Wait a Second Before That Yes or No

Have you ever signed up for something, or turned an opportunity down, only to later regret that decision?

Maybe you are the one who gets caught up in a conversation, and find yourself making a long term decision in a matter of seconds; or maybe you are the one who is so scared of doing something new, that you find yourself saying "no", and later wishing you would have said "yes".

You find yourself in a situation when someone asks if you can help, and it ends up being the day you were finally going to take a day off; or you agree to help with something at the church, even though you are already completely overwhelmed.

Maybe someone asks if you would like to go on a trip, and by the time you realize you would like to go, you already missed the opportunity; or you decline an offer to be a part of something, and end up watching from the outside wishing you would have chosen to be involved.

Regret is an ugly feeling.

Proverbs 13:15 says "Wise people think before they act; fools don't, and they even brag about it!"

To those of us who frequently rush into a "yes", this verse is especially hard to hear. Not only do we agree to do more than we should, we even brag about how busy we stay!

Many times these types of decisions can lead to feeling overwhelmed, and perhaps even feelings of anger or bitterness toward others because you are spread too thin.

God desires that we be a part of things, but not a part of everything!

Luke 14:16-20 says "A man once gave a great banquet and invited many. And at the time for the banquet he sent his servant to say to those who had been invited, 'Come, for everything is now ready.' But they all alike began to make excuses. The first said to him, 'I have bought a field, and I must go out and see it. Please have me excused.' And another said, 'I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I must go examine them. Please have me excused.' And another said, 'I have married a wife, and therefore I cannot come.'"

To those of us who frequently rush into a "no", pay close attention to this story.

This is a story Jesus tells to make a point about priorities. God has many great blessings available to us, and He desires for us to receive those blessings. Yet, we can become distracted or pulled away by our priorities or our fears.

The man in the story was wanting to bless his friends, but his friends missed the blessing, because of their excuses.

At times, we have an opportunity to be a part of something great, or to receive something great, but we miss it, because of our excuses.

The story concludes in verse 24 with this, "For I tell you, none of those men who were invited shall taste my banquet." 

Just because you can think of a reason not to, doesn't mean you shouldn't be a part. Sometimes our reason for a "no", is just a bad excuse.

Let me encourage you with this, when opportunity knocks, stop to think and pray about it. Take time to make your decision, and then make a great decision!

Keep in mind, if you are quick to a yes, or quick to a no, it may feel a little uncomfortable to consider the other option, but I believe you will be pleasantly surprised if you give it a try!

5 Things Your Pastor Wish You Knew

Here is a short list trying to simplify a complicated issue. I won't tell you that every Pastor agrees with this list, but I am sure many will!



1. We Need Your Help

No one is an island. Not even your Pastor.

It often seems in the church, that there is more to do, than there are people to do it.

Find ways to help and be involved.

Also keep this in mind, if you offer to help your Pastor, then ask them to "help you help" you are missing an opportunity to take something off their plate.

Sometimes the greatest blessing you can give your Pastor is to quietly accomplish something that needs to be done.


2. We Know Our Kids Aren't Perfect... And That's Okay

In many circles we hear the phrase PK's, "Pastor's Kids" for those who don't know, as a negative thing.

Perhaps this comes from Pastors putting too much time in at the church, and not enough time in at home. *Refer to #1

In addition to that, I think some of the rebellious things we see Pastor's kids do, is because of the pressure they feel to be perfect. Often times this pressure comes from people in the church.

An 8 year old is an 8 year old, regardless of what their parents do for a living.

So give your Pastor's kids grace to be kids. Your Pastor and the PK's will be better for it!


3. Sometimes We Don't Know The Answer

Amidst the constant questions of, "What does this verse mean?" or, "What should I do in this situation?" It is easy for your Pastor to become coerced into thinking they need to have all the answers.

So when your Pastor does tell you they don't know the answer, or they aren't sure what to do; don't look at them with terror in your eyes.

Leave room for your Pastor to be unsure.



4. We Want You To Ask Us How We Are Doing


You may be tired of hearing your Pastor ask, "How are you?"

Chances are, your Pastor isn't tired of you asking them!

Ministry can feel pretty one sided. Your Pastor loves you, and cares about you, and wants to know how you are doing.

Your Pastor would also like to know that you love them, care about them, and want to know how they are doing.



5. We Also Have 24 Hours In Our Day

In order to last in full time ministry for any length of time, you need to love people, and love helping people.

That can lead to a pretty full plate.

Your Pastor's desire to help, and the church's need for help often leads to your Pastor feeling spread thin.

I know you are just asking for 30 minutes, or you only call in the evenings once or twice a month, but if you and 50 other people are doing that... well, do the math.

Remember your Pastor has a job, a family, friends, (maybe) and in some extreme cases, they may even have a hobby outside the church.


 I hope you find this list helpful, but remember don't just read this list, find ways to apply what you learned!

If you are a Pastor, Pastor's Spouse, or PK, I would love to know if you agree with these, or what you would add to the list!

Showing Grace and Mercy

I love social media. I love that it allows me to stay connected to people in some form, even though there may be miles and miles separating us. I love how I get to see kids who were in my youth group 15 years ago now raising their own families.

I could do without the moment to moment updates some people post about what they are eating; and I would be a happy guy if I never received another game invite. Yet, the good of this virtual social connection, in my mind, outweighs the bad.

One thing I have noticed while reading people's posts, tweets, or comments, is the misuse of words.

Some words are misused so frequently, the correct meaning is lost.

When people post things like, "I literally cried my eyes out!" It makes me chuckle, because if someone's eyes literally went swimming out of their head on a waterfall of tears, I doubt they would stop to post about it online.

I believe this same word-plague applies to the church. We have misused some words so frequently, we have forgotten their meaning.

I want to focus on a couple words that I believe have been misunderstood, or misused.

Here are the two words, along with my favorite definitions of them.

Grace: Getting what we don't deserve.
Even though I don't deserve God's love, He gives it to me freely. 

Mercy: Not getting what we do deserve.
Even though I deserve separation from God because of my mistakes, God instead, chooses to draw me close to Him. 

These two words are vital to our understanding of God, and His thoughts and love toward us.

I imagine I am not alone in my struggle to understand and receive Grace and Mercy from God.

Yet, receiving Grace and Mercy is not the end of the conversation. Not only do we need to accept what God offers us, we also need to extend that same Grace and Mercy to others.

In Colossians 3:13 it speaks toward our need to extend Grace to each other. "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." We are to extend grace through our forgiveness and attitudes toward each other.

In Matthew 5:7 Jesus speaks of the need for us to show Mercy. He explains that showing Mercy is the appropriate response for one who has received Mercy. "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."

Now the fun part, let's apply this to our own lives.

What if someone hurt you, or let you down?

Grace says forgive them freely.
Mercy says to hold back your anger and desire to retaliate.

You may respond with, "They don't deserve my forgiveness; or they hurt me first, so I have every right to be angry and hurt them back!" To that I respond with, "You are right."

That is the point.

We should not say, "I am showing Grace, but I just can't forgive them." or "I am offering Mercy, but I am not letting this go."

Even though they don't deserve your forgiveness, even though you have a right to respond with anger; Grace applied offers forgiveness instead, and Mercy applied subdues anger and replaces it with love.

I know it's hard, trust me, I know.

The good news is, God isn't asking us to do it on our own. Grace and Mercy come from God, they are gifts He gives us. We don't need to conjure up Grace and Mercy, we only need to receive them from God, and choose to apply them.

So let me challenge you, as you walk through your week...

Choose to literally show Grace and Mercy to others!