Even When You Can't Tell If He's There

Most of my kids are old enough to ride bikes now, and each of them learned at different paces. Some seemed to just wake up one day with the ability to ride a bike, while others took some coaching and some help. 

One of my sons was capable of riding his bike pretty quickly, but would not attempt to ride without me running along side his bike, while holding his seat. If he even suspected that I had let go, he would stop, put his foot down and scold me for putting his life in danger. 

I don't remember exactly how long it was before he tried on his own, but it was a while. For days we would go out, I would run, and he would ride. 

He was certain he wasn't ready, or able to do it on his own; I was certain he was more than capable, and just needed to have some faith in himself. 

I think that's a bit how our relationship with God goes. 

We are faced with a challenge, that we will not attempt to do on our own, unless we are sure God, or someone else is standing right there making sure we don't fall. 

This has certainly been true in my life. In fact that was true as recently as this morning. I woke up today considering a circumstance I am facing, convinced I couldn't do it on my own. I wasn't even sure where to start. 

Then this picture came to mind. My son was convinced it was impossible for him to ride a bike. That there was something uniquely different about him, that would not allow him to ever learn to ride a bike. 

I knew he could, I knew he was so much more capable than he understood. 

More than all of that, the worst that could happen, was he could attempt to ride his bike, and fall. Yes, it would hurt, and yes it might even be embarrassing; but he would get back up, and I would be right there to help him.

I want to encourage you to consider this idea with whatever challenges you may be facing right now. You may be convinced there is no way you can face this on your own. You may be certain that if you try, you will certainly fail. 

First, you are far more capable, and far more gifted than you know. Second, God is right there. He is close by cheering you on, confident in you accomplishing more than you dare to dream for yourself; and even if you do fall along the way, He will be there to help you back up. 

Life can come at us in waves. Some of those waves seem impossible to face. I want to encourage you to accept that there is more in you than you know, and God is with you, even when you can't tell if He is. 

 

If That's Not Healthy, Nothing Is

One of the biggest shocks I experienced in my adult life, was the day I realized it wasn't my wife's job to make me happy, or to convince me everything will be okay, or to make me feel good about myself.

It caught me totally off guard and it was pretty tough for me to deal with.

If this is the first time you've heard this, or this idea comes as a shock to you, send me an email, I will talk you through the grieving process. Trust me, I feel your pain.

The bad news is, this is true for all of us. There is no person that carries the responsibility for our happiness and feelings of contentment.

The good news is, that doesn't mean we are alone in our pursuit of peace and joy.

The One who is meant to help us find peace in who we are, and to find joy in difficult seasons, is Jesus.

No one else can do that for us, but Him.

Unfortunately many of us search for relationships to fix these God-sized problems, and we find ourselves constantly disappointed. Or we put the pressure and weight of these issues on people who care about us, and again we find ourselves disappointed, and they find themselves overwhelmed.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

You ever feel weary or burdened? Yeah, me too.

Could you use some rest for your soul? I'm right there with you.

Jesus invites us to come to Him, to learn from Him, and in return He offers to teach us, to give us a lighter load, and rest.

So if you've been struggling in your relationships, or struggling with feelings of weight and weariness; come to Jesus. Focus on your relationship with Him, listen to what He says about you. Get that relationship close, and in good shape.

Truth is, if your relationship with Jesus isn't healthy, none of your others will be either.

The Value of Being Wrong

Like most people, I hate being wrong. I especially hate being wrong when I was almost certain I was right, or when it comes out of nowhere.

Today I had a really great conversation with a friend. It started out as just a normal conversation. We talked about life, told stories, shared experiences; and both of us allowed each other to ask deeper questions, and to speak to some pretty sensitive issues.

It was half scary, and half really enjoyable.

Through our conversation my friend began to see a pattern in some of my story that shined light on some areas that I had not seen before.

He chose to do something that was pretty daring.

Rather than letting it go, or avoiding a potentially uncomfortable conversation, he pointed it out to me. Not in a mean or judgmental way, he shared it carefully and in a kind manner.

I would love to tell you, when he presented it, I embraced it with a smile, and thanked him for his honesty. Instead, I met it with a little bit of defensiveness, and hesitancy.

I would like a little bit of credit that I did eventually come around though...

I love this passage Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying my friend "wounded" me. I am saying he had a conversation that wasn't flowery or complimentary, and I guess if there was any wounds, it was to my ego.

The part I want you to see is, this conversation was an example of kindness and love.

I want to encourage you, be in relationship with people who care enough about you to tell you the truth. Don't just surround yourself with people that only say what makes you feel good.

In the end, these types of honest conversations are what help us to grow, and move us forward.

It may sting, but it is so worth it!

Different But Still Really Awesome

Today, I had the privilege of subbing in the afternoon for the Middle School History class at ECS. ECS is a private school that is an extension of our church.

I had lunch with all the Middle Schoolers, and then sat with the students afterward in their class as they worked on their projects.

I don't remember a lot about Middle School, but what I do remember is how insecure I was, and how terrified I was of someone not liking me, or pointing out something about me that I didn't like.

As I see these students I see a wide variety of personalities, temperaments, and talents. They are so different, but they are all so awesome.

The kids who keep trying to talk to me about anything other than class work are pretty hilarious and will make tremendous business leaders. The students who are coming up with impossibly complex ideas for their group project will be great inventors and creative minds. The ones who are constantly asking the class to quiet down, and reminding the students in their group to stay on topic, are showing strong signs of leadership. The ones who are taking the assignment very seriously no doubt have bright scholastic futures in front of them.

Since I am a Dad of kids this age, or close to it, it is easy for me to see the promise and bright future in these kids. I am far enough removed from this stage in life, that I can see the eventual product of the young men and women they will become.

I can't help but wonder if this is how God sees all of us. We can get so focused on our imperfections and differences today that we don't see the creation we are becoming, or the beauty of the journey we are on now. We are keenly aware of our weaknesses, and the weaknesses of those around us.

If we could just step back far enough to see the process we are in, and the growth we are experiencing we might get a glimpse into how God sees us. Not as perfect, or complete, but as awesome, and in process!

Their Responsibility or Mine?

Do you ever worry that someone you love, will one day cease to love you back? Do you ever question whether your best friend, wants to stay your best friend? Does your mind race with doubt of whether the person you look up to, thinks you have what it takes?

I am sure all of us, on more than one occasion, has doubted that our loved ones will love us always. Part of the reason why we doubt, is we have experienced hurt or heart ache more than once; so it's easy to believe it will happen again.

The real question we need to ask ourselves, is what do we do when those types of thoughts come rushing in?

Often times our knee jerk reaction is to simply ask the people around us, "Do you still love me?" "Will you always be my friend?" "Do you think I have what it takes?"

Seems like an easy, nice and tidy fix.

The problem is, when we deal with feelings in this way only, we are putting the pressure to resolve our feelings on someone else. Most of the time, it is our own responsibility to work through those thoughts and feelings with God.

If I feel insecure, it is not my wife's or my friend's job to encourage that insecurity out of me. If I feel unsure of someone's respect for me, it is not their job to constantly remind me they respect me until I am no longer unsure.

Often times, the negative thoughts or feelings we are experiencing in our relationships are a reflection of something in us that needs to change.

If you find yourself constantly wondering if your friends and family value who you are, take a moment and process that with God, in light of His Word.

In Matthew 10, Jesus is talking to the disciples about how to deal with their fear of persecution. He reminds the disciples that not even a bird falls out of the sky dead, without God knowing about it. So if God is that concerned and attentive to the birds of the air, how much more is His mind toward us, the pride of His creation?

Matthew 10:31 "Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

To put it plainly, you are incredibly valuable. When you don't feel valuable, you're wrong... you are valuable. If your friends or family treat you like you have no value... they are wrong to do so, you are valuable.

This may seem like a over simplified approach, but I encourage you to try it. When your mind gets stuck on one of those ugly thoughts, and you begin to reach out to ask someone else to put your mind at ease; pause first, take it to God, and see what He says about the issue.

I believe you will find, that not only will God help you through that one moment, He will help you avoid future moments like that one. He will remove the root of your doubt or fear, so those types of thoughts no longer return.