More Than Knowing

Have you ever been getting ready in the morning, or laying your head on the pillow at night, and seemingly out of nowhere a voice of accusation comes to mind? You're brushing your teeth, thinking about all the things you need to do that day and this thought pops into your mind, "you're never going to amount to anything" or "no one really cares about you, they're just pretending." It takes the wind right out of your sails, it can even send you into a downward spiral for the rest of the day.

I have had many of these types of moments in my life, and over the last few years, I feel like I've been getting better at recognizing them for what they are, a distraction, and a lie. What I feel like God has been talking to me about this week though, is something I had never really considered, it has helped me so much, and I hope it helps you too.

When these thoughts come to mind, the best thing for us to do, is call them just what they are. They are a distraction, they are a lie, and to put it plainly, they are an attack. 1 Peter 5:8 says, Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. A harsh reality is, we have an enemy, and he doesn't fight fair. He waits for our guard to be down, and he knows just what kind of stuff will get our attention in all the wrong ways. So when we these distractions and attacks come, treat them with the time and respect they deserve... none.

This is the part I've been getting better at. When the voice comes, I don't accept it as truth, I don't dwell on it as important, I brush it to the side. If you haven't been able to do that yet, I encourage you, start taking these moments head on. Sometimes I even say it out loud, "that's a lie, many people love me. They prove it all the time with their words and actions." I will even reflect on moments of truth, moments of reality in my recent days and weeks that prove the accusation is a lie.

This is all great and good, but there is one more step that I am learning to try this week, and it's been awesome. I hope you find it as life changing as I have.

Even on days when I've done "well" in those moments, the truth is, the rest of the day I walk around with my head down a little. My perspective of myself is a little lower, and my tendency to believe an accusation or to take a criticism a little too seriously is way out of balance.

So here is the second part to fighting off these thoughts... walk through your day confident that this lie is simply a lie. Maybe a better way to put is, when these things are whispered to you, don't let any of it get on you! If it's a lie, then there is no reason to accept or receive any of it into your thoughts or perspective that day. Be aware of your conversations, be diligent to protect your thought life that day. This second part is where the real victory is found.

So if you've been fighting some mental battles, if you've been trying to shrug off some accusations, call them just what they are, a lie and a distraction. Then spend the rest of your day walking with confidence, not letting any of that garbage to get on you!

If That's Not Healthy, Nothing Is

One of the biggest shocks I experienced in my adult life, was the day I realized it wasn't my wife's job to make me happy, or to convince me everything will be okay, or to make me feel good about myself.

It caught me totally off guard and it was pretty tough for me to deal with.

If this is the first time you've heard this, or this idea comes as a shock to you, send me an email, I will talk you through the grieving process. Trust me, I feel your pain.

The bad news is, this is true for all of us. There is no person that carries the responsibility for our happiness and feelings of contentment.

The good news is, that doesn't mean we are alone in our pursuit of peace and joy.

The One who is meant to help us find peace in who we are, and to find joy in difficult seasons, is Jesus.

No one else can do that for us, but Him.

Unfortunately many of us search for relationships to fix these God-sized problems, and we find ourselves constantly disappointed. Or we put the pressure and weight of these issues on people who care about us, and again we find ourselves disappointed, and they find themselves overwhelmed.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

You ever feel weary or burdened? Yeah, me too.

Could you use some rest for your soul? I'm right there with you.

Jesus invites us to come to Him, to learn from Him, and in return He offers to teach us, to give us a lighter load, and rest.

So if you've been struggling in your relationships, or struggling with feelings of weight and weariness; come to Jesus. Focus on your relationship with Him, listen to what He says about you. Get that relationship close, and in good shape.

Truth is, if your relationship with Jesus isn't healthy, none of your others will be either.

Different But Still Really Awesome

Today, I had the privilege of subbing in the afternoon for the Middle School History class at ECS. ECS is a private school that is an extension of our church.

I had lunch with all the Middle Schoolers, and then sat with the students afterward in their class as they worked on their projects.

I don't remember a lot about Middle School, but what I do remember is how insecure I was, and how terrified I was of someone not liking me, or pointing out something about me that I didn't like.

As I see these students I see a wide variety of personalities, temperaments, and talents. They are so different, but they are all so awesome.

The kids who keep trying to talk to me about anything other than class work are pretty hilarious and will make tremendous business leaders. The students who are coming up with impossibly complex ideas for their group project will be great inventors and creative minds. The ones who are constantly asking the class to quiet down, and reminding the students in their group to stay on topic, are showing strong signs of leadership. The ones who are taking the assignment very seriously no doubt have bright scholastic futures in front of them.

Since I am a Dad of kids this age, or close to it, it is easy for me to see the promise and bright future in these kids. I am far enough removed from this stage in life, that I can see the eventual product of the young men and women they will become.

I can't help but wonder if this is how God sees all of us. We can get so focused on our imperfections and differences today that we don't see the creation we are becoming, or the beauty of the journey we are on now. We are keenly aware of our weaknesses, and the weaknesses of those around us.

If we could just step back far enough to see the process we are in, and the growth we are experiencing we might get a glimpse into how God sees us. Not as perfect, or complete, but as awesome, and in process!

Their Responsibility or Mine?

Do you ever worry that someone you love, will one day cease to love you back? Do you ever question whether your best friend, wants to stay your best friend? Does your mind race with doubt of whether the person you look up to, thinks you have what it takes?

I am sure all of us, on more than one occasion, has doubted that our loved ones will love us always. Part of the reason why we doubt, is we have experienced hurt or heart ache more than once; so it's easy to believe it will happen again.

The real question we need to ask ourselves, is what do we do when those types of thoughts come rushing in?

Often times our knee jerk reaction is to simply ask the people around us, "Do you still love me?" "Will you always be my friend?" "Do you think I have what it takes?"

Seems like an easy, nice and tidy fix.

The problem is, when we deal with feelings in this way only, we are putting the pressure to resolve our feelings on someone else. Most of the time, it is our own responsibility to work through those thoughts and feelings with God.

If I feel insecure, it is not my wife's or my friend's job to encourage that insecurity out of me. If I feel unsure of someone's respect for me, it is not their job to constantly remind me they respect me until I am no longer unsure.

Often times, the negative thoughts or feelings we are experiencing in our relationships are a reflection of something in us that needs to change.

If you find yourself constantly wondering if your friends and family value who you are, take a moment and process that with God, in light of His Word.

In Matthew 10, Jesus is talking to the disciples about how to deal with their fear of persecution. He reminds the disciples that not even a bird falls out of the sky dead, without God knowing about it. So if God is that concerned and attentive to the birds of the air, how much more is His mind toward us, the pride of His creation?

Matthew 10:31 "Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

To put it plainly, you are incredibly valuable. When you don't feel valuable, you're wrong... you are valuable. If your friends or family treat you like you have no value... they are wrong to do so, you are valuable.

This may seem like a over simplified approach, but I encourage you to try it. When your mind gets stuck on one of those ugly thoughts, and you begin to reach out to ask someone else to put your mind at ease; pause first, take it to God, and see what He says about the issue.

I believe you will find, that not only will God help you through that one moment, He will help you avoid future moments like that one. He will remove the root of your doubt or fear, so those types of thoughts no longer return.

Goals For the New Year

The New Year is here, and I've been thinking about how I want to approach 2016. I've always been goal setter, but maybe not in the traditional sense. For me, the new year is an opportunity to examine how I've been prioritizing, and make some adjustments along the way.

Before you think about turning away, I promise, this is not a "Exercise 3 times a week" list.

Okay, here is the list of things I am going to be focusing on in 2016.

1. Plan Vacations: Before you brush off this comment, I don't mean, take a couple trips, one to Disneyland, and one to Hawaii. That isn't my reality either. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be planning vacations. Maybe there are some friends, or family members you've been meaning to go visit. Take the time off, drive over and see them. Make some plans to check out the local sites, make a big deal of it. I've got some people in mind I'd like to see, and a couple cool camping trips in the works; a vacation is a vacation.

2. Planned Activities with my Kids: At the end of a long week, it's easy to simply live together, rather than taking time to do a family movie night, or playing a board game together. A weekend that just rolls by has far less a positive impact than a weekend where you plan at least one thing to do together. I personally love doing a big Saturday morning breakfast for the family. Play a game at table, have the kids help out. It's messy, but there are lots of laughs.

3. Go on Dates with My Wife: Having kids takes a lot of our time and energy, and even when people offer to watch kids, sometimes it's difficult to muster up the energy to get out do something. Every marriage needs time just the two of you alone, and it's even better if you can do something facing each other. Sitting quietly in a dark movie theater isn't exactly a great relationship building experience. Go to dinner, even do something out of the ordinary, check out a local band playing, go bowling. Just do something together, alone.

4. Read: If you wouldn't call yourself a reader, then don't try to bite off more than you can chew. Start off by reading a couple blogs each week. Take a few minutes to read an interesting article. Start there, and work your way up. You don't have to agree with everything you read, or soak it all up as truth; it will help sharpen your mind, and engage your imagination.

5. Trust Others: I am the last person to tell anyone how to do this. I just know I really struggle to trust people. I tend to question whether people are being honest, if they really care about me, and what their hidden motivation might be. This type of thinking is insulting to others, and it puts the breaks on any potential friendship you may have the opportunity to develop.

6. Do What I Feel is Right, No Matter What: What I specifically mean here is, don't wait for others to take the first step, or to approve of my action before making a move. I find myself weighing way too many of my decisions on what others seem to be doing. If I know I need to show kindness to someone else, I'm not going to wait for the other person to make the first step toward me.

7. Forgive Quickly: Forgiveness is hard to live out. Quick forgiveness is even harder, in fact it feels impossible at times. I guess the realization I'm coming to is, I know God wants me to forgive others eventually. So by waiting to forgive, all I'm doing is holding on to something I know I'll eventually let go of, so why wait? You are going to need people to forgive you this year, so forgive others... And do it fast. 

8. Smaller Portions, More Exercise: I promise this is my only diet and exercise goal. This is something that is both important to me, and incredibly hard for me to be consistent on. So I'm setting a goal I know I can knock out of the park. When I order food, make myself a plate etc, I'm going to eat less. When I'm 80% finished with my meal, I'm going to stop eating. I have a gym membership, so I'm going to use it consistently, if that means once a week to start with, then that's where I'll start. 

9. Stop to Celebrate: This one I really need to work on. I am such a big picture person, I am constantly thinking about what needs to be tackled down the road. With that comes the mistake of never celebrating what gets done. This is a really bad habit especially if you are leading teams. I need to stop and celebrate the finish lines we cross, the projects we wrap up, and the goals we achieve.

10. Mentor people, Be Mentored: If you're like me, it's difficult to imagine yourself a mentor. We are so aware of what we don't know, it's hard to imagine we know enough to help anyone else. Truth is, there is always someone who could benefit from spending time with you. So find someone who is a similar path to you, and a few years behind. Take them to coffee, ask lots of questions, and be the worlds greatest encourager. Then every once in a while, if needed, offer advice. As for being mentored, ask someone who you would like to learn from to spend time with them. Show up with great questions, be really transparent and honest, and apply what they suggest you try.

This is my list, what did I forget? What would you add or take off of your list?

An Idea That Would Change Everything

I want to talk to you about an issue that is really important to me, but some would label it as controversial.

I grew up in a medium sized middle class American town. I was surrounded by people that I would describe, and I know others would too, as good willed people, that love God and love others.

I say that to explain, I believe I grew up in a culture, that is similar to many Christian Americans.

Alright, here is the context of conversation I want to have with you today...

I grew up believing that women were less important, less valuable, and less capable than men.

Notice I did not say, "much less", but the amount of less, simply doesn't matter.

I have come to realize how wrong I was in this belief.

There are so many directions this conversation can go from here, and many of those conversations are well worth having. However, I would like to focus in on one particular idea that I am especially passionate about.

Here is my big idea.

If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.

It makes me sad when I hear people equate the Bible, or God's thoughts toward women as chauvinistic. I'm not arguing there weren't people in the Bible who were that way. The Old and New Testament are full of them, fact is, that way of thinking is still prevalent today, but that doesn't mean that is God's opinion.

Let me explain what I mean.

The first book and first chapter of the Bible, we find this verse. Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them." God created man and woman in His image. That means, the most accurate picture we can see of God, is found in the combination of both man and woman.

In the very next verse we see this. Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'" 

God blessed both of them, and said to both of them, "I have a plan for you, multiply and take possession of the land."

God had a plan for men and women from the beginning.

Yet the unfortunate reality was, sin entered into the picture.

The result of sin, caused two types of division. Division between mankind and God, and division between men and women. More specifically, that division manifested as men ruling over women.

Since that time, God has been revealing his plan, and actively working to restore that division.

Why is it that people are excited about bridging the gap of separation between mankind and God, but they haven't considered the idea of healing the division between men and women?

Was one part of the curse meant to be restored to the original design, (mankind back in right relationship with God) and the other part of the curse was meant to be blessed? (men ruling over women)

The most quoted passage of Scripture speaks to the restoring of mankind to God. Certainly that is God's heart.

John 3:16,17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

God's Word also speaks to restoring right relationship between men and women, along with all sorts of other types of division we have created.

Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

I believe God wants to restore our relationship with Him, and I believe God wants to restore the relationship between man and woman.

Now you may be reading this, and your mind is going to verses like Ephesians 5:23 Where it says, "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. " If that's you, I get it. My mind has gone there too. I applaud you for considering all of Scripture, and not wanting to build an idea on just one passage.

I ask that you stick with that same line of thinking, because as we talk through all of this, I want you to consider the bigger message that all Scripture communicates when looking at this passage and others like it.

Is this passage in Ephesians (and I encourage you to read the whole chapter) emphasizing an idea that men are more important or more valuable than women? Is it stating that men have greater capability, so God needs them to rule over women?

Or is this passage instructing men to love and lead their family like Jesus loves and leads the church?

I believe the second option to be true. So how does Jesus lead? He leads with sacrifice, grace, patience and selflessness.

This passage, especially in partnership with verse 25, is emphasizing the power of a godly man's sacrificial leadership of his family. This type of living is equated to how Christ loves the church, that is such an honor.

This passage is all about empowering men to lead like Jesus, that type of leadership is defined and modeled by Jesus through putting others first.

I don't believe this passage has anything to do with men ruling over women, nor is it asserting an idea that men are more valuable or capable than women.

I believe many of the passages people use to argue God's desire for men to rule over women, are tangled up due to an assumption about God's heart toward women, that simply isn't true.

I love dialogue, and I hope to have a lot regarding this topic, and I truly am interested in hearing your thoughts. But first please allow me to ask of you, one small favor.

As you are looking over those passages, I would like you to first say this simple statement to yourself, "God revealed His character and likeness through both men and women; in addition to that, God has always had a great plan for both men and women."

I believe, when we start with the assumption that God loves men and women equally, values them equally, and wants to bless them equally, we read Scripture with a better frame of mind.

I am not making the argument that men and women are the same, I think it's pretty obvious that men and women are different. You know who else is different? Men and men, and so are women and women. All people are different.

Treasa and I are indeed very different, but most of our differences aren't easily categorized as male or female. Treasa is far more bold than I am, I am much more sensitive to people's tone of voice, and their choice of words. These are not feminine, or masculine traits, they are human traits.

The fact that we are different, doesn't make one of us more important or valuable than the other.

Men and Women may be different, but God doesn't love them differently. He loves all of us completely.

Men and Women may be different, but the plans He has for us are the same. His plans for each of us are supernatural, they shape who we become, they change the culture around us, they reach out to the furthest parts of the world.

God may have given us different gifts, and the journey He has planned for us, is just as unique as we are. But His plans for all of us, men and women alike, are great.

Let's bring this back to my original thought. If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.

Picture this with me.

Imagine a world, where men and women alike, are fully convinced that God wants to use them in supernatural ways to change and impact the lives of others.

Imagine a world where godly men are energized and encouraged by the leadership and innovation of godly women.

Imagine a world where godly women never pause in fear of what godly men will think, as they choose to step out in faith following God's plan for them.

I believe that ultimately, change like this starts with an understanding that this is God's plan. That this was His plan from the beginning.

That's the world I want to live in. It's also the world I want my daughters and sons to live in.

So let's do our part to dispel the lie, that women are less important, less valuable, and less capable than men. Instead, let's remember God's original design.

Let me close with this. The most oppressed people group in all of history is women. It was true a couple thousand years ago, and it's still true today. How drastically different will this world look, when this pattern of oppression is broken?

I bet there isn't a single thought that scares the enemy more than that one.



Tell me what you think. Does any of this strike a chord with you? Share your thoughts and stories, I would love to hear them.

Ups and Downs

I remember the first time I read about Elijah's story in 1 Kings 18 and 19 in the Old Testament. I was so blown away by what happened.

I was captivated by his ability to stand up and speak of his faith in God, even when he was surrounded by hundreds of people who passionately disagreed. My mind spun at the miracle that God accomplished of sending down fire to consume the altar and the sacrifice. 

If you haven't read 1 Kings 18, you should stop right now and read it. Click here to check it out online if you don't have a Bible with you. Start in verse 20. 

This part of the story was amazing to me. There is so much there to chew on, to consider, and to think about.

But this wasn't the part of the story that got my attention. It was the first part of the next chapter, chapter 19. 

After all these amazing things, after the miracles and everything, Elijah heard someone was angry with him, and was coming after him; so he ran and hid. 

The guy who just saw God send down fire from heaven, the guy who just stood in faith in front of a massive crowd, trusting God to do something amazing, ran and hid. 

More than that, after he ran and hid, he sat under a bush and wished he was dead. 

I was amazed at this part of the story. I think I was mostly captivated, because I completely related. 

I have always found it disturbingly easy to go from feeling on top of the world, to unsure the sun will ever shine again. Maybe some of you have felt the same way? 

Consider this though, the God who was faithful and there with Elijah in Chapter 18, was still with Elijah in Chapter 19. 

The support, power, and love that God had available to Elijah hadn't changed. What changed was Elijah's focus. He was no longer looking to God, he was looking at his circumstance. 

In the same way, we can become discouraged or disheartened when we look only at the circumstances around us, instead of to the God who is for us, the God who provides for us, the God who loves us.

So let me encourage you with this thought, instead of being driven by the circumstance of your day, good or bad, focus on the God who never changes, never forgets, and never leaves. When our eyes are fixed on Him, regardless of the challenge, we can stand confident and assured of Gods ability to take care of all that we need.

Keep your eyes on Him!

Honor Where Honor is Due

This Memorial Day Weekend was an important weekend, and an emotional one too. 

Memories of my close friends from my days in the Army who died flood my mind and my heart. Most memories are of moments filled with laughter during a quick weekend get away, or a BBQ at Treasa and my apartment. Thoughts of my friends flood my mind. I think about the dreams they shared, their families, and all that made them uniquely them. 

It is a strange thing to accept that they are no longer around.  

Yet, it is the depth of our relationship with these people, and the many men and women who gave their lives in service to our great country that makes Memorial Day so important. They were so much more than a number. They were so much more than a random military member. They were Dads, Moms, Sons, Daughters, Brothers, Sisters... they were our friends. 

When we use the word honor, it really has two meanings. One is the honor we show, we give esteem and respect that is deserved; but there is also the honor that we keep to a deal or an agreement. We honor the promise that we made. 

Both versions of honor are appropriate on Memorial Day. We need to give the honor and respect, that these men and women so plainly deserve. We need also need to honor our part of the deal following their sacrifice. We will not forget, we will not let their memory fade away. We will not allow their sacrifice to lose its wonder. 

So we honor you heroes, we honor you military service members, we honor you friends.

I Just Want To Know What Is Next

Sometimes I get frustrated that God doesn't take the time to tell me what is coming next in life.

I would like to know if I am walking into a season of good things, a season of hard work, or a season of rest.

I would also like to know what my future looks like. Do each of my kids grow up to be Doctors? Do I travel the world? Do I achieve all the dreams I have stirring in my heart? Do Treasa and I retire in a beautiful home on the ocean, living out the end of our life, spoiling grandkids and great grandkids, celebrating all God has done?

If I am honest, I really hate not knowing what happens. It stresses me out.

Treasa doesn't like watching suspenseful movies with me because I have to fast forward during intense scenes in order to see how it works out. Then I rewind back to where it was, and watch with peace, knowing how it ends.

For the record, because I love my wife, sometimes I just go to the spoiler websites and research how it plays out so she doesn't have to endure the constant starting and stopping of the movie.

I want to know what is coming. I don't expect it to be perfect or easy, but I want to know what is next.

So again, back to my frustration with God's refusal to reveal my entire future to me...

There have been a few times in my life, where God has pulled back the curtain of my future and allowed me to see a glimpse of what is to come. He shows me a picture, through a dream, through time in prayer, or during worship. A picture of some moment, some event somewhere in my days and years to come.

You would think that my response would be gratitude and appreciation for His answering my prayer; however, my response looks a lot more like panic than thanksgiving.

When God reveals even the smallest of pictures of what is ahead of me, I panic and begin to worry.

"How am I supposed to get from where I am to there God?" "How could I be a part of something like that?"

Truth is, my future is too much for me to handle. It is impossible for me to understand, or grasp.

If you are like me, and want to know what's coming, I completely understand how you feel.

Let me offer you a perspective that has helped me.

The things God wants to do in your life down the road, are more than you can handle today. The work God wants to accomplish through you, is more difficult than what you could accomplish today. The way God wants to use your gifts and talents ten or twenty years from now is a stretch for you to believe today.

Take heart my friend, you don't need to be ready today. You will be ready when that season comes.

I am working at living with this new perspective.

I may not know what my future holds, and all that God will place before me; but He knows.

I may not know how to prepare myself for the seasons that I will walk through years from now, but God knows exactly what I will need.

So instead of worrying about what is coming, I am choosing to stay focused on what is in front of me today.

I believe with all of my heart, that if I put my hands to the work in front of me, if I give my best effort today, and if I pour my heart into the people around me today, I will be ready for tomorrow.

If I trust God with my today, and live faithfully with the tasks before me today, God will work through those tasks to prepare me for tomorrow.

If I stack enough todays together, I will have all the preparation and experience for that someday I have been worried about.

In Matthew 25:14-30 we find a story that Jesus told to teach a few principles.

In the story, there is a rich man who goes on a journey, and leaves some money behind with three of his employees. To one he gives five bags of talents, to one he gives two bags, and to the third he gives one bag.

When the rich man is gone, the first two men, the ones with five and two bags, went and invested the money wisely. They both doubled what they had.

When the rich man returned he was pleased with both of them, and gave each of them even more.

The third man however, did nothing with his bag, he simply buried it and waited for the rich mans return.

The rich man told the man with one bag, that he was wicked and lazy. He then took the one bag he had been given, and gave it to the man who had doubled the five bags.

It is a great story, you should go read it.

Like the men in this story, we have a choice. We can do something with what is in front of us, we can do something with what we have been given. Or we can become paralyzed with fear, not knowing what to do, or what will happen, and simply bury our talents, bury what we have been given.

Like me, you have to accept that you will never know all that life will bring. That's okay, if we did know it would just stress us out anyway.

So let's pour into what is in front of us today. Let's give all our all to the tasks in front of us today, offering the talents we have now, and trust that God will prepare us for tomorrow.

Filling the Gap Between Potential and Success

There are two perspectives I have encountered when talking with people about their observation of other's success or talents. It breaks my heart when I hear either one.

They sound something like this.

"It's not fair, it just seems like they can do anything, and they don't even have to try. Everything in life just goes their way."

or

"I wish I could do things like them. They are so good at so many different things, but I'm not good at anything."

They look at others, and perceive an unfairness of gifts, talents, or success. It is as if God or the Universe loved the one person and thought little of the other.

Before we go any further in this discussion, it needs to be said, there are some people who are just more naturally gifted than others. They learn easier, find success more often, and have a greater number of talents.

That has always been true, and it will always be true.

Please hear me when I say, don't get stuck there.

That doesn't mean only some people have gifts, intelligence, and luck. Everyone has these things, some people just have more.

You can't change that, and neither can I. So let's not waste our time there.

Instead, allow me to share some good news with you.

All of us are given a measure of potential. Every single one of us.

The problem is, many people never do anything with that potential.

I heard it described this way, "Many of us have been given hundreds of acres of potential, but we only cultivate the soil of half an acre."

Unfortunately, many people stop where they are, never trying for more, never moving past what is comfortable and easy. They use the excuse, "I will never be like them, so why try?"

It is easy to get stuck on what is typical and allow that to validate our stance of non-effort. Statistics say, that if my parents didn't graduate from college, I am less likely to graduate from college.

If my parents didn't make it, I won't either, so why try?

Well, my parents didn't graduate from college, but my sister is an RN. Why? She chose to till the ground of potential she was given, and now she is reaping the harvest!

You may not see much now, you may not see where this potential can take you, but please don't stay where you are, on the off chance it does not work out.

If you chose to till the ground of potential you can see now, you will find that you have even more than you knew.

When I graduated from High School, I was certain that college, success, or promise would never happen for me. I wasn't a good student, I wasn't very bright, and I didn't see any gifts I had that could be translated to the real world.

I left High School not expecting much, and I lived a couple years with that lack of expectation.

Finally I came into a season where I thought, I may fall flat on my face, but I have to at least try to be more, to do more than this.

It was a scary place to stand. I felt like I was standing on a cliffs edge. I felt like I was jumping off into uncertainty. I might fail, I might wish I never even tried. This hope I was clinging on to, might blow up in my face.

I questioned whether or not it was even worth the risk.

The funny thing is, looking back now, I can see it wasn't a cliff I was standing on, it was a field.

It wasn't about taking a crazy risk; it was about choosing to do the hard work of investing time and energy into my potential.

I am not saying I am a raging success with piles of money and worldwide fame. I am however, doing more than I was.

I am doing things now I never dreamed of doing ten years ago. I chose to till the ground of potential around me, and I was rewarded for my efforts. I also found there was more potential than I saw before, and more ground to till.

Ephesians 2:10 says, For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. 

God's Word says, you and I have been given all the potential we need, in order to accomplish great things.

So where are you putting the hard work in today, to produce something greater tomorrow? Where are you tilling the soil of potential in your life?

Don't stand back wishing you had what others have. Instead, do the work that is necessary to fill the gap between your potential and the success you will produce.

Dream a Crazy Big Dream

Do you ever slow down long enough to think about your future?

I don't mean imagining what you would do if someone gave you a million dollars. I mean, imagining what your future could look like if you did the work, prepared, and trusted God to open doors.

In a way I am talking about goals; but not normal goals. I am talking about goals that would need a divine touch in order to happen.

Consider this saying, "If you fail to plan, then you are planning to fail."

I like how King Solomon says it in Proverbs.

Proverbs 21:5 "The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty."

If we don't plan, if we don't set goals, if we don't dream, we will accomplish very little in this life.

For some of us, we get busy with the things in front of us today. So we never slow down long enough to dream and plan for tomorrow.

I think often times the underlying issue is, we are scared to dream, because if it doesn't happen, we will have to deal with feelings of failure.

Many of us are stuck where we are, paralyzed by our fear of failure.

So we avoid setting any goals or embracing any dreams at all, much less setting a large goal or believing an impossible dream.

Here is the problem with that.

You are not a temporary being, and you were never meant to think small and safe.

God has chosen you to reveal His love to others, but He also chose you to reveal His power and glory.

In Ephesians 3:20, 21 it says, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations for ever and ever! Amen." 

God is able to do more than we can ask or imagine.

If you look closely, it says why He does these great things in and through us.

God moves through us, in divine and supernatural ways, so that others might see His greatness, and be drawn to Him, drawn to Jesus.

Allowing God to do great things in your life, isn't really about you. It's about God being glorified through you.

So here is my challenge to you.

Below this post is a Comment Section.

I want you to go public with your crazy big dream!

Post something that you believe God has planted in your heart, something so big, that seems as if it could never come to pass.

Let's talk about out our dreams, and encourage each other as we pursue them.

Not for our fame, our gain, our glory; rather for God's glory to be shown through our lives.

Hope Even When You Are In The Pit

Each time I read the story of Joseph in the Old Testament I am amazed at his resilience and ability to keep pressing on.

If ever there were a man who had a right to throw in the towel, it was him.

Joseph never did give up, and countless people were blessed because of his choice to continue moving forward.

If you haven't read the story, Joseph was one of many sons, and his older brothers felt Joseph was their Dad's favorite. This led to bitterness in the older brother's hearts.

Up to this point, that probably sounds familiar to many. What the brothers did because of their bitterness however, would likely be viewed by most, as a bit harsh.

Joseph's brothers planned to throw their brother in a pit to die. Yet, one brother showed compassion, feeling that was too much, so he convinced the other brothers to instead, sell their brother into slavery.

I am not sure if that could be labeled as compassion, but I guess slavery is better than death, barely.

Joseph goes from being a part of a blessed and successful family, to property of someone else, with no rights and no future.

Joseph is then purchased to work in a high ranking man's home. Instead of sulking in his slavery, Joseph excels in his new environment, and gains favor with his owner.

Unfortunately, Joseph's master had a wife who was twisted. She tried to lure Joseph into having an affair with her. Joseph refused, so she lied and said Joseph tried to attack her.

Now Joseph is thrown in prison.

Joseph goes from being a favored son, to thrown into a pit, to sold into slavery, to working his way up to a trusted and favored servant, and now he is throw into prison.

I have walked through some adversity in my life, but nothing like this.

Joseph was a good man. He was a hard worker, intelligent, and successful. What he got in return, was judgement, accusation, and hate.

I think for most of us, at some point in time, we have walked through a season of persecution, attack, or some other form of difficulty.

This is especially difficult when we feel like we are doing all we can to make good choices, treat people well, and work hard.

It's unfair, and it hurts.

My challenge to you, is to consider this; what you are walking through today, is preparing you for a greater thing tomorrow.

Trouble and attack from others is not a marker of your worth, or whether or not God is pleased with you.

Your troubles and difficulties today are preparing you for whatever good work God has for you down the road.

Joseph's story ends with him being the second most powerful man in the known world. God uses Joseph to create a plan to save thousands and thousands of people from starvation during a time of famine.

I don't know how your story, or my story will end; but I do know this, if we continue to trust God and move forward, God can do miraculous things through us.

We need to choose to keep moving forward, but moreover, we need to keep our perspective on the long term, and the bigger picture.

If this is a season where you are in the pit, in a prison, or living with persecution and accusation, let me encourage you.

Your pain has a purpose, and God has a plan to use your persecution!

Don't give up, and you will see an even greater reward than you can hope or imagine.

I am praying for you.

A Kingdom Heart

A couple weeks ago we had a baptism service here at our church. 

I love Baptism Sundays because there is such a unique life and excitement in the air that surrounds these days. 

After service was over, I had jumped on Facebook and saw that the post I had written earlier about our Baptism service was being celebrated by friends and family all over. I was so encouraged.

As I scrolled through Social Media, I saw that some other sister churches had also had Baptism services. We had 6 Baptisms that Sunday, some had 12, some 20, and there was even one with over 140! 

I was so filled with joy. God had won the day. People were moving forward in their relationship with Jesus, churches were successfully fulfilling the Great Commission.

In the midst of this moment of reflection and celebration, I was posed with this question.

"Doesn't it bother you that all those other churches had more baptisms than you?"

In the midst of celebrating a great day, a great victory, something so starkly opposite was dropped in my lap. 

It is not a perspective I haven't heard before, in fact it is a mindset that, unfortunately, I hear all the time. 

The heart of this statement comes from a desire to compete, and even more, a belief that you are losing that competition.

Simply put, this type of statement is an indicator of lack of self worth. 

Many people cannot find it in themselves to compliment, or celebrate others accomplishments.

The reason for it, is they believe by celebrating someone else's victory, they are taking from themselves, and giving it away to another. 

They see open encouragement as an addition to another, and a subtraction from themselves. 

They cannot afford to celebrate with others, because they couldn't possibly risk feeling any lower than they already do.

This mindset is based on a lie. Lifting others, lifts you! Encouraging others, encourages you! Celebrating others allows you to be part of the celebration!

God is a God of addition and multiplication, not of subtraction and division.

Be encouraged today, and know that you have so much worth! 

Look carefully at what King David says here in Psalm 139:13-16 "Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother's womb. I thank you, High God - you're breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration - what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watch me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I'd even lived one day."

You are so valuable! You were crafted by God, which makes you a beautiful creation! 

So let me encourage you, you beautiful creation of God! Rest in the truth of your great value, and take time to remind others of their worth as well. 

More Than We Can Handle

I grew up in the church, and if you are like me, then you are familiar with the phrases that are frequently used inside the walls of the church.

These phrases are frequently leaned on to explain difficult situations, but I have found them to be rarely understood, and infrequently helpful.

Someone shares of their complex or difficult situation, and they are met with a phrase like, "The Lord works in mysterious ways."

Or someone is dealing with an intensely deep hurt, and the response they hear is, "God never gives us more than we can handle; sometimes I just wish He didn't trust us so much."

Does God work in mysterious ways? Sure.

Does the Bible say God never gives us more than we can handle? Not really...  check out the often misquoted verse for yourself to make your own assessment. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

I think the reality is, all of us face moments that are way more than we can handle. Maybe you are facing one of those moments right now.

We find ourselves drowning in sorrow, or overwhelmed by hurt, or trying to process a tragedy. Whatever the situation may be, it is just too much.

So if we each face these situations, why do people keep saying things like this? Why do we offer up these empty sayings?

Truth is, I think for many people, that is the best answer they have. Their intentions are not to blow someone off, or hurt them.

They see the look of desperation in someones face, and that is the best they have to offer.

I have good news, that is not the best God has to offer.

In Psalms 50:15 it says, "Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."

If you are feeling completely overwhelmed, that's okay. Just don't stay there, God says to call out to Him, and He will rescue you!

We were never meant to work it out on our own. We are not left to just find a way because God has some blanket promise that it will never be too much, and if it feels like too much, you're wrong.

Jesus pretty clearly says that we will need Him, and that without Him, things will not go real well.

In John 15:5 Jesus puts it this way, "Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."

So relax, it's okay that you have felt overwhelmed. You are not alone in feeling like life is way too hard.

That is why Jesus came.

So when you are reminded that it is more than you can handle, turn to Jesus, call on Him, He will rescue you.

Change From The Inside Out

I have had a couple really great conversations over the last week that have got me thinking.

It seems to me, that we can all become so fixated on exterior visible change, that we end up neglecting, or failing to show value to the change that happens internally.

What I mean by that is, rather than celebrating, or encouraging each other in our journey of surrendering our hearts to Jesus, and allowing Him to change how we feel and think, we are constantly scanning and making judgements based on the outward results we see.

Whether in a coffee shop, or church on a Sunday morning, people scan the room watching people, and making decisions; looking for exterior things to motivate, or squash the idea of connection.

In 1 Samuel 16:7 God is talking to the Prophet Samuel about choosing the new king. When Samuel arrived to the place God sent him, he saw a large powerful man, and immediately assumed, this must be the new king, yet God had a different plan. "But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'"

Upon appearance alone, Samuel had made a judgement call, yet he was incorrect in his assessment. The future king was King David, a man of smaller in stature than his brothers. It was not King David's physical size that captured God's attention, rather it was the size of his heart.

Please allow me to encourage you in two different areas.

First, let me encourage you, if you are trying to look like the kind of person you feel people would accept, love, or receive, it's time to change. Rather, ask God to give you the heart of a King, a heart after God's heart.

Second, let me encourage you, if you are depending on outward things to determine what kind of people you surround yourself with, it's time to change. Appearance and outward shells are fleeting and can be deceptive. God looks at the content of the heart, so should we.

Battle for Acceptance

I remember in 1st grade, working on an extra credit assignment over the weekend. We could earn extra points if we wrote out on sheets of paper counting by 2's or 3's. I took several sheets of graph paper, and I went home and filled my pages by counting by 2's. I don't remember exactly what number I had counted up to, but it was in the high hundreds. That next Monday, I walked into class with such confidence, and such excitement. Certainly I was among the intellectually elite, not to mention hard working and quite the go-getter.

I walked up to my teacher when she called out for those who had done extra credit. I proudly stood up and walked to the teacher to turn in my papers. She showed me a big smile, and congratulated me for my efforts. Yet as I turned to walk away, Andy Harris turned his papers in. I overheard him telling the teacher he had counted up to the thousands, and by 3's.

It was the strangest thing, but in that moment I was crushed. Hearing that my best efforts were nowhere near as impressive as Andy's, hit me hard. Andy was a great guy and a friend, he didn't rub it in, and I am certain he doesn't even remember that moment. Yet, I was so deeply wounded.

At that time in my life, I was really struggling because of some hurt I had experienced, so I was pretty emotionally damaged. Because of this I had at a very early age become quite dependent on the praise and acceptance of others. A compliment or acceptance would send me soaring, and a word of criticism or non-acceptance would send me crashing to the ground.

I have learned that so much of what is ugly and painful in this world is fear disguised as something else. Deep desire for acceptance of others is a great example of fear disguising itself. This type of desire for acceptance from others, is simply the fear of rejection.

Deep desire for acceptance from others, is fear of man.

In Proverbs 29:25 it says, "The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe."

The only way we are victorious over fear, or specifically fear of rejection, is by trusting in the Lord. Our focus changes from other's opinion, and rests instead on God. Then we begin to hear and meditate on what He says about us.

So if you are struggling with the fear of rejection; if you are hurting because you are feeling less, or unworthy, please hear me.

The only place you will find true peace and real acceptance, is in God. In Him, you will find all the acceptance and love you will ever need.

Avoiding Distractions

One of my greatest joys in life is being able to help people walk through life. Yet I have found that is easy for me, after helping people navigate through their struggles, to forget that I too need to process and grow through my areas of weakness.

I guess it is a subconscious thing. I get to help people problem solve, talk to them about where they are in their process, and see their growth and health. Soon I find there are many reasons to celebrate with them. Yet at the end of the week, as I am reminiscing of all these life changes and victories I have witnessed, it is easy to miss, that none of those victories were my own.

Helping people is a joy and a wonderful experience. That is not the subject I am focusing on.

I want to talk about the danger of distraction.

Whether it is helping people, a project at work, a renovation at home, or a relationship we are building; any number of things can distract us from personal growth.

When deciding on the title of my Blog Series, I decided on, "choosing to grow." I use that word "choosing," because I believe it isn't about our ability to grow, or about having a knack for growth. I believe the real issue is, whether or not we choose to grow.

Maya Angelou said it this way, "nothing will work unless you do."

We shouldn't expect to see growth, without a consistent effort to grow. In light of this, how can we give effort if we are constantly distracted?

The heart of the issue is, God has a plan for our life. We also have an enemy who will do anything to keep us away from that plan.

In Colossians 4:12 Paul says, "That you may become mature Christians and that you may fulfill God's will for you."

Growth is about more than just personal gain. Growth is about preparation. Allowing God to prepare us for what He has in store for us. God has a plan, God has a will for our life.

So it doesn't really matter what distraction looks like. Whether we are distracted by being busy, helping, serving, going, waiting, worrying, or wondering; we need to avoid anything that keeps us off track from God's will for our life.

So what are you distracted by today? Are you stuck because you are worrying about something, or someone? Are you unable to give effort where it is needed, because you are too busy doing the wrong things?

Let me encourage you, God has a plan to help you grow and mature. It is a really good plan. Don't worry, it's going to involve doing many of the things you love to do; remember, God made you that way.

Choose to say goodbye to your days of being distracted. Choose instead to grow, and to listen to God and His plan for your life.

The Correct Perspective

Have you ever had a couple year stretch where everything in your life goes exactly how you want it to?

Me either...

We all walk through seasons where things go well, and God's blessings are so evident. We also all walk through seasons where it seems nearly everything goes sideways.

Our circumstances have a way of lifting us up, or pulling us down. Yet, I don't think that is how God wants us to live.

I remember as a kid singing the song, "Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus." I have probably sung that song at least twenty-trillion times... I am not even exaggerating. I think over time however, I allowed the words to become watered down for me.

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will go strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."

What a powerful song.

Now think about the premise of the message. If we look to Jesus, and choose to be completely fixed on Him, the things of this world will fade away, as we understand how small they are in contrast to how great God is.

In Hebrews 12:2 it says it this way, "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."

It isn't about our circumstance, our need, or our abundance. It is about fixing our eyes on Jesus.

Truth is, our struggles shouldn't pull us away from God; but our blessings shouldn't be what draws us to Him either.

Our goal is not the perfect circumstance.

Our goal is the correct perspective.

We are loved by God. We are not alone. We have eternal hope through our relationship with Him.

So let me encourage you... Look to Jesus, look solely at Him.

Then no matter what your circumstances are, when He is your focus, all the worries of this world will fade away in the light of His goodness.

Blurry Vision

Self awareness is for the birds. 

I remember sitting on a couch in my friend's living room. We were having deep philosophical conversations about life and all the worlds problems. We jumped from topic to topic including religion, politics, and life in general. 

Finally we came to the topic of blind spots in our life. We talked about people who were unaware of the areas in their life they needed to grow in. 

I remember thinking to myself, I am glad I don't have any blind spots. Then out of my insecurity, I asked my friend, "do you think there are any blind spots in my life?" 

I was unhappy with his answer. In fact, I was unhappy he had an answer.

He said the statement we all hate to hear, "you really want me to answer that?" Unfortunately, there is only one appropriate answer to that question, and I am convinced that no one answers it honestly. "Yeah, of course I want to know."

What he said next shocked me, and broke open something in my mind and heart. He lovingly let me know that I have a tendency to dismiss people once I determine the relationship is not worth the work. 

I have always considered myself to be a mostly kind person. I know some of my thoughts are a little less than cordial, and I admit that from time to time I have made a decision to separate myself from someone. Yet I thought to myself, surely no one had noticed. Unfortunately, they had noticed.

As much as it hurt to hear this, it was really a great thing to know. I had a blind spot that others were picking up on. I was hurting people, and I didn't know it. 

It made me face the reality that, I am not completely self aware.

That may not sound like life-changing information. Yet how many of us walk around assuming that all of our faults are hidden? We think our unkind thoughts are not coming across in our tone, or in our actions. 

1 Corinthians 1:13a says "Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly."

Like I said at the beginning, self awareness is for the birds. It isn't fun to accept the fact that we have blind spots, or that we show our weakness and insecurity more than we would like to. 

There is beauty found in accepting this fact. If we realize we have faults and weaknesses, we are free to submit these to God, and ask for His help to change them. 

So join me in accepting our imperfection, then let's approach God and ask for His help to change.  

Guest Blogger: Where Do I Fit In?

Guest Blogger: Erin Sabo. Check out her blog at The Greatness of Grace

"Where do I fit in?" 

This seems to be the question of my life. From the outside I may seem to be a confident person. I can mingle in the crowd, hob-nob with fellow mom's, and find common ground with a patron at the supermarket. However, on the inside my heart still cries out with the same question from my youth… 

"Where do I fit?" 

Last week I struggled with this question as I formulated the plans for some upcoming ministry opportunities I have in the works. Yet again I found myself feeling left out and stranded. 

I was searching for my identity, but instead I was feeling awfully lost. 

I was on the phone with my Pastor, who was working through some details with me when he stopped and said something that hit like an arrow straight through my heart.

"Erin," he started, "Be very careful not to find your identity in this ministry." 

As I started to turn his statement over in my mind, it became clear. 

I was searching for my identity in the wrong things and looking for validation from people. Perhaps the question my heart was truly asking was, "Who am I?" 

And that's the question I hope you'll stop and ask yourself too.

My husband and I are beginning the laborious process of becoming foster parents. I am the type of person who plans all the details of our life, so I began to research foster care. I have read many stories, biographies, and memoirs of orphans and former foster kids. For years this has been a subject close to my heart. 

In all of this there seems to be an overwhelming cry of that same universal question, "Who am I?" 

This question may seem typical of an orphan; but I think it's the universal question in the heart of all of humanity.

“Who am I?" carries with it, "To whom do I belong?” 

It begs the question of where we find our identity. 

As a Christian, I understand that my identity is in Christ. I am His handiwork, I am His beloved, I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am bought with a price. Perhaps my feelings of not fitting in are because I am forgetting who I am, and to whom I belong. 

I’d guess that you have felt this same way in your life. 

Perhaps you are plodding along in life hoping you'll receive that pat on the back you've been working so hard for. Or maybe you're working extra hard to keep up with the Jones'. 

The problem is, there is always another set of Jones', and the grass will always be greener in the next yard. Your identity shouldn't be found in your things, and your worth is not defined by your achievements. 

This is the greatness of grace! If grace is earned, it is not grace at all! When it's all been said and done, your greatest achievement, is to be known by God. 

I hope this post both pushes, and challenges you to move towards the grace that is offered to you, and that you find your identity in God.  

If you enjoyed this Blog post and would like to read more, or follow my blog, please click here: The Greatness of Grace. My blog is about my life and my ramblings on faith and Christianity. Thanks for reading!