talents, or abilities, we see nothing of value. We see something that seems to have no real life, and we struggle to believe that there is anything there worth seeing.

The unfortunate reality is, if we do nothing with what we've been given, that perspective is basically true.

The awesome reality is, if we do something with those gifts and talents, that perspective couldn't be further from the truth.

The only difference in these two realities is what we do with it. If we never plant the seeds God has given us, they'll never grow. If we never do something with the gifts God has given us, we will never see what He can do in and through them.

Stop staring at the seed, and start dreaming about what God might do with that seed once its planted.

God has given you so much, and the things God gives us, that we do something with, He multiplies. In Matthew 25:14-30 we read about three servants who are given talents. Two of them do something with it, and their talents are multiplied, and they are rewarded for it. The third does nothing with what they're given, and what they were given, was taken away.

What has God put in you? What has God gifted you with? What is in you that God is wanting to bless and encourage others with?

If you just stand there staring at the dead seed in your hand, you'll never know.

The Lie We've Believed About "Balance"

Have you ever read the Bible and thought, "Why aren't things that happened back then, happening today?" or "How did those people follow God in that way, and I struggle to remember to read my Bible?"

I think the vast space between the biblical accounts and modern day Christianity, particularly here in the US, is due in large part to one word. Balance.

Some how through the years, we have allowed this word balance to creep into our lives in ways it was never meant to.

The Bible talks a ton about Wisdom - Ephesians 5:15 "Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise."
about Seasons - Ecclesiastes 7:14 "In the day of prosperity be happy, but in the day of adversity consider - God has made the one as well as the other. So that man will not discover anything that will be after Him. "
and about Discipline - Hebrews 12:11 "For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

We should be wise in how we allocate our time. We should embrace the different seasons that come our way, allowing ourselves to rest at times, as well as running with endurance at times. We should be people of discipline, being faithful in what we commit to, and faithful to learn and grow.

If these things are how you define balance, then yes, we should be people of balance.

That isn't the balance I am talking about.

The types of balance I am referring to are:
When we choose to speak ugly about someone else because we are just joking, and really we totally care about that person.
When we spend our time listening to, participating in, or watching something that does not honor God, and explain it away as just enjoying some harmless entertainment.
When we redraw the line of what God's Word says, because we don't want others to think less of us.
When we excuse the things we do in private, or only around close friends, because it isn't hurting anyone.
When we use our religious belief to put us on a moral high ground, giving us opportunity to look down on others; because after all, we are on God's side of the issue.

This type of balance has rendered many Christians immobile, and shown a picture to the world, that "Christianity is simply being the same as everyone else, except we get to be more judgmental and critical."

So you ask, what's the difference between the stories we read in the Bible and today? My thought is, balance.

The lie we have chosen to believe that we can have a "healthy balance" of this world and God's Spirit. The lie that we can have a "healthy balance" of love for things, and love for God. The lie that we can have a "healthy balance" of sin and righteousness.

Matthew 6:33, 34 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

Before you perhaps dismiss this as a radical rant or me being overly religious, consider this. God knows you need a home to live in, a job to provide for your family, food on the table, and clothes to wear.

Even still, He tells us, FIRST seek Him and His kingdom.  When we do, all those other things will work out.

What we cannot do, is try to find a balanced comfortable life, and then apply God to it; and expect this to bring miraculous change in us and in others.

My encouragement to you, and the thing I am trying to hang on to for myself is this... In all things, put Christ first. In every circumstance, in every conflict, in every need, in every trial, in every
blessing, in every opportunity, put Christ first.

If we live this way, I believe we will begin to see more and more of what we read about in God's Word.

I believe as we do this, we will not miss for one second, whatever we leave behind.

You Never Know

I remember when I was a pretty young guy, I was riding in a car with my Dad, and there was construction on WA-18 just north of Auburn. We were sitting still in the right lane, and a few cars were zooming past the stopped traffic to cut ahead of the line. I was so frustrated at their refusing to respect others and their disregard for the people following the rules. A few big trucks and cars began to pull out onto the shoulder to block those flying past. I asked my Dad why he wasn't helping to stop these cars.

His response shocked me, and it has stuck with me.

He said, "You never know what's going on in someone else's life. Maybe that car is rushing because his sick kid is sitting in the front seat bent over in pain, and he is rushing him to the hospital."

I am fairly confident the people racing past us were just being rude, but his point was still true. We never really know what is going on in the lives of people around us.

Consider your own story. Has there ever been a time in your life when you were hurting, dealing with a broken relationship, suffering through personal pain; and someone accused you of simply being rude, or disconnected? Their perception of your struggle was defined, not by what was true, but by their assumption of what was true.

It's incredibly frustrating and hurtful when this happens to us.

So why do we do it to others?

When Paul was writing to the church in Corinth he makes this statement.

2 Corinthians 2:11a "For who knows a person's thoughts except the spirit of that person, which is in him?" 

We don't really know anyone's story fully, and we certainly don't know what they are thinking or feeling in that moment.

So allow me to encourage you, consider as you encounter all sorts of people this week, to remember there is more to their story than what you see, and there is a mixed web of emotion and struggle beneath the surface that you know nothing of.

Instead of deciding why they are acting the way they are, offer them grace, offer them patience, offer them room to be imperfect. Hey, even let them cut in front of your car in traffic. You'll never really know why they are in such a hurry.

Your act of kindness might be just the thing they needed.

An Idea That Would Change Everything

I want to talk to you about an issue that is really important to me, but some would label it as controversial.

I grew up in a medium sized middle class American town. I was surrounded by people that I would describe, and I know others would too, as good willed people, that love God and love others.

I say that to explain, I believe I grew up in a culture, that is similar to many Christian Americans.

Alright, here is the context of conversation I want to have with you today...

I grew up believing that women were less important, less valuable, and less capable than men.

Notice I did not say, "much less", but the amount of less, simply doesn't matter.

I have come to realize how wrong I was in this belief.

There are so many directions this conversation can go from here, and many of those conversations are well worth having. However, I would like to focus in on one particular idea that I am especially passionate about.

Here is my big idea.

If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.

It makes me sad when I hear people equate the Bible, or God's thoughts toward women as chauvinistic. I'm not arguing there weren't people in the Bible who were that way. The Old and New Testament are full of them, fact is, that way of thinking is still prevalent today, but that doesn't mean that is God's opinion.

Let me explain what I mean.

The first book and first chapter of the Bible, we find this verse. Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them." God created man and woman in His image. That means, the most accurate picture we can see of God, is found in the combination of both man and woman.

In the very next verse we see this. Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'" 

God blessed both of them, and said to both of them, "I have a plan for you, multiply and take possession of the land."

God had a plan for men and women from the beginning.

Yet the unfortunate reality was, sin entered into the picture.

The result of sin, caused two types of division. Division between mankind and God, and division between men and women. More specifically, that division manifested as men ruling over women.

Since that time, God has been revealing his plan, and actively working to restore that division.

Why is it that people are excited about bridging the gap of separation between mankind and God, but they haven't considered the idea of healing the division between men and women?

Was one part of the curse meant to be restored to the original design, (mankind back in right relationship with God) and the other part of the curse was meant to be blessed? (men ruling over women)

The most quoted passage of Scripture speaks to the restoring of mankind to God. Certainly that is God's heart.

John 3:16,17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

God's Word also speaks to restoring right relationship between men and women, along with all sorts of other types of division we have created.

Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

I believe God wants to restore our relationship with Him, and I believe God wants to restore the relationship between man and woman.

Now you may be reading this, and your mind is going to verses like Ephesians 5:23 Where it says, "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. " If that's you, I get it. My mind has gone there too. I applaud you for considering all of Scripture, and not wanting to build an idea on just one passage.

I ask that you stick with that same line of thinking, because as we talk through all of this, I want you to consider the bigger message that all Scripture communicates when looking at this passage and others like it.

Is this passage in Ephesians (and I encourage you to read the whole chapter) emphasizing an idea that men are more important or more valuable than women? Is it stating that men have greater capability, so God needs them to rule over women?

Or is this passage instructing men to love and lead their family like Jesus loves and leads the church?

I believe the second option to be true. So how does Jesus lead? He leads with sacrifice, grace, patience and selflessness.

This passage, especially in partnership with verse 25, is emphasizing the power of a godly man's sacrificial leadership of his family. This type of living is equated to how Christ loves the church, that is such an honor.

This passage is all about empowering men to lead like Jesus, that type of leadership is defined and modeled by Jesus through putting others first.

I don't believe this passage has anything to do with men ruling over women, nor is it asserting an idea that men are more valuable or capable than women.

I believe many of the passages people use to argue God's desire for men to rule over women, are tangled up due to an assumption about God's heart toward women, that simply isn't true.

I love dialogue, and I hope to have a lot regarding this topic, and I truly am interested in hearing your thoughts. But first please allow me to ask of you, one small favor.

As you are looking over those passages, I would like you to first say this simple statement to yourself, "God revealed His character and likeness through both men and women; in addition to that, God has always had a great plan for both men and women."

I believe, when we start with the assumption that God loves men and women equally, values them equally, and wants to bless them equally, we read Scripture with a better frame of mind.

I am not making the argument that men and women are the same, I think it's pretty obvious that men and women are different. You know who else is different? Men and men, and so are women and women. All people are different.

Treasa and I are indeed very different, but most of our differences aren't easily categorized as male or female. Treasa is far more bold than I am, I am much more sensitive to people's tone of voice, and their choice of words. These are not feminine, or masculine traits, they are human traits.

The fact that we are different, doesn't make one of us more important or valuable than the other.

Men and Women may be different, but God doesn't love them differently. He loves all of us completely.

Men and Women may be different, but the plans He has for us are the same. His plans for each of us are supernatural, they shape who we become, they change the culture around us, they reach out to the furthest parts of the world.

God may have given us different gifts, and the journey He has planned for us, is just as unique as we are. But His plans for all of us, men and women alike, are great.

Let's bring this back to my original thought. If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.

Picture this with me.

Imagine a world, where men and women alike, are fully convinced that God wants to use them in supernatural ways to change and impact the lives of others.

Imagine a world where godly men are energized and encouraged by the leadership and innovation of godly women.

Imagine a world where godly women never pause in fear of what godly men will think, as they choose to step out in faith following God's plan for them.

I believe that ultimately, change like this starts with an understanding that this is God's plan. That this was His plan from the beginning.

That's the world I want to live in. It's also the world I want my daughters and sons to live in.

So let's do our part to dispel the lie, that women are less important, less valuable, and less capable than men. Instead, let's remember God's original design.

Let me close with this. The most oppressed people group in all of history is women. It was true a couple thousand years ago, and it's still true today. How drastically different will this world look, when this pattern of oppression is broken?

I bet there isn't a single thought that scares the enemy more than that one.



Tell me what you think. Does any of this strike a chord with you? Share your thoughts and stories, I would love to hear them.

Serving Takes Courage

I'm not sure if you feel this way too, but there are times when serving others is really hard to do.

Sure, there are many times doing something for someone else gives us that warm gushy feeling, and we really enjoy it; but there are times when serving someone else, sparks an inner war of conflict that seems un-winnable. 

I think there are a plethora of reasons why we struggle to serve others. Sometimes it's a person we aren't really fond of, sometimes the timing is just awful, and sometimes we are in a mood where "nice" isn't really on our radar. 

One of the biggest culprits I have experienced personally, is when the person I am serving doesn't seem very grateful that I am helping them. They ask for help, and I go the extra mile to help them, and their response looks like, "I owed them" rather than, "they appreciate it." I confess, that is hard for me. 

A great quote that helps me with that is, "The best way to see if you truly have a servant's heart, is how you respond when someone treats you like a servant." 

Ouch.

When we boil it all down, serving isn't about us, it's about others. So when people respond in a way that doesn't recognize our service, or if they act like people who aren't worthy of service, that makes it difficult, but it shouldn't change our mind about serving.

Service isn't about the one doing the serving, it's about the one they serve, and more importantly about the one Who has called us to service.

Matthew 20:28 puts it this way, Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Jesus was the greatest servant of all time, and the example we should look to, He called us to serve like He did. 

If there was a ever a person who shouldn't have to serve, if there was ever a people unworthy of service... Long story short, we are without excuse.

So my encouragement to you is this, don't give up on serving. Try to see the beauty and power of service on it's own, detached from the people's response. I believe you will be so glad you did, and God will bless you when you serve.

What Matters Most

I heard someone say the other day that, "the church is the only organization where the members expect every need, every preference, and every obstacle to be fixed and met by the leadership." Essentially, this person was making the observation that the "church" or the people that go to a church have become convinced that the job of the church is to meet all their needs and desires.

This may not seem like a big deal, I mean after all haven't we all heard a friend or family member say, "I need to look for a new church, this one isn't meeting our needs." or, "I am looking for a church that really focuses on all the things that are important to us." or finally, "We are doing some church shopping to find a church that really does well in all the areas that are important to us." 

Maybe some of those statement you yourself have said, maybe they don't bother you at all, or maybe all three make your skin crawl. 

Regardless of your stance on these statements I want you to consider a few things. 

The Disciples followed Jesus for around 3 years. During that time, they saw Jesus do amazing things for all sorts of people. He healed, fed, and encouraged the poor, the rich, the wicked and the innocent. 

The Disciples really only found themselves getting into trouble when they did one thing... 

In Luke 9:46 and again in Luke 22:24 the Disciples are found arguing about which of them is the greatest. 

Jesus rebukes their thinking both times. 

The Disciples lost perspective when they began to think following Jesus was about them, and not about others.   

So let me encourage you with this thought; when you consider your faith, your walk with Jesus, how much of that is about you, and how much of that is about others?

Jesus wants to speak through you, He wants to bless others through you. Don't miss out on those opportunities by focusing on the wrong things. You will be so glad you did!

For more blogs by Daniel, please click here danielcsabo.com  

Sometimes the Perfect Response is Rest

I don't know if you are like me, but I am one of those strange people that fight feelings of guilt when I take time off from work. 

I worry about who will have to carry my load when I'm gone, and I fret over what I may have forgotten to tell someone before I left. 

I envy the people who clock out and switch into vacation mode, and don't give it another thought until they walk back into the office when they get back. 

The reality is, vacations are a great thing. In fact, rest in general is a wonderful thing. Taking a break is at times the best decision you can make. 

Luke 5:16 says, But He (Jesus) would withdraw to desolate places and pray. 

Jesus understood that getting away, resting, withdrawing was an important part of healthy living. He certainly felt the stress and pull of people's needs and expectations; so He got away when He needed to.

 

So here is my encouragement to you today. If you have been feeling overwhelmed, or stretched thin, it's probably time for you to withdraw and get away from it all. You may not have the ability to drive off to a hotel for a weekend, but it may just take an opportunity to turn off your phone and computer, and go sit on your back porch, or just go to a park and sit. Let the busyness of life fade away, get alone and let God offer you rest. 

Trust me, even when things are crazy, sometimes the perfect response to your situation is rest. 

Push Through, You Might Be Surprised

When I first joined the Army, I had never really been into running. I played some sports, and was a pretty active kid, but never pushed myself or really worked hard at running.

In Basic Training, running isn't really a choice.

In Basic they would have three groups that would go out for runs in the morning. The A, the B, and the C group. A was the skinny long distance running people, B the middle of the road, and C those who really struggled. I went for group B. I didn't think much about it, I just figured that was the right group for me.

I remember a few days in, during one of our runs I thought to myself, "Maybe Basic won't be so bad, I can do this." No sooner had I finished that thought, my Drill Sergeant screamed at me, "Sabo! If I ever see you in B group again, I will destroy you!" That was his way of telling me, he felt I belonged in the A group.

From then on through Basic, I was pushed to my limit each day. Surrounded by skinny runners who found joy in it. It was a pretty difficult couple months.

After Basic Training, you go to something called, AIT, it is basically the schooling for your specific job; but school with Drill Sergeants. My first morning there I jumped into formation for the morning run, and began practicing in my mind what faces I could make that would make me look exhausted.

Just before we took off, our First Sergeant yelled to our Drill Sergeant, "Hold up!" "I smell a couple runners in this group..." He walked slowly through the group looking up and down all these soldiers, and yep, you guessed it, he stopped at me and said, "Soldier, you're mine now."

Our First Sergeant had a special running group called, "Quick Strike" This group ran with the First Sergeant, and that man loved to run... fast... and far.

For the next few weeks I felt like I was going to die. My lungs were always burning, my legs were always hurting. During these runs, our First Sergeant would always be yelling at us, "keep pushing through soldier, you may find a strength you didn't know you had."

At first it just felt like he was mocking my pain.

Then one day as we were running, I felt my body desperately wanting to quit; but there was this voice in my head, maybe there is a strength in me I didn't know I had. So I pushed, I pushed against my pain, I pushed against the burning in my lungs, I pushed through reason.

Then something happened I never expected. All the pain, all the burning almost completely faded away. It was like there was this switch inside me that decided what I used to consider great pain, was now just a mild inconvenience.

My First Sergeant pushed me to learn a really important lesson. When you refuse to quit, when you refuse to give up, when you choose to push through, you find something in you, that you didn't know was there.

The Bible says it this way, Isaiah 40:31 "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

So let me encourage you with this thought, push through. Whether it's a relationship, a job, or a goal, choose to push through.

It may feel impossible, it may seem like there is no way you can push through. So let me share those words that were shared with me.

"Keep pushing through soldier, you may find a strength you didn't know you had."

5 Things You Need, to Build Unity in Your Team

All of us are a part of some sort of team.

Whether it is your family, your co-workers, your church, or a club you belong to, everyone is a part of a team.

Unfortunately that doesn't mean everyone is a part of a healthy team, or a team that operates from a
place of unity.

Reality is, we all likely have a story about a toxic team, or an unhealthy environment we have been a part of.

One thing I am sure we could all agree on, unity is awesome and lack of unity isn't any fun. 

So here are 5 things, I believe will help any team, regardless of the type or size, grow in unity.  

1. Truth in Love

Many people choose to live on one side or the other of this issue. 

Some say they want to love people. So they only say nice things, and if they can't think of something encouraging, they choose to say nothing. They don't want to hurt people, so they stick to loving uplifting statements only.

The other group of people are the truth police. They walk around pointing out the faults and mistakes of others. They leave behind a trail of insecurity and hurt feelings, all while flying their banner of truth.

Both of these people are wrong. Real love means being honest with each other. Truth without love for people is just meanness. 

To be a part of a team that lives in unity, you need to commit to being honest with each other. This means communicating truthfully, but in a way that clearly expresses your care for the other person.   

2. Celebrate Each Others Ups

I remember a long time ago I was with a friend who was honored in a really cool way. He had done something pretty remarkable, and was received the kudos he was clearly due. The problem was, I was sick with envy and frustration that he was getting it. 

I found myself visibly upset, because someone else was getting praise. After that day, I committed to God I never wanted to find myself in that position ever again. I have since used my response to others victories as a meter for how healthy I am. If others are experiencing a great moment, and I am having to force a smile, there is some work that needs to be done in my heart. 

To have unity, you need to learn to be just as happy for your team members victory, as you are for your own. 

3. Grieve Each Others Downs

The other side of this issue is when your teammates are having a bad day, or experiencing a down moment. 

This principle works the same way, but in reverse. When your teammate is down, are you glad they are down and not you? Or do you want to help them back up? 

Use these moments as a self check. If you see them down and out, and you are having to fight off a smile, there is some serious work that needs to be done in your heart. 

You will never find a sense of unity if you aren't able to empathize with your team member in their low moments. 

4. Think Team Win, not the Individual Win

The natural follow up to these last two ideas is this simple concept. You have to view wins and losses as a team, not as individuals. If one of your team members is down, you are down too. If one of your team members is being celebrated, your team is being celebrated too.

This mentality will greatly help you in how you respond to your teams current circumstance. If you take your teams current standing personally, you will be invested in their ability to bounce back, and you will have a sense of personal accomplishment when they knock something out of the park.  

Unity is not only working together, it is realizing you rise and fall together as well. 

5. Make Room For Others

I think the underlining issue that makes some of these steps difficult to walk out, is we believe that there is only so much acclamation to be had. We believe there is only so many "atta boys" that can be given, and a very small platform for the victors. 

That simply isn't true.

There is room for all of us to succeed, there is room for many to shine. Even more than that, the team victory is so much better than individual one. 

This is my list of what it takes to make unity. What would you add to the list? Or what would you take off?

Choosing Faith or Planning

Two common sayings I hear in the church are; "Don't over spiritualize everything" and "Don't under spiritualize everything." 

A situation or scenario presents itself, and you have to decide, whether or not it was a God moment, or perhaps the result of a late night fast food trip.

You may have experienced this, you're sitting there in church, in your seat on a Sunday morning, minding your own business, and out of nowhere there is a call to action. Maybe it's to give your time to a ministry that needs more volunteers; maybe it's to give money to a missionary or a ministry area in the church that needs financial support; or scariest of all, maybe it's a person you see, that you feel compelled to talk to. Whatever it is, it surprised you, and the idea of whether or not you are supposed to step out in that moment isn't completely clear. 

If you're anything like me, in those moments, I often begin to rationalize my response. "Well, I have never served in that area, so I probably wouldn't be much help to them." Or, "I didn't really budget this month to give anything so, it would be irresponsible to give right now." Or most commonly, "I don't really know that person, so it would be weird if I talked to them." 

Really, these moments come down to a choice to lean into one of two things. We can lean into our faith, or we can lean into our planning. I'm not saying there is  always a right answer; and it's hard to decipher at times whether the moment is a moment for faith, or a moment of compulsion when we need to stick to our planning. 

It is my belief, that the decision you make isn't necessarily the most important thing. The most important thing is where you turn in moments like this. Do you seek God to see what He has to say about it? Or do you take action or inaction based on some other outside circumstance.

Allow me to encourage you, stay present in those moments, lean into God and His voice, and if He asks you to step out, lean into your faith and obey Him. You will be so glad you did.  

Connected, But Not in Practice

As believers, most of us have friends who aren't faithful church goers, or followers of Jesus. In fact, I would venture to guess many of us have friends and family who are even antagonistic to the church. 

These are valuable and important relationships that we should not treat lightly. 

These relationships can become even more complicated, if you began your friendship before you began following Jesus. There is potentially a tension between you because of your life changes, attitude adjustments, and perhaps even a change in your language and demeanor.

Your friends might view these changes as self-righteous, judgmental, or even fake.

They knew you before, and so that adds a layer of complexity to whole situation.

So what do we do? 

The answer is be connected, but not in practice. God desires for us to be connected to people, so we can share His love, His message of invitation, and invite them to join in a journey with Jesus.

The thing is, you don't have to do this by compromising your choices and the conduct God has called you to live by. You can be connected and in relationship and pursue your relationship with Jesus.

Jesus was the ultimate example of living separate in conduct, and connected in relationship.

So be good to the people God has placed in your life. Live in a way that shows Jesus, and love people where they are.

So stay connected, but not necessarily by practicing the same things. The power of your life as a believer is your ability to love all people, all while choosing not to compromise your choice to live in a way that honors God.   

Do For Others, What You Wish They Did For You

Have you ever been walking through life, minding your own business, and this epiphany comes flying out of nowhere, and knocks you over. 

I had one of these moments today. I was talking with a friend, and as we were joking, he said, "Do for others what you want done for you, not just what was done to you." 

It was a simple statement but it really hit me hard in that moment. I need to treat people and help people, in a way that I want to be treated and helped. 

I think sometimes when we look at someone struggling, we feel a sense of satisfaction if we suffered in a similar way. We can think to ourselves, "I had to suffer through that, so they should too!" As I write that out, I admit I feel a bit of shame for even confessing I have thought that way! 

Jesus said in John 13:34 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

When we love people, how Jesus instructs us to love people, we should be compelled to help them avoid the same suffering we have endured; not celebrate that they have to suffer too.

So consider this thought, when you see someone going through a struggle you have endured before, stop and help them out! You know how much you didn't like it. Chances are, they don't like it exactly as much as you did.

If we can help someone out, we should right? So get to work! 

Worship with Purpose

I love music. I love the sound of multiple instruments perfectly intertwined together with different voices playing in different octaves all coming together to create one beautiful sound. 

As much as I love music, I love worship so much more. 

Music alone is powerful and meaningful. Beautiful music with thought provoking lyrics is even better.  But there is nothing that can compare to the power and significance of worship. 

Worship is a means for us to connect to and converse with God. Psalm 95:6 says, "Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!" We are called to worship, and called to give God praise; but sometimes we aren't really sure what that even is supposed to look like.

With that in mind, I want to share with you, what my worship experience typically looks like.

I am not saying this is the only thing that happens, or should happen during worship; but, if worship for you has seemed flat or lacking in meaning, I encourage you to try this next time you walk into a worship gathering.

While I worship I am simply agreeing with the words in the song that speak about God and His character. If we sing Forever Reign, and these words come up,  "You are good, you are good when there's nothing good in me." That rings so true in my life. God has always been so good to me, even when there is nothing redeeming about my attitude or behavior. So I simply say in my heart, "Yes God! Thank You for being good to me, no matter what!" 

Another aspect of worship for me is getting my heart back in alignment. If we sing the song God I Look to You, and we sing the words, "Give me vision, to see things like you do." I ask God to do just that. It is so easy for me to get off track, and caught up in the frustrations or uncertainties of life, and my vision is all about me and my perspective. So I ask God to help me to see things how He does, how He wants me to see them. 

It may seem odd, simple, or even uncomfortable at first, but I believe as you worship with purpose you will find your worship experience to become more meaningful and enjoyable. 

So give it a try. Worship with purpose this week! 

Choosing Not To Be Lonely

One of the first observations God made of man was that it was not good for him to be alone. Yet all these years later, many of us spend our time battling loneliness. Maybe we have a hard time making new friends, or even keeping the old ones. Perhaps it's because trust does not come easily; and doubt and suspicion are never in short supply. 

Truth is, most of what causes us to pause before building a new friendship, or walk away from an old one, is not fully based on substance. Rather it is based on the appearance of substance.

In Psalm 23:4 it says "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

I want you to look carefully at that verse again. It doesn't say "Even though I walk through the valley of death..." It says, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…"

Often times we are deterred from good things God wants to give us, because we have been scared off by a shadow. 

When I read this verse, I think about the old cartoons where the main character was in a cave, and a scary shadow was looming around the corner. So they cower in fear as this figure approaches. Then lo and behold, a small cricket that was producing a massive shadow walks around the corner.

It wasn't a monster, it was the shadow of a monster. 

Certainly people can let us down, and there are times when it best to choose better company than we currently keep; but, often times small misunderstandings or mistakes can be worked through with a little bit of effort.

So my encouragement to you is this, don't stay lonely just because you see the shadow of something that could be scary. Build friendships, introduce yourself to someone new. Go to lunch with someone, join a Small Group. Get out there and choose not to be lonely anymore. 

Why is Change So Hard?

I remember being at a church meeting where everyone was discussing which instruments should be on the stage at the church. Some passionately argued that piano and organ were the only acceptable instruments in the church. Others said that we need instruments like drums and electric guitars to be more relevant.

People pleaded their cases with passion, emotion, and a variety of vantage points. This was in a church, so of course people were using lots of Bible verses to back their point as well.

I remember looking at the faces of some of the people who were later on in their years, and this wasn't just a matter of opinion, this was emotional, this was incredibly important to them.

After the discussion had gone on for a while, an older man stood up to speak. He said, "You know it's funny to me, that we are having an argument, saying that the piano and the organ are the only instruments God desires in His church. I find this odd, because it was not many years ago, that a piano was found mainly in the bars, and the organ was found mainly in the theaters. Neither of these places are establishments any self-respecting Christian would have found themselves in."

His point hit to the heart of each person there. Jesus didn't have a piano or an organ. He didn't have a drum set or an electric guitar either.

People were passionate about their stance, not because of the importance biblically. They were passionate about their stance because of the importance personally.

They had an expectation of what was supposed to be in the church, and the idea of deviating from that norm, was too much for them to bear.

Change is hard.

I think sometimes we fall into the trap of believing God's primary desire, is for us to be comfortable. That simply is not the case. In fact, we are called to walk through life depending on our faith, not depending on our comfort.

Hebrews 11:8 says, "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going." 

God called Abraham to follow Him, even though Abraham didn't know what might happen along the way. God didn't provide Abraham with comfort for his journey, God provided Abraham with faith for his journey.

So what changes are you facing? What part of your life is changing faster than you are comfortable with? What events have occurred in your life to throw you off track?

Allow your faith to be what carries you through. Faith can move mountains and calm seas.

Our faith is powerful, not our comfort.

10 Things You Should Be Doing In Your Church

I love the older saints in the church that have faithfully been a part of the body for years.

Their historical perspective and ability to see that this recent bump in the road will soon pass, is so valuable.

If you take the time to connect with, and become friends with these older saints, you will be so glad you did.

Another part of ministry I love is when a person with no church background, or concept of church culture, starts coming to the church.

There is a vantage point you can gain from these friends that you cannot get anywhere else.

If you take the time to connect with them, they can help you see where you have become culturally ignorant, gotten lazy in your preaching and presentation, developed ugly habits, or forgotten to plan for visitors. If you are willing, a new person can help you see the blind spots you may have.

With that being said, I think all types of people, old and new to the church, aren't always quite sure what their part in church life is supposed to look like.

So in order to help with this dilemma, I have crafted this highly scholastic, and research heavy list of 10 things each church member should be doing on a regular basis.

1. Smile
I am sure there is some study somewhere that proves this, but did you know that smiling is awesome? When you smile at people, it makes them feel better about themselves, and better about you. When you are about a block away from your church, I want you to look into a mirror, get that smile out, and don't put it away until you are gone. (Proverbs 17:22)

2. Come Early and Stay Late
The mathematical probability of you getting to know someone at your church increases dramatically when you show up before service starts, and stick around after it's over and say "hi" to some people. Church is meant to be a community, so be a part of your community. Instead of treating our church like a movie theater, we need to treat it like a living room. (Romans 12:10)

3. Say "Thank You"
No doubt, somewhere in your time at the church, someone will do something for you. Perhaps they are opening a door, or checking your kids into the nursery or something else along those lines; when they do, say "Thank You." They didn't have to, and I am sure you are grateful they did, so let them know. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

4. Do Something
Contrary to the view of some, church is not a spectator sport, it is an all hands on deck lifestyle. You may not have the vocal chops to sing on stage, but you can shake hands. There are so many places in the church where there is constant need. Kids need teachers, paper programs need dispersing, doors need holding, new people need directing, teenagers need investing. There is so much more to be done, than there are people to do it. So talk to your church leaders and choose to do something. (Galatians 6:9)

5. Bring Someone
A party with three people is fun, but a party with ten people is even more fun. Church with thirty people is great, but church with the addition of twenty friends is even better. You are already going, and you most likely have room in your car for at least one more. So bring someone to church with you. (Matthew 28:19, 20)

6. Get Uncomfortable
Allow me to address the consumer mentality some of us approach our church with. We want to hear professional grade music that speaks directly to us and our unique musical taste. Then we want to be inspired by a great sermon that addresses our needs for that week, without stepping over any lines that could potentially offend us or make us uncomfortable. I hate to tell you, but that church doesn't exist. So decide to get uncomfortable. Choose to love the people around you, more than you love your favorite style of sermons or songs. (1 Peter 3:17)

7. Give
Now seems like a good time to thump my Bible... In Acts 20:35b it says, "remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."You may struggle to find extra time in your week, you may struggle to make your paycheck last you until the next one comes in, but trust me here. Find a way to give. Give your time, give your talents, and give your money. Certainly others will be blessed by your giving, but believe me when I say, you will be even more blessed than them. (Luke 6:38)

8. Think Big Picture
It is so easy to become completely focused on how things affect us in the church. What we think of the new carpet, the order of service, the length of sermons or whatever. We can feel very strongly about any number of things, and we may even have great reason for our strong feelings. Even still, we need to keep in mind that we are one of many. Your church leaders no doubt work tirelessly to prepare a service that is a blessing to everyone. I am sure they are constantly considering the balance of how to present a service that will uplift all that come, regardless of age or background. Your leaders are trying to think big picture, so help them out by thinking big picture too. (Philippians 2:3)

9. Welcome Change
Here is a hard one for all of us. We like our coffee extra hot, we like our room temperature at 68 degrees, and we like our steak cooked medium rare. The idea of changing any of these things seems ludicrous to us. We like what we like, and we don't want to change it. Yet change is coming, and if we are honest about it, we also know that change is necessary. In order to reach our community that is constantly bombarded with change, we need to adapt to meet our audience. To be clear, I am not saying we should attempt to change what the Bible says, I am suggesting we change how we choose to present it. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

10. Go To Church
Some studies show that the average church attender goes to church only once or twice a month. I know it's easy to get busy, but this is important. These are your friends, and your family, they need you. You are tasked together to share the greatest news ever told, the message of Jesus and His love for the world. So be there, and be there regularly. (Hebrews 10:25)

I hope this list has been helpful to you. Even more than that, I hope you choose to live these out. You may be great at 5 or 6 of them, but I believe each of us should strive to be great at all 10.

Wait a Second Before That Yes or No

Have you ever signed up for something, or turned an opportunity down, only to later regret that decision?

Maybe you are the one who gets caught up in a conversation, and find yourself making a long term decision in a matter of seconds; or maybe you are the one who is so scared of doing something new, that you find yourself saying "no", and later wishing you would have said "yes".

You find yourself in a situation when someone asks if you can help, and it ends up being the day you were finally going to take a day off; or you agree to help with something at the church, even though you are already completely overwhelmed.

Maybe someone asks if you would like to go on a trip, and by the time you realize you would like to go, you already missed the opportunity; or you decline an offer to be a part of something, and end up watching from the outside wishing you would have chosen to be involved.

Regret is an ugly feeling.

Proverbs 13:15 says "Wise people think before they act; fools don't, and they even brag about it!"

To those of us who frequently rush into a "yes", this verse is especially hard to hear. Not only do we agree to do more than we should, we even brag about how busy we stay!

Many times these types of decisions can lead to feeling overwhelmed, and perhaps even feelings of anger or bitterness toward others because you are spread too thin.

God desires that we be a part of things, but not a part of everything!

Luke 14:16-20 says "A man once gave a great banquet and invited many. And at the time for the banquet he sent his servant to say to those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.' But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, 'I have bought a field, and I must go out and see it. Please have me excused.' And another said, 'I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I must go examine them. Please have me excused.' And another said, 'I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.'"

To those of us who frequently rush into a "no", pay close attention to this story.

This is a story Jesus tells to make a point about priorities. God has many great blessings available to us, and He desires for us to receive those blessings. Yet, we can become distracted or pulled away by our priorities or our fears.

The man in the story was wanting to bless his friends, but his friends missed the blessing, because of their excuses.

At times, we have an opportunity to be a part of something great, or to receive something great, but we miss it, because of our excuses.

The story concludes in verse 24 with this, "For I tell you, none of those men who were invited shall taste my banquet." 

Just because you can think of a reason not to, doesn't mean you shouldn't be a part. Sometimes our reason for a "no", is just a bad excuse.

Let me encourage you with this, when opportunity knocks, stop to think and pray about it. Take time to make your decision, and then make a great decision!

Keep in mind, if you are quick to a yes, or quick to a no, it may feel a little uncomfortable to consider the other option, but I believe you will be pleasantly surprised if you give it a try!

5 Things Your Pastor Wish You Knew

Here is a short list trying to simplify a complicated issue. I won't tell you that every Pastor agrees with this list, but I am sure many will!



1. We Need Your Help

No one is an island. Not even your Pastor.

It often seems in the church, that there is more to do, than there are people to do it.

Find ways to help and be involved.

Also keep this in mind, if you offer to help your Pastor, then ask them to "help you help" you are missing an opportunity to take something off their plate.

Sometimes the greatest blessing you can give your Pastor is to quietly accomplish something that needs to be done.


2. We Know Our Kids Aren't Perfect... And That's Okay

In many circles we hear the phrase PK's, "Pastor's Kids" for those who don't know, as a negative thing.

Perhaps this comes from Pastors putting too much time in at the church, and not enough time in at home. *Refer to #1

In addition to that, I think some of the rebellious things we see Pastor's kids do, is because of the pressure they feel to be perfect. Often times this pressure comes from people in the church.

An 8 year old is an 8 year old, regardless of what their parents do for a living.

So give your Pastor's kids grace to be kids. Your Pastor and the PK's will be better for it!


3. Sometimes We Don't Know The Answer

Amidst the constant questions of, "What does this verse mean?" or, "What should I do in this situation?" It is easy for your Pastor to become coerced into thinking they need to have all the answers.

So when your Pastor does tell you they don't know the answer, or they aren't sure what to do; don't look at them with terror in your eyes.

Leave room for your Pastor to be unsure.



4. We Want You To Ask Us How We Are Doing


You may be tired of hearing your Pastor ask, "How are you?"

Chances are, your Pastor isn't tired of you asking them!

Ministry can feel pretty one sided. Your Pastor loves you, and cares about you, and wants to know how you are doing.

Your Pastor would also like to know that you love them, care about them, and want to know how they are doing.



5. We Also Have 24 Hours In Our Day

In order to last in full time ministry for any length of time, you need to love people, and love helping people.

That can lead to a pretty full plate.

Your Pastor's desire to help, and the church's need for help often leads to your Pastor feeling spread thin.

I know you are just asking for 30 minutes, or you only call in the evenings once or twice a month, but if you and 50 other people are doing that... well, do the math.

Remember your Pastor has a job, a family, friends, (maybe) and in some extreme cases, they may even have a hobby outside the church.


 I hope you find this list helpful, but remember don't just read this list, find ways to apply what you learned!

If you are a Pastor, Pastor's Spouse, or PK, I would love to know if you agree with these, or what you would add to the list!

A Kingdom Heart

A couple weeks ago we had a baptism service here at our church. 

I love Baptism Sundays because there is such a unique life and excitement in the air that surrounds these days. 

After service was over, I had jumped on Facebook and saw that the post I had written earlier about our Baptism service was being celebrated by friends and family all over. I was so encouraged.

As I scrolled through Social Media, I saw that some other sister churches had also had Baptism services. We had 6 Baptisms that Sunday, some had 12, some 20, and there was even one with over 140! 

I was so filled with joy. God had won the day. People were moving forward in their relationship with Jesus, churches were successfully fulfilling the Great Commission.

In the midst of this moment of reflection and celebration, I was posed with this question.

"Doesn't it bother you that all those other churches had more baptisms than you?"

In the midst of celebrating a great day, a great victory, something so starkly opposite was dropped in my lap. 

It is not a perspective I haven't heard before, in fact it is a mindset that, unfortunately, I hear all the time. 

The heart of this statement comes from a desire to compete, and even more, a belief that you are losing that competition.

Simply put, this type of statement is an indicator of lack of self worth. 

Many people cannot find it in themselves to compliment, or celebrate others accomplishments.

The reason for it, is they believe by celebrating someone else's victory, they are taking from themselves, and giving it away to another. 

They see open encouragement as an addition to another, and a subtraction from themselves. 

They cannot afford to celebrate with others, because they couldn't possibly risk feeling any lower than they already do.

This mindset is based on a lie. Lifting others, lifts you! Encouraging others, encourages you! Celebrating others allows you to be part of the celebration!

God is a God of addition and multiplication, not of subtraction and division.

Be encouraged today, and know that you have so much worth! 

Look carefully at what King David says here in Psalm 139:13-16 "Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watch me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day."

You are so valuable! You were crafted by God, which makes you a beautiful creation! 

So let me encourage you, you beautiful creation of God! Rest in the truth of your great value, and take time to remind others of their worth as well.