Get To Know Yourself

I remember a few years back, sitting down with my friend Dan in his living room talking about life. We have this thing where we talk about big complex ideas and how we can solve the world's problems.

Dan is a deep thinker, I like that about him.

Dan says, "You know, if people really cared about their friends and family they would talk to them about the blindspots they have in their life." Dan was referring to a familiar concept that many of us I am sure can relate to.

We all have friends or family that have that "thing" about them that everyone in the world knows they do, except them.

Maybe it's something silly like their nose whistles, or maybe it's a habitual problem of interrupting others. Regardless of what it is, everyone else notices, but the person doing it, has no idea they are.

Dan had a good point. Sure it's no fun to point out someone else's faults, but isn't it worse to say nothing?

I was pondering Dan's observation, and then my insecurity creeped in, so I asked Dan a question that I thought would help calm my fear.

"Do I have any blindspots?"

I fully expected Dan to say, "Of course not! You are so awesome, and as near to perfect as humanly possible!"

I was wrong.

Instead of that statement, Dan got kind of a serious look on his face and asked me, "Do you really want me to tell you?"

Of course I didn't want him to tell me, but I wasn't about to say that out loud. So I answered, "Yes of course I want to know." I think I even managed to produce a fake smile, like I was excited about it.

Dan began to point out an area of my life that was hurtful to others, and I was completely unaware.

He was right... that jerk.

Yet, as much as I didn't like hearing it that day, it gave me a chance to change something about myself that I didn't like, and others certainly didn't like as well.

Getting to know yourself is hard, and often times it isn't fun; but it is also really beneficial.

So please allow me to offer you two small pieces of advice.

First, stop and evaluate where you are and how you are living from time to time.

2 Corinthians 13:5 says "Examine yourself..." 

Anyone who fails to evaluate themselves, isn't growing like they should be.

Consider the tone in how you speak to others. Look at the quality of work that you do. How do you treat others? How do others respond when you walk into a room? How much of the conversations you are in are driven by you?

Get honest with yourself, and commit to grow.

Second, spend time around friends who love you enough to tell you the truth.

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Great friendships are the ones that help us grow.

So choose to be a great friend and help your friends grow too. The phrase "iron sharpens iron", implies that both people are being sharpened, both people are growing.

It's hard to hear about an area of your life that needs growth, but it is also hard to gain the nerve to talk to a friend about an area in their life that needs growth.

Commit to embracing both.

Growing isn't automatic it takes effort, and growing with the help of friends is way better.

So get to know yourself, and help your friends get know themselves too.