The Power of Real Friendship

I confess I have never been real great at building deep friendships. I am not sure if it's just the fear of being vulnerable with other people, or something else. Yet, the friendships I have kept over a long period of time, have added such value to my life.

With that said, my definition of friendship has changed drastically over the years. Most of my friendships early on were based off who I could have the most fun with, or who would join me in my crazy adventures.  

Growing up I had a small group of people I would call my close friends. Of that group, there is really only one that I would still consider a close friend. Not because I don't like the others, or we had some terrible falling out. 

Truth is, the reason why most of the other friendships faded, was I never took the time to develop those relationships into anything deeper than just a friendship of convenience. 

Real friends, and real friendships are powerful, and life changing. Friendship is a gift from God. The Old Testament story of David and Jonathan shows an amazing story of two friends who were so committed to each other, that even when the entire world seemed to push them apart, they still cared about each other, still encouraged each other, still told each other the truth. 

It's a scary thing to commit to stand with someone, no matter what. To choose to be there even when you're tired; to speak hard truths when you'd rather be silent; to forgive even when it really hurts. 

Yet, these are the friendships that truly help us grow. The friendships that carry us through the most difficult times. These friendships are truly powerful.

So allow me to encourage you with this thought, if you haven't put the effort into building some strong, lasting friendships, consider giving it a try. If you haven't allowed yourself to let your guard down long enough to let some real friends in, consider giving it a try.

Choose to be a real friend, and allow them to be a real friend to you. It is a gift from God, and it will change your life for the better.

Choosing Faith or Planning

Two common sayings I hear in the church are; "Don't over spiritualize everything" and "Don't under spiritualize everything." 

A situation or scenario presents itself, and you have to decide, whether or not it was a God moment, or perhaps the result of a late night fast food trip.

You may have experienced this, you're sitting there in church, in your seat on a Sunday morning, minding your own business, and out of nowhere there is a call to action. Maybe it's to give your time to a ministry that needs more volunteers; maybe it's to give money to a missionary or a ministry area in the church that needs financial support; or scariest of all, maybe it's a person you see, that you feel compelled to talk to. Whatever it is, it surprised you, and the idea of whether or not you are supposed to step out in that moment isn't completely clear. 

If you're anything like me, in those moments, I often begin to rationalize my response. "Well, I have never served in that area, so I probably wouldn't be much help to them." Or, "I didn't really budget this month to give anything so, it would be irresponsible to give right now." Or most commonly, "I don't really know that person, so it would be weird if I talked to them." 

Really, these moments come down to a choice to lean into one of two things. We can lean into our faith, or we can lean into our planning. I'm not saying there is  always a right answer; and it's hard to decipher at times whether the moment is a moment for faith, or a moment of compulsion when we need to stick to our planning. 

It is my belief, that the decision you make isn't necessarily the most important thing. The most important thing is where you turn in moments like this. Do you seek God to see what He has to say about it? Or do you take action or inaction based on some other outside circumstance.

Allow me to encourage you, stay present in those moments, lean into God and His voice, and if He asks you to step out, lean into your faith and obey Him. You will be so glad you did.  

Even When You're Tired

After a hard day, or at the end of a long week, there is a frequent temptation to sit, rest and put our feet up. Choosing to get some rest from time to time is a great decision.

But, if you put a bunch of days and weeks together where life is a series of evenings and weekends with your feet up, and you may find yourself falling very short of the existence you were called to live.

Life is meant to be cultivated and invested in.

Whether it is in your relationships as a parent, spouse, or friend. Or a gift you have been given that needs an investment of time to see the necessary improvement; we need to choose to grow.

 Many kids grow up feeling like their parents just existed in the same home as them, rather than feeling mentored and loved by them. Many spouses feel like they have someone they share a rent payment with, rather than a life long friend. Many potential success stories never come to fruition because they never cultivated their gift.

In Colossians 3:23,24 It says, "Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."

Our goal, is not good enough. The bar we set, is not just enough to get by. We are supposed to live in a way that honors God, in all aspects of our life.

There is a time to rest, and a time to relax; but consider as well, there is a great need to move forward and grow in your relationships and in your gifting, even when you're tired. 

Connected, But Not in Practice

As believers, most of us have friends who aren't faithful church goers, or followers of Jesus. In fact, I would venture to guess many of us have friends and family who are even antagonistic to the church. 

These are valuable and important relationships that we should not treat lightly. 

These relationships can become even more complicated, if you began your friendship before you began following Jesus. There is potentially a tension between you because of your life changes, attitude adjustments, and perhaps even a change in your language and demeanor.

Your friends might view these changes as self-righteous, judgmental, or even fake.

They knew you before, and so that adds a layer of complexity to whole situation.

So what do we do? 

The answer is be connected, but not in practice. God desires for us to be connected to people, so we can share His love, His message of invitation, and invite them to join in a journey with Jesus.

The thing is, you don't have to do this by compromising your choices and the conduct God has called you to live by. You can be connected and in relationship and pursue your relationship with Jesus.

Jesus was the ultimate example of living separate in conduct, and connected in relationship.

So be good to the people God has placed in your life. Live in a way that shows Jesus, and love people where they are.

So stay connected, but not necessarily by practicing the same things. The power of your life as a believer is your ability to love all people, all while choosing not to compromise your choice to live in a way that honors God.