Why is Change So Hard?

I remember being at a church meeting where everyone was discussing which instruments should be on the stage at the church. Some passionately argued that piano and organ were the only acceptable instruments in the church. Others said that we need instruments like drums and electric guitars to be more relevant.

People pleaded their cases with passion, emotion, and a variety of vantage points. This was in a church, so of course people were using lots of Bible verses to back their point as well.

I remember looking at the faces of some of the people who were later on in their years, and this wasn't just a matter of opinion, this was emotional, this was incredibly important to them.

After the discussion had gone on for a while, an older man stood up to speak. He said, "You know it's funny to me, that we are having an argument, saying that the piano and the organ are the only instruments God desires in His church. I find this odd, because it was not many years ago, that a piano was found mainly in the bars, and the organ was found mainly in the theaters. Neither of these places are establishments any self-respecting Christian would have found themselves in."

His point hit to the heart of each person there. Jesus didn't have a piano or an organ. He didn't have a drum set or an electric guitar either.

People were passionate about their stance, not because of the importance biblically. They were passionate about their stance because of the importance personally.

They had an expectation of what was supposed to be in the church, and the idea of deviating from that norm, was too much for them to bear.

Change is hard.

I think sometimes we fall into the trap of believing God's primary desire, is for us to be comfortable. That simply is not the case. In fact, we are called to walk through life depending on our faith, not depending on our comfort.

Hebrews 11:8 says, "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going." 

God called Abraham to follow Him, even though Abraham didn't know what might happen along the way. God didn't provide Abraham with comfort for his journey, God provided Abraham with faith for his journey.

So what changes are you facing? What part of your life is changing faster than you are comfortable with? What events have occurred in your life to throw you off track?

Allow your faith to be what carries you through. Faith can move mountains and calm seas.

Our faith is powerful, not our comfort.

Get To Know Yourself

I remember a few years back, sitting down with my friend Dan in his living room talking about life. We have this thing where we talk about big complex ideas and how we can solve the world's problems.

Dan is a deep thinker, I like that about him.

Dan says, "You know, if people really cared about their friends and family they would talk to them about the blindspots they have in their life." Dan was referring to a familiar concept that many of us I am sure can relate to.

We all have friends or family that have that "thing" about them that everyone in the world knows they do, except them.

Maybe it's something silly like their nose whistles, or maybe it's a habitual problem of interrupting others. Regardless of what it is, everyone else notices, but the person doing it, has no idea they are.

Dan had a good point. Sure it's no fun to point out someone else's faults, but isn't it worse to say nothing?

I was pondering Dan's observation, and then my insecurity creeped in, so I asked Dan a question that I thought would help calm my fear.

"Do I have any blindspots?"

I fully expected Dan to say, "Of course not! You are so awesome, and as near to perfect as humanly possible!"

I was wrong.

Instead of that statement, Dan got kind of a serious look on his face and asked me, "Do you really want me to tell you?"

Of course I didn't want him to tell me, but I wasn't about to say that out loud. So I answered, "Yes of course I want to know." I think I even managed to produce a fake smile, like I was excited about it.

Dan began to point out an area of my life that was hurtful to others, and I was completely unaware.

He was right... that jerk.

Yet, as much as I didn't like hearing it that day, it gave me a chance to change something about myself that I didn't like, and others certainly didn't like as well.

Getting to know yourself is hard, and often times it isn't fun; but it is also really beneficial.

So please allow me to offer you two small pieces of advice.

First, stop and evaluate where you are and how you are living from time to time.

2 Corinthians 13:5 says "Examine yourself..." 

Anyone who fails to evaluate themselves, isn't growing like they should be.

Consider the tone in how you speak to others. Look at the quality of work that you do. How do you treat others? How do others respond when you walk into a room? How much of the conversations you are in are driven by you?

Get honest with yourself, and commit to grow.

Second, spend time around friends who love you enough to tell you the truth.

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Great friendships are the ones that help us grow.

So choose to be a great friend and help your friends grow too. The phrase "iron sharpens iron", implies that both people are being sharpened, both people are growing.

It's hard to hear about an area of your life that needs growth, but it is also hard to gain the nerve to talk to a friend about an area in their life that needs growth.

Commit to embracing both.

Growing isn't automatic it takes effort, and growing with the help of friends is way better.

So get to know yourself, and help your friends get know themselves too.

10 Things You Should Be Doing In Your Church

I love the older saints in the church that have faithfully been a part of the body for years.

Their historical perspective and ability to see that this recent bump in the road will soon pass, is so valuable.

If you take the time to connect with, and become friends with these older saints, you will be so glad you did.

Another part of ministry I love is when a person with no church background, or concept of church culture, starts coming to the church.

There is a vantage point you can gain from these friends that you cannot get anywhere else.

If you take the time to connect with them, they can help you see where you have become culturally ignorant, gotten lazy in your preaching and presentation, developed ugly habits, or forgotten to plan for visitors. If you are willing, a new person can help you see the blind spots you may have.

With that being said, I think all types of people, old and new to the church, aren't always quite sure what their part in church life is supposed to look like.

So in order to help with this dilemma, I have crafted this highly scholastic, and research heavy list of 10 things each church member should be doing on a regular basis.

1. Smile
I am sure there is some study somewhere that proves this, but did you know that smiling is awesome? When you smile at people, it makes them feel better about themselves, and better about you. When you are about a block away from your church, I want you to look into a mirror, get that smile out, and don't put it away until you are gone. (Proverbs 17:22)

2. Come Early and Stay Late
The mathematical probability of you getting to know someone at your church increases dramatically when you show up before service starts, and stick around after it's over and say "hi" to some people. Church is meant to be a community, so be a part of your community. Instead of treating our church like a movie theater, we need to treat it like a living room. (Romans 12:10)

3. Say "Thank You"
No doubt, somewhere in your time at the church, someone will do something for you. Perhaps they are opening a door, or checking your kids into the nursery or something else along those lines; when they do, say "Thank You." They didn't have to, and I am sure you are grateful they did, so let them know. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

4. Do Something
Contrary to the view of some, church is not a spectator sport, it is an all hands on deck lifestyle. You may not have the vocal chops to sing on stage, but you can shake hands. There are so many places in the church where there is constant need. Kids need teachers, paper programs need dispersing, doors need holding, new people need directing, teenagers need investing. There is so much more to be done, than there are people to do it. So talk to your church leaders and choose to do something. (Galatians 6:9)

5. Bring Someone
A party with three people is fun, but a party with ten people is even more fun. Church with thirty people is great, but church with the addition of twenty friends is even better. You are already going, and you most likely have room in your car for at least one more. So bring someone to church with you. (Matthew 28:19, 20)

6. Get Uncomfortable
Allow me to address the consumer mentality some of us approach our church with. We want to hear professional grade music that speaks directly to us and our unique musical taste. Then we want to be inspired by a great sermon that addresses our needs for that week, without stepping over any lines that could potentially offend us or make us uncomfortable. I hate to tell you, but that church doesn't exist. So decide to get uncomfortable. Choose to love the people around you, more than you love your favorite style of sermons or songs. (1 Peter 3:17)

7. Give
Now seems like a good time to thump my Bible... In Acts 20:35b it says, "remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."You may struggle to find extra time in your week, you may struggle to make your paycheck last you until the next one comes in, but trust me here. Find a way to give. Give your time, give your talents, and give your money. Certainly others will be blessed by your giving, but believe me when I say, you will be even more blessed than them. (Luke 6:38)

8. Think Big Picture
It is so easy to become completely focused on how things affect us in the church. What we think of the new carpet, the order of service, the length of sermons or whatever. We can feel very strongly about any number of things, and we may even have great reason for our strong feelings. Even still, we need to keep in mind that we are one of many. Your church leaders no doubt work tirelessly to prepare a service that is a blessing to everyone. I am sure they are constantly considering the balance of how to present a service that will uplift all that come, regardless of age or background. Your leaders are trying to think big picture, so help them out by thinking big picture too. (Philippians 2:3)

9. Welcome Change
Here is a hard one for all of us. We like our coffee extra hot, we like our room temperature at 68 degrees, and we like our steak cooked medium rare. The idea of changing any of these things seems ludicrous to us. We like what we like, and we don't want to change it. Yet change is coming, and if we are honest about it, we also know that change is necessary. In order to reach our community that is constantly bombarded with change, we need to adapt to meet our audience. To be clear, I am not saying we should attempt to change what the Bible says, I am suggesting we change how we choose to present it. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

10. Go To Church
Some studies show that the average church attender goes to church only once or twice a month. I know it's easy to get busy, but this is important. These are your friends, and your family, they need you. You are tasked together to share the greatest news ever told, the message of Jesus and His love for the world. So be there, and be there regularly. (Hebrews 10:25)

I hope this list has been helpful to you. Even more than that, I hope you choose to live these out. You may be great at 5 or 6 of them, but I believe each of us should strive to be great at all 10.