Goals For the New Year

The New Year is here, and I've been thinking about how I want to approach 2016. I've always been goal setter, but maybe not in the traditional sense. For me, the new year is an opportunity to examine how I've been prioritizing, and make some adjustments along the way.

Before you think about turning away, I promise, this is not a "Exercise 3 times a week" list.

Okay, here is the list of things I am going to be focusing on in 2016.

1. Plan Vacations: Before you brush off this comment, I don't mean, take a couple trips, one to Disneyland, and one to Hawaii. That isn't my reality either. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be planning vacations. Maybe there are some friends, or family members you've been meaning to go visit. Take the time off, drive over and see them. Make some plans to check out the local sites, make a big deal of it. I've got some people in mind I'd like to see, and a couple cool camping trips in the works; a vacation is a vacation.

2. Planned Activities with my Kids: At the end of a long week, it's easy to simply live together, rather than taking time to do a family movie night, or playing a board game together. A weekend that just rolls by has far less a positive impact than a weekend where you plan at least one thing to do together. I personally love doing a big Saturday morning breakfast for the family. Play a game at table, have the kids help out. It's messy, but there are lots of laughs.

3. Go on Dates with My Wife: Having kids takes a lot of our time and energy, and even when people offer to watch kids, sometimes it's difficult to muster up the energy to get out do something. Every marriage needs time just the two of you alone, and it's even better if you can do something facing each other. Sitting quietly in a dark movie theater isn't exactly a great relationship building experience. Go to dinner, even do something out of the ordinary, check out a local band playing, go bowling. Just do something together, alone.

4. Read: If you wouldn't call yourself a reader, then don't try to bite off more than you can chew. Start off by reading a couple blogs each week. Take a few minutes to read an interesting article. Start there, and work your way up. You don't have to agree with everything you read, or soak it all up as truth; it will help sharpen your mind, and engage your imagination.

5. Trust Others: I am the last person to tell anyone how to do this. I just know I really struggle to trust people. I tend to question whether people are being honest, if they really care about me, and what their hidden motivation might be. This type of thinking is insulting to others, and it puts the breaks on any potential friendship you may have the opportunity to develop.

6. Do What I Feel is Right, No Matter What: What I specifically mean here is, don't wait for others to take the first step, or to approve of my action before making a move. I find myself weighing way too many of my decisions on what others seem to be doing. If I know I need to show kindness to someone else, I'm not going to wait for the other person to make the first step toward me.

7. Forgive Quickly: Forgiveness is hard to live out. Quick forgiveness is even harder, in fact it feels impossible at times. I guess the realization I'm coming to is, I know God wants me to forgive others eventually. So by waiting to forgive, all I'm doing is holding on to something I know I'll eventually let go of, so why wait? You are going to need people to forgive you this year, so forgive others... And do it fast. 

8. Smaller Portions, More Exercise: I promise this is my only diet and exercise goal. This is something that is both important to me, and incredibly hard for me to be consistent on. So I'm setting a goal I know I can knock out of the park. When I order food, make myself a plate etc, I'm going to eat less. When I'm 80% finished with my meal, I'm going to stop eating. I have a gym membership, so I'm going to use it consistently, if that means once a week to start with, then that's where I'll start. 

9. Stop to Celebrate: This one I really need to work on. I am such a big picture person, I am constantly thinking about what needs to be tackled down the road. With that comes the mistake of never celebrating what gets done. This is a really bad habit especially if you are leading teams. I need to stop and celebrate the finish lines we cross, the projects we wrap up, and the goals we achieve.

10. Mentor people, Be Mentored: If you're like me, it's difficult to imagine yourself a mentor. We are so aware of what we don't know, it's hard to imagine we know enough to help anyone else. Truth is, there is always someone who could benefit from spending time with you. So find someone who is a similar path to you, and a few years behind. Take them to coffee, ask lots of questions, and be the worlds greatest encourager. Then every once in a while, if needed, offer advice. As for being mentored, ask someone who you would like to learn from to spend time with them. Show up with great questions, be really transparent and honest, and apply what they suggest you try.

This is my list, what did I forget? What would you add or take off of your list?

An Idea That Would Change Everything

I want to talk to you about an issue that is really important to me, but some would label it as controversial.

I grew up in a medium sized middle class American town. I was surrounded by people that I would describe, and I know others would too, as good willed people, that love God and love others.

I say that to explain, I believe I grew up in a culture, that is similar to many Christian Americans.

Alright, here is the context of conversation I want to have with you today...

I grew up believing that women were less important, less valuable, and less capable than men.

Notice I did not say, "much less", but the amount of less, simply doesn't matter.

I have come to realize how wrong I was in this belief.

There are so many directions this conversation can go from here, and many of those conversations are well worth having. However, I would like to focus in on one particular idea that I am especially passionate about.

Here is my big idea.

If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.

It makes me sad when I hear people equate the Bible, or God's thoughts toward women as chauvinistic. I'm not arguing there weren't people in the Bible who were that way. The Old and New Testament are full of them, fact is, that way of thinking is still prevalent today, but that doesn't mean that is God's opinion.

Let me explain what I mean.

The first book and first chapter of the Bible, we find this verse. Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them." God created man and woman in His image. That means, the most accurate picture we can see of God, is found in the combination of both man and woman.

In the very next verse we see this. Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'" 

God blessed both of them, and said to both of them, "I have a plan for you, multiply and take possession of the land."

God had a plan for men and women from the beginning.

Yet the unfortunate reality was, sin entered into the picture.

The result of sin, caused two types of division. Division between mankind and God, and division between men and women. More specifically, that division manifested as men ruling over women.

Since that time, God has been revealing his plan, and actively working to restore that division.

Why is it that people are excited about bridging the gap of separation between mankind and God, but they haven't considered the idea of healing the division between men and women?

Was one part of the curse meant to be restored to the original design, (mankind back in right relationship with God) and the other part of the curse was meant to be blessed? (men ruling over women)

The most quoted passage of Scripture speaks to the restoring of mankind to God. Certainly that is God's heart.

John 3:16,17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.

God's Word also speaks to restoring right relationship between men and women, along with all sorts of other types of division we have created.

Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

I believe God wants to restore our relationship with Him, and I believe God wants to restore the relationship between man and woman.

Now you may be reading this, and your mind is going to verses like Ephesians 5:23 Where it says, "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. " If that's you, I get it. My mind has gone there too. I applaud you for considering all of Scripture, and not wanting to build an idea on just one passage.

I ask that you stick with that same line of thinking, because as we talk through all of this, I want you to consider the bigger message that all Scripture communicates when looking at this passage and others like it.

Is this passage in Ephesians (and I encourage you to read the whole chapter) emphasizing an idea that men are more important or more valuable than women? Is it stating that men have greater capability, so God needs them to rule over women?

Or is this passage instructing men to love and lead their family like Jesus loves and leads the church?

I believe the second option to be true. So how does Jesus lead? He leads with sacrifice, grace, patience and selflessness.

This passage, especially in partnership with verse 25, is emphasizing the power of a godly man's sacrificial leadership of his family. This type of living is equated to how Christ loves the church, that is such an honor.

This passage is all about empowering men to lead like Jesus, that type of leadership is defined and modeled by Jesus through putting others first.

I don't believe this passage has anything to do with men ruling over women, nor is it asserting an idea that men are more valuable or capable than women.

I believe many of the passages people use to argue God's desire for men to rule over women, are tangled up due to an assumption about God's heart toward women, that simply isn't true.

I love dialogue, and I hope to have a lot regarding this topic, and I truly am interested in hearing your thoughts. But first please allow me to ask of you, one small favor.

As you are looking over those passages, I would like you to first say this simple statement to yourself, "God revealed His character and likeness through both men and women; in addition to that, God has always had a great plan for both men and women."

I believe, when we start with the assumption that God loves men and women equally, values them equally, and wants to bless them equally, we read Scripture with a better frame of mind.

I am not making the argument that men and women are the same, I think it's pretty obvious that men and women are different. You know who else is different? Men and men, and so are women and women. All people are different.

Treasa and I are indeed very different, but most of our differences aren't easily categorized as male or female. Treasa is far more bold than I am, I am much more sensitive to people's tone of voice, and their choice of words. These are not feminine, or masculine traits, they are human traits.

The fact that we are different, doesn't make one of us more important or valuable than the other.

Men and Women may be different, but God doesn't love them differently. He loves all of us completely.

Men and Women may be different, but the plans He has for us are the same. His plans for each of us are supernatural, they shape who we become, they change the culture around us, they reach out to the furthest parts of the world.

God may have given us different gifts, and the journey He has planned for us, is just as unique as we are. But His plans for all of us, men and women alike, are great.

Let's bring this back to my original thought. If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.

Picture this with me.

Imagine a world, where men and women alike, are fully convinced that God wants to use them in supernatural ways to change and impact the lives of others.

Imagine a world where godly men are energized and encouraged by the leadership and innovation of godly women.

Imagine a world where godly women never pause in fear of what godly men will think, as they choose to step out in faith following God's plan for them.

I believe that ultimately, change like this starts with an understanding that this is God's plan. That this was His plan from the beginning.

That's the world I want to live in. It's also the world I want my daughters and sons to live in.

So let's do our part to dispel the lie, that women are less important, less valuable, and less capable than men. Instead, let's remember God's original design.

Let me close with this. The most oppressed people group in all of history is women. It was true a couple thousand years ago, and it's still true today. How drastically different will this world look, when this pattern of oppression is broken?

I bet there isn't a single thought that scares the enemy more than that one.



Tell me what you think. Does any of this strike a chord with you? Share your thoughts and stories, I would love to hear them.

The Life of a Parent

I love being a Dad, it's something I wake up excited about, and I go to bed grateful for. Parenting does however, come with some challenges. 

Since my kids are often on my mind, there are times my mind plays out some interesting scenarios of problems that, "might happen some day" 

I had a thought this morning after dropping off my kids at school. I had this awesome conversation with my oldest daughter Priscilla. She is 11 years old, she is funny, witty, ridiculously creative, and strikingly beautiful. One of my favorite things about her is, she talks to me like i'm her friend. 

So this morning we were talking about what she is going to do with her free time during Christmas break. She talked about getting some rest, doing some baking with her Mom, hanging out with friends, and spending time doing some art. She used to paint more often, and she wants to take some time to paint during this break. I love that she thinks of things like that, when I was her age, I thought about TV, climbing trees, and food. 

After I dropped her and the other kids off, I was walking into work, and this thought came out of nowhere, and it totally freaked me out. 

Now I am about to be vulnerable here, so please don't judge me... 

I thought, "Since my daughter is so free thinking and artistic, there is a really good chance she is going to want a nose ring some day... What in the world am I supposed to do if that day comes!?" 

Now before you get carried away, I really am not bothered by tattoos, or piercings, or any of that stuff. My struggle wasn't with piercings, I was struggling with MY daughter having a nose ring. 

After allowing this idea to plague my mind for about an hour, I came to this conclusion. If that day does come, and during one of our talks, she mentions wanting a nose ring... I am going to be excited that my daughter is choosing to have that conversation with me, rather than being upset about a metal ring in her nose. 

Many of us will be spending time around family and friends during this Christmas season. I am sure you will find plenty of opportunities to argue about politics, religion, and each other's life-choices. I want to encourage you to instead, be glad that you have the opportunity to be there talking with them.

Whether your kids are grown and have their own kids, or your kids are still living under your roof, remember first to take the time to talk to them, and just be with them. 

After all, letting them see your support and presence in every type of circumstance, is a powerful act of love.

Broken, But the Good Kind

I remember when I was younger I would listen to my older brother Geoff pray. I could hear him as he would pray just over his breath, and he would always finish his prayer with, "thank you for dumping my family."  

Night after night, I would listen to him trying to figure out the context, discovering how dumping our family is a good thing. Finally one day, I decided to be brave, and try it out at the end of my prayer and see how things went. My mom was listening, so I figured some feedback might help. So in closing I said, "and God, thanks for dumping my family." My Mom was thrown a bit back, asking why I would say such a strange thing. I told her, "Geoff always says that at the end of his prayer." Without skipping a beat, my brother yelled from across the room, "thank you for what you've done for my family!" 

I'm not sure how I got that so mixed up... but hey, it happened. 

In the same way, we say things in the church, that are completely mysterious to someone visiting church for the first time, or new to church life. I think worship leaders are the best at this... "Thank you Jesus, we are broken before you, bowing at your feet, extolling You with the highest praise." I think to most of us in the room, we have tuned out such language as church language, but to the new family, that kind of prayer, at best weirds them out, at worst, it scares them a bit. 

Changing how our worship leaders pray is a discussion I will avoid here, but I do want to focus in on one saying we hear a lot in the church. 

Broken before God. 

When you first hear this, it sounds like this painfully uncomfortable and aggressive thing. There may be some who disagree with me, but that's not at all what I picture when I think about being broken before God.

To me, broken before God is the choice to abandon all our normal plans and ideas of how we face difficult moments in life. 

Here is what that prayer sounds like for me.

"God, I take all the temporary things I place my trust in, and throw them to the ground, like clay jars full of misplaced hope, I let them fall to the ground, shattering into pieces.  Not my plans, not my strength God. Those things are broken, I stand before You trusting You, I am broken and waiting before you God." 

Brokenness before God is actually a wonderful relief. 

How have you viewed brokenness before God? What other "church phrases" have you come across that you aren't sure about?

Who He Is, Is Enough

This last week was a pretty crazy one for us. The expression, when it rains, it pours was very appropriate for our family. With Thanksgiving week being a shorter week for school and work, it was a get 5 days of work done in 3 days, kind of week. 

Wednesday late afternoon, I was at work and Treasa text me to say our oldest son Isaiah wasn't feeling good, so she thought she should take him to Urgent Care. That way, if he needed some meds we didn't have to worry about getting them on Thanksgiving day. I thought it was a great idea, like most of her ideas, and I assumed that was the worst of it. 

I was wrong. 

Shortly after that text, I got another from Treasa saying they rushed Isaiah over to the ER. I dropped what I was doing at work, and rushed to the car and began to drive the 20-25 minutes to the hospital. 

I was texting everyone I could think of, that I knew would pray, and that I figured would want to know. Between texts, I was doing a combination of crying, praying, and screaming to God. The best prayer I could come up with was, "Jesus, please heal my son." I said it a hundred times I am sure. 

Then a thought came to my mind. 

I began to change my prayer from, "Jesus, please heal my son." and I began to speak out the attributes I knew to be true about God. "God You are love, You are faithful, You are able, You love my son even more than I do, You can heal him, You have healed me and others I know before, You are not surprised by today, You are with me, You have awesome plans for Isaiah and his future."

I went from a place of fear and worry for my son, to a place of confidence in who God is. I knew God was in control. I didn't know how things would work out, and I won't say I knew God was going to heal Isaiah, but I knew who God was, and that was enough. 

The next 24-48 hours were really rough. Isaiah had to get a lumbar puncture, IV's, shots, meds, and all that comes with a hospital stay. It was hard to see him endure all that, but I had a peace in my heart through all of it. 

He is doing amazingly well now, and it seems like we are on the other side of the whole ordeal, but my peace didn't come after, it came during. 

So here is my encouragement for you today, whatever you are facing, whatever you are walking through, take some time to focus on what you know about God. What do you know is true about Him? Speak those things out, say them with confidence, think on the times He has shown Himself faithful to you in the past. I believe, that even in the midst of difficulty, knowing who He is, is enough to help you get through. 

What are some of things you have learned about God and His character that may help you or others? Please share them!

I am praying for you!

Thankful For Scars

When I was a kid, I found lots of opportunities to buck hay. If you don't know what bucking hay is, it's when you walk alongside a flat bed trailer and pick up hay bales out of a field, and throw them on the trailer, then take them to the barn and unload them. Some guys used hooks to pick up the bales, but I always was a fan of grabbing the orange twine and picking them up, then using my knee to lift them up on to the trailer. After grabbing countless bales, and gripping on to twine hundreds of times, my hands developed these thick calluses. I used to think it was cool to take a knife and poke at the callus showing how it didn't hurt, or i'd grab a lighter and see how long I could hold the flame before it hurt too bad.

Hard work produced those calluses, and they made me feel like a superhero.

It's strange how the pain of manual labor gave me calluses that made me feel so strong; but the pain of emotional or mental strain gave me calluses that made me feel so weak. 

I celebrated the scars of hard work, but I was ashamed of the scars that I obtained in my every day living.

I have since changed my mind about that, and I hope to change your mind about it too. 

Whatever scars we acquire during our journey, are proof of not only our strength, but also proof of our ability to carry on when things seem impossible. 

I have scars from loneliness, insecurity, abandonment, shame, fear, and rejection. Each of those came through multiple stories of bad days, ugly people, or bad choices. As a result, I spent a lot of my energy trying to cover up or ignore these scars. 

The thought that I could celebrate the calluses that came from these scars never crossed my mind. 

James 1:2-4 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows it true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

The beautiful reality is, those difficult times, those hard moments, made me who I am today. Sure, I am by no means perfect, but I am better today than I was a year, or ten years ago. I have grown and learned a lot. 

As much as I may not want to accept it, the times of greatest growth in my life, have come during the times of greatest difficulty. 

I am not sure where you are right now, or what you are facing; but I want to encourage you to consider this idea. Whatever difficult you are currently facing, or hardship you are struggling to recover from; has made you stronger, caused you to grow, and has taught you valuable lessons.

One of the greatest gifts I have learned, is the pain I experienced in the past has made me more aware of others experiencing a similar pain. It has allowed me to help them in their journey. 

How have you learned from your hardships to help others?

What can you do, to become thankful for your scars? 

Serving Takes Courage

I'm not sure if you feel this way too, but there are times when serving others is really hard to do.

Sure, there are many times doing something for someone else gives us that warm gushy feeling, and we really enjoy it; but there are times when serving someone else, sparks an inner war of conflict that seems un-winnable. 

I think there are a plethora of reasons why we struggle to serve others. Sometimes it's a person we aren't really fond of, sometimes the timing is just awful, and sometimes we are in a mood where "nice" isn't really on our radar. 

One of the biggest culprits I have experienced personally, is when the person I am serving doesn't seem very grateful that I am helping them. They ask for help, and I go the extra mile to help them, and their response looks like, "I owed them" rather than, "they appreciate it." I confess, that is hard for me. 

A great quote that helps me with that is, "The best way to see if you truly have a servant's heart, is how you respond when someone treats you like a servant." 

Ouch.

When we boil it all down, serving isn't about us, it's about others. So when people respond in a way that doesn't recognize our service, or if they act like people who aren't worthy of service, that makes it difficult, but it shouldn't change our mind about serving.

Service isn't about the one doing the serving, it's about the one they serve, and more importantly about the one Who has called us to service.

Matthew 20:28 puts it this way, Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Jesus was the greatest servant of all time, and the example we should look to, He called us to serve like He did. 

If there was a ever a person who shouldn't have to serve, if there was ever a people unworthy of service... Long story short, we are without excuse.

So my encouragement to you is this, don't give up on serving. Try to see the beauty and power of service on it's own, detached from the people's response. I believe you will be so glad you did, and God will bless you when you serve.

I Would Die For Them... Maybe

I remember overhearing a conversation between these two guys, a young man, and an older man. The younger man said, "I hope when I get older, I am kind and optimistic like you. I am just so afraid of turning out to be a grumpy old man." The older man's response stuck with me. "Friend, you won't grow up to be a grumpy old man. Grumpy old men, were grumpy young men. When you get older, you just become an older version of who you were as a younger man." 

This concept stuck with me, and I think it applies to many aspects of our lives, but here is the overarching thought I want to share with you today.

We are, and we become, what we practice every day. 

There is no moment when we just miraculously become more grumpy; but there also isn't a moment when we miraculously become more noble, more committed, more kind, or more loving.

I have heard people use the phrase, "I would die for them" many times. Often times it's in a moment when someone is making a dramatic statement to contrast their behavior. For instance, "I may not be real kind or real present for my wife and kids, but I would die for them."

The stark reality is, if you won't give up a TV show to talk to your kids or if you won't miss a football game to go on a date with your wife, you probably aren't going to die for them.

You don't miraculously become someone different in moments of great stress. The truth is, in moments of great stress, your true character shines through.

So here is my encouragement to you. Start today. Work today, apply today, strive today to become who you want to be when you are older, in moments of great stress. 

How do we do that? By leaning into Jesus. 

The first part of James 4:8 says it this way, "Come near to God and He will come near to you."

As we grow closer to God, we simultaneously become more like who God wants us to be, and become more like the person we want to be later in life, and in our present difficult moments.

Don't wait for your miraculous change to come out of nowhere. It doesn't come simply from an elongated amount of time. It comes from a daily commitment to change and grow closer to Jesus.  

The Power of Your Words

I was at a Pastors training a couple years back. It was something I went to once a month, and it required lots of work. There were books to read, reflection and self-examination of my own habits and leadership practices. It was an awesome time, but also a challenging one. 

At the end of one of these day long trainings, the pastor who was leading it, walked up to ask me how I was doing. We talked for a moment, and he said the simple phrase, "I am really proud of you Daniel, you're doing a really awesome job." I threw out my normal response by sheepishly thanking him, not sure how to respond.

But on the inside, something pretty significant happened. His statement rocked me. It totally threw me off how much his simple sentence had affected me. When he said, "He was proud of me." It was as if I won the lottery, or that he had opened a door for me that would lead to good fortune. 

I wasn't in a place of being particularly low, but his words had clearly hit a chord with me. 

In the end, I think what happened was, I experienced what it feels like when someone you respect and look up to speaks life into you. This leader, this pastor, said he saw something great in me, and he told me he thought that I had what it takes.

His words held power, and he used that power to lift me up, to encourage me, and to propel me forward.

Proverbs 18:21a says "The tongue has the power of life and death."

Regardless of where you are in life, what you do, how old you are, what you have accomplished, there are people that look to you and see someone they look up to.

You hold the power to encourage them, to propel them forward, to speak life into them. 

Your words hold power, use that power to build others up. You would be surprised what your simple words of encouragement will do for them.

Offer God Glory, Not Groaning

Sometimes life is so filled with difficulty, it's hard to see any bright spots shining through. But, most of the time life is a messy stew of good and bad, up and down, sickness and health, joy and sorrow. 

During the times when life gives us the normal flow of good with bad, we have a choice in how we respond. We can focus on the good, or we can focus on the bad. We can dwell on the good, or we can dwell on the bad. 

Before I go any further, let me say, I am not a proponent of "pretend like everything is great." I think we have all had our fill of canned religious responses.

"How are you today?" is often met with, "I am filled with joy and wonder, and thriving in faith and mercy!" 

Let's be honest with ourselves and each other, and admit that life can be really hard sometimes; but when we understand the reality of God's presence with us, and the love He has for us, even the darkest times, aren't completely dark.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Seems like kind of a crazy idea when you first read it. I don't think the author Paul is telling us to say, "Thanks God for my headache." I think a more accurate perspective is that, when things aren't going well, to thank God that you aren't alone and He is with you. When you experience loss, thank God that He gives so many great gifts. 

It's more than the discipline of thanking God for what we have, even during tough times, it's reminding ourselves of where we stand. It's putting our focus on the big picture, not on the current struggle. 

When we choose to give God glory, instead of groaning, it will change both our perspective, and our attitude. 

Ups and Downs

I remember the first time I read about Elijah's story in 1 Kings 18 and 19 in the Old Testament. I was so blown away by what happened.

I was captivated by his ability to stand up and speak of his faith in God, even when he was surrounded by hundreds of people who passionately disagreed. My mind spun at the miracle that God accomplished of sending down fire to consume the altar and the sacrifice. 

If you haven't read 1 Kings 18, you should stop right now and read it. Click here to check it out online if you don't have a Bible with you. Start in verse 20. 

This part of the story was amazing to me. There is so much there to chew on, to consider, and to think about.

But this wasn't the part of the story that got my attention. It was the first part of the next chapter, chapter 19. 

After all these amazing things, after the miracles and everything, Elijah heard someone was angry with him, and was coming after him; so he ran and hid. 

The guy who just saw God send down fire from heaven, the guy who just stood in faith in front of a massive crowd, trusting God to do something amazing, ran and hid. 

More than that, after he ran and hid, he sat under a bush and wished he was dead. 

I was amazed at this part of the story. I think I was mostly captivated, because I completely related. 

I have always found it disturbingly easy to go from feeling on top of the world, to unsure the sun will ever shine again. Maybe some of you have felt the same way? 

Consider this though, the God who was faithful and there with Elijah in Chapter 18, was still with Elijah in Chapter 19. 

The support, power, and love that God had available to Elijah hadn't changed. What changed was Elijah's focus. He was no longer looking to God, he was looking at his circumstance. 

In the same way, we can become discouraged or disheartened when we look only at the circumstances around us, instead of to the God who is for us, the God who provides for us, the God who loves us.

So let me encourage you with this thought, instead of being driven by the circumstance of your day, good or bad, focus on the God who never changes, never forgets, and never leaves. When our eyes are fixed on Him, regardless of the challenge, we can stand confident and assured of Gods ability to take care of all that we need.

Keep your eyes on Him!

It's a Relationship, Not Stuff to Do

It's interesting to me how we often hear, or say that Christianity is simply a relationship with Jesus; yet we treat our relationship with Jesus in a way that we wouldn't treat any other relationship.

There are two major pitfalls we can fall into. One we look at Jesus as the answer to our problems, and nothing more. We swing by to make requests, or complaints, and then don't say another word until something else goes wrong. What other relationships would thrive in that environment?

The second opposite extreme to that scenario is the one I want to focus on here. We say we are in relationship with Jesus, but we are really just trying to do stuff that we think would make Him happy, or do things that make us seem like we are in relationship with Him.

Here is what I mean by that. We don't smoke, don't chew, don't go with guys and girls who do. We don't swear, we don't steal, we smile, we go to church, we help people.

All of those things are great, but none of those things constitute a relationship with Jesus.

We can do all those things really well, and never even talk to Jesus.

Not swearing doesn't improve your relationship with Jesus any more than typing on your computer makes you a closer friend of Bill Gates.

Part of being in relationship with Jesus is the dramatic and beautiful affect it has on our daily living.

But that's the model, relationship with Jesus is followed by our changed behavior.

We don't change our behavior, and by default we progress in our relationship with Jesus.

So here is my encouragement to you this week.

Next time you begin to do, or not do something out of a religious habit; instead, pause in that moment, and simply say, "Hey God, it's me. Anything you want to say to me?"

You will be so glad you did.

What Matters Most

I heard someone say the other day that, "the church is the only organization where the members expect every need, every preference, and every obstacle to be fixed and met by the leadership." Essentially, this person was making the observation that the "church" or the people that go to a church have become convinced that the job of the church is to meet all their needs and desires.

This may not seem like a big deal, I mean after all haven't we all heard a friend or family member say, "I need to look for a new church, this one isn't meeting our needs." or, "I am looking for a church that really focuses on all the things that are important to us." or finally, "We are doing some church shopping to find a church that really does well in all the areas that are important to us." 

Maybe some of those statement you yourself have said, maybe they don't bother you at all, or maybe all three make your skin crawl. 

Regardless of your stance on these statements I want you to consider a few things. 

The Disciples followed Jesus for around 3 years. During that time, they saw Jesus do amazing things for all sorts of people. He healed, fed, and encouraged the poor, the rich, the wicked and the innocent. 

The Disciples really only found themselves getting into trouble when they did one thing... 

In Luke 9:46 and again in Luke 22:24 the Disciples are found arguing about which of them is the greatest. 

Jesus rebukes their thinking both times. 

The Disciples lost perspective when they began to think following Jesus was about them, and not about others.   

So let me encourage you with this thought; when you consider your faith, your walk with Jesus, how much of that is about you, and how much of that is about others?

Jesus wants to speak through you, He wants to bless others through you. Don't miss out on those opportunities by focusing on the wrong things. You will be so glad you did!

For more blogs by Daniel, please click here danielcsabo.com  

Sometimes the Perfect Response is Rest

I don't know if you are like me, but I am one of those strange people that fight feelings of guilt when I take time off from work. 

I worry about who will have to carry my load when I'm gone, and I fret over what I may have forgotten to tell someone before I left. 

I envy the people who clock out and switch into vacation mode, and don't give it another thought until they walk back into the office when they get back. 

The reality is, vacations are a great thing. In fact, rest in general is a wonderful thing. Taking a break is at times the best decision you can make. 

Luke 5:16 says, But He (Jesus) would withdraw to desolate places and pray. 

Jesus understood that getting away, resting, withdrawing was an important part of healthy living. He certainly felt the stress and pull of people's needs and expectations; so He got away when He needed to.

 

So here is my encouragement to you today. If you have been feeling overwhelmed, or stretched thin, it's probably time for you to withdraw and get away from it all. You may not have the ability to drive off to a hotel for a weekend, but it may just take an opportunity to turn off your phone and computer, and go sit on your back porch, or just go to a park and sit. Let the busyness of life fade away, get alone and let God offer you rest. 

Trust me, even when things are crazy, sometimes the perfect response to your situation is rest. 

Push Through, You Might Be Surprised

When I first joined the Army, I had never really been into running. I played some sports, and was a pretty active kid, but never pushed myself or really worked hard at running.

In Basic Training, running isn't really a choice.

In Basic they would have three groups that would go out for runs in the morning. The A, the B, and the C group. A was the skinny long distance running people, B the middle of the road, and C those who really struggled. I went for group B. I didn't think much about it, I just figured that was the right group for me.

I remember a few days in, during one of our runs I thought to myself, "Maybe Basic won't be so bad, I can do this." No sooner had I finished that thought, my Drill Sergeant screamed at me, "Sabo! If I ever see you in B group again, I will destroy you!" That was his way of telling me, he felt I belonged in the A group.

From then on through Basic, I was pushed to my limit each day. Surrounded by skinny runners who found joy in it. It was a pretty difficult couple months.

After Basic Training, you go to something called, AIT, it is basically the schooling for your specific job; but school with Drill Sergeants. My first morning there I jumped into formation for the morning run, and began practicing in my mind what faces I could make that would make me look exhausted.

Just before we took off, our First Sergeant yelled to our Drill Sergeant, "Hold up!" "I smell a couple runners in this group..." He walked slowly through the group looking up and down all these soldiers, and yep, you guessed it, he stopped at me and said, "Soldier, you're mine now."

Our First Sergeant had a special running group called, "Quick Strike" This group ran with the First Sergeant, and that man loved to run... fast... and far.

For the next few weeks I felt like I was going to die. My lungs were always burning, my legs were always hurting. During these runs, our First Sergeant would always be yelling at us, "keep pushing through soldier, you may find a strength you didn't know you had."

At first it just felt like he was mocking my pain.

Then one day as we were running, I felt my body desperately wanting to quit; but there was this voice in my head, maybe there is a strength in me I didn't know I had. So I pushed, I pushed against my pain, I pushed against the burning in my lungs, I pushed through reason.

Then something happened I never expected. All the pain, all the burning almost completely faded away. It was like there was this switch inside me that decided what I used to consider great pain, was now just a mild inconvenience.

My First Sergeant pushed me to learn a really important lesson. When you refuse to quit, when you refuse to give up, when you choose to push through, you find something in you, that you didn't know was there.

The Bible says it this way, Isaiah 40:31 "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

So let me encourage you with this thought, push through. Whether it's a relationship, a job, or a goal, choose to push through.

It may feel impossible, it may seem like there is no way you can push through. So let me share those words that were shared with me.

"Keep pushing through soldier, you may find a strength you didn't know you had."

An Honest Conversation

Let's have an honest conversation.

If you have spent any time around me, you have heard me use this expression. Maybe even to an obnoxious degree.

Even still, I feel like it is such a crucial part to healthy living, and healthy relationships, I can't see myself changing that anytime soon.

There have been many times in my life, or in the life of close friends and family, where tension or a conflict has come up, and the best answer is simply an honest conversation.

Yet an honest conversation is not on their mind for a potential solution.

In the Old Testament there is a prophet named Samuel. Samuel was a good man, and a godly man. People respected him, and God trusted him. He did what he was supposed to, and people saw that.

The problem is, Samuel had a couple sons who were not like their dad. In fact, they were kind of the opposite of their dad.

So we see in 1 Samuel 8:5 God's people say to Samuel, "Behold, you are old and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations." 

Rather than talk to Samuel about the need to confront his sons, or relay the people's displeasure with how Samuel's sons were acting; they chose to make a major sweeping change of how they operate. They didn't want God to be their King any longer, they wanted a man for a king.

This story in Samuel is pretty complex with a lot of other factors to consider, but this big idea is pretty easily applicable to our daily lives.

How many times do we make a major change, or go out of our way to avoid someone rather than just talk about what is wrong?

How many friends or co-workers do you have that your stomach secretly turns as they do or say something you don't like? Why don't you say anything about it?

Life is messy, and complicated. Relationships at work or at home aren't any different. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try our best to work through and deal with the issues that come up along the way.

Sure, we should be gracious to each other when we have an off day. Yes, we should always choose to forgive when someone hurts or lets us down.

We should also commit to have honest conversations when there is tension or a difficult situation we are facing.

So here is my challenge to you. Sit down with your friend about what you are feeling, and talk to them about it. Sit down with your family member and express to them what you are seeing.

Approach the conversation with the desire to see things improve, or be restored.

It may feel uncomfortable, it may be awkward, and you may even word something in a way you didn't intend; but at least you are talking about it.

Choose to have an honest conversation, and you will see, it wasn't as bad as you thought, and it may even work out to be a benefit in disguise.

5 Things You Need, to Build Unity in Your Team

All of us are a part of some sort of team.

Whether it is your family, your co-workers, your church, or a club you belong to, everyone is a part of a team.

Unfortunately that doesn't mean everyone is a part of a healthy team, or a team that operates from a
place of unity.

Reality is, we all likely have a story about a toxic team, or an unhealthy environment we have been a part of.

One thing I am sure we could all agree on, unity is awesome and lack of unity isn't any fun. 

So here are 5 things, I believe will help any team, regardless of the type or size, grow in unity.  

1. Truth in Love

Many people choose to live on one side or the other of this issue. 

Some say they want to love people. So they only say nice things, and if they can't think of something encouraging, they choose to say nothing. They don't want to hurt people, so they stick to loving uplifting statements only.

The other group of people are the truth police. They walk around pointing out the faults and mistakes of others. They leave behind a trail of insecurity and hurt feelings, all while flying their banner of truth.

Both of these people are wrong. Real love means being honest with each other. Truth without love for people is just meanness. 

To be a part of a team that lives in unity, you need to commit to being honest with each other. This means communicating truthfully, but in a way that clearly expresses your care for the other person.   

2. Celebrate Each Others Ups

I remember a long time ago I was with a friend who was honored in a really cool way. He had done something pretty remarkable, and was received the kudos he was clearly due. The problem was, I was sick with envy and frustration that he was getting it. 

I found myself visibly upset, because someone else was getting praise. After that day, I committed to God I never wanted to find myself in that position ever again. I have since used my response to others victories as a meter for how healthy I am. If others are experiencing a great moment, and I am having to force a smile, there is some work that needs to be done in my heart. 

To have unity, you need to learn to be just as happy for your team members victory, as you are for your own. 

3. Grieve Each Others Downs

The other side of this issue is when your teammates are having a bad day, or experiencing a down moment. 

This principle works the same way, but in reverse. When your teammate is down, are you glad they are down and not you? Or do you want to help them back up? 

Use these moments as a self check. If you see them down and out, and you are having to fight off a smile, there is some serious work that needs to be done in your heart. 

You will never find a sense of unity if you aren't able to empathize with your team member in their low moments. 

4. Think Team Win, not the Individual Win

The natural follow up to these last two ideas is this simple concept. You have to view wins and losses as a team, not as individuals. If one of your team members is down, you are down too. If one of your team members is being celebrated, your team is being celebrated too.

This mentality will greatly help you in how you respond to your teams current circumstance. If you take your teams current standing personally, you will be invested in their ability to bounce back, and you will have a sense of personal accomplishment when they knock something out of the park.  

Unity is not only working together, it is realizing you rise and fall together as well. 

5. Make Room For Others

I think the underlining issue that makes some of these steps difficult to walk out, is we believe that there is only so much acclamation to be had. We believe there is only so many "atta boys" that can be given, and a very small platform for the victors. 

That simply isn't true.

There is room for all of us to succeed, there is room for many to shine. Even more than that, the team victory is so much better than individual one. 

This is my list of what it takes to make unity. What would you add to the list? Or what would you take off?

Pain with Vision is Easy

Growing up, I had this really awful habit. Whenever I felt like saying something, I said it. It didn't matter if it was none of my business, if it was hurtful to others, if I was only partially sure, or if I only had a small piece of the information.

If I could think it, I would say it.

As you can imagine, that brought on some difficult moments for me, and especially for those around me.

Since then, I have learned that just because something crossed my mind, does not in any way suggest I must say it.

Unfortunately, that is hard to do.

Have you ever had one of those moments? When you are sure your insight needs to be shared. Your perspective just has to be thrown in there. People need to know what you know.

But not really.

This lesson has become especially important now that I am a Dad.

It is hard to hold back something I want to say, when my brain is convinced I must say it. Unless the comment is directed at my 10 year old daughter.

When holding back a thought, or a comment will benefit someone I love, keeping my mouth shut becomes really easy. When the momentary pain of self-discipline will benefit the vision I have for a bright future for one of my kids, the decision becomes simple.

When we have clear vision, the momentary pain we experience has a purpose. Pain with a purpose is easy to endure.

Whether your issue is like mine, and you struggle to keep your mouth shut, or another issue like pushing on when you don't feel like it; let me offer you this piece of advice.

Seek to find a clear vision for your life, your relationships, and your future. If you have a vision for where you are wanting to go, or how you want to grow, or see a loved one grow, you will find the momentary pain you experience, easier to endure.

Pain with vision is easy to live with.

The First Step of Learning

I often meet people that want to learn something new, or grow in an area of their life, but they are stuck at the starting line.

I think most people struggle to learn something new, or grow in a particular area of their life, because they get stuck on Step 1.

Imagine for a moment you are in a conversation and you are sharing your understanding of a subject, and someone responds to your statement by saying, "No, that isn't correct, this is what is true..." They clearly communicate that you are wrong, and then use facts and details to affirm that you were indeed incorrect in your thinking or understanding.

How does that make you feel? How do you respond in moments like this?

All of us respond to these kind of moments differently. Some of us, would see this person as rude. Some would tell them to keep their thoughts to themselves. Some would be mortified at sharing information that was incorrect. Some would say their day would be ruined after a moment like this.

The reality is, this kind of moment perfectly outlines why so many get stuck in their learning process.

They hate being wrong.

I know that being wrong is uncomfortable, but I want you to consider changing your mind about wrong.

I want you to learn to embrace wrong.

The first step in learning, is being wrong. More specifically, accepting that you "don't know", "can't", "haven't learned", "don't understand", or "don't get it".

Being wrong is okay. In fact, I want to encourage you to embrace the power of your wrongness.

Accepting that you are wrong is the groundwork for beginning your journey of learning.

In Proverbs 18:15 it says, "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." To learn, you first have to choose to listen to others, and embrace the reality that they may possess something you do not.

So here is my challenge to you this week. Be openly wrong. Be openly mistaken. Let someone know that you can't, or that you don't understand.

When you gain the courage to do so, and the moment of wrong comes... choose to smile.

Remember, in order to learn, you first have to understand and accept that you have room to learn.

So get out there and be wrong, make a mistake, confess your ignorance, and then get to learning.