I have heard recently that the new definition of regular church attendance is twice a month. I have also heard that a committed Christian will give you between 2 and 5 hours a week, including a Sunday, so make the best of that time.
Our world is speeding up, our commitments are growing, our stress levels are rising, and time is flying by. In light of all this, our need to unplug and rest is becoming more and more crucial. For many people Sunday is the one day that you can really disconnect and catch up on your peace.
I wont really take any time in this post to talk about what we are saying "yes" to, or how busy we really need to be. Yet, it is worth noting, for many of us, if we add up the weekly shows we stay up on, the amount of time we spend on social media watching, and how many hours we play a game on our phone or a console, there is some time to be recaptured.
The point I want to focus on, is what is the community the Bible describes we are to walk in, and how different would our world be if we walked in it.
Let me list some of the big points I want us to focus in on.
Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ."
Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how to spur each other on to love and good deeds."
Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
1 Corinthians 12:12-27 "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ..."
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."
I list these passages to simply make a point, there is so much that the Bible talks about when it comes to walking in community with others. Don't think of it as a list of things we are supposed to do, rather, think of these things as a gift God has given us.
We can walk in community with others, not bearing our own burdens, but having them shared with others. When we are down, we can have people around us that encourage us to move forward. We are a part of something far greater than just ourselves. It continues from there, I'm sure you get the idea.
The question I want you to consider is, who are you walking in community with? Who counts on you? Who are you counting on? It may be possible that you are so busy and so preoccupied, that you aren't able to really even be in community with anyone. Whatever it is that may be standing in your way, take steps today to move forward into healthy, real, life changing community.
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
Thursday, July 13, 2017
How Close Are You Really?
In our world of social media and the reality that nearly all of us has some form of public persona, we must make a decision of how we respond to this pressure.
It is easy to look at everyone else's vacations, meals, moments filled with laughter in all their posts, pictures, and shares; and come to two assumptions. One, our life is not as grand as everyone else's, and two, we should portray a picture of our life that seems far more appealing than it actually is.
This social reality is truly a new one. Although twenty years ago, we all some degree of public perception to consider, it was nothing compared to what is normative today. People have access to moment by moment updates of your life, and at least in some part, people expect you to have some form of up to date social media presence.
I will not spend time here making an argument for or against social media, I simply make this point, to emphasize a growing challenge we face, more specifically for this conversation, a growing challenge people in the church face.
The Bible is filled with passages that talk about the importance of living in deep and real community with others. One of my favorite passages about this is, Hebrews 10:24,25 "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
We are supposed to be intentional about how we can encourage each other. We need to practice ways to love others, and find opportunities to be good to others. We need to be careful and not forget to spend meaningful time together, even though its easy to do. Instead, we need to encourage each other often.
So the real question is, how are we balancing our efforts in presenting a public persona and the more important need to develop and build deeper relationships? Are we being intentional with how we encourage others? Are we building close relationships? Are we being creative and consistent in stirring our friends toward love and good deeds?
I encourage you to consider, how faithful are you being in these real relationships, how close are you really to anyone? Are you leaning hard into the perception people have of you, or are you stirring others, and allowing them to stir you?
I would encourage you, that if as you reflect, you aren't happy with what you see, consider taking some steps today to change it.
It is easy to look at everyone else's vacations, meals, moments filled with laughter in all their posts, pictures, and shares; and come to two assumptions. One, our life is not as grand as everyone else's, and two, we should portray a picture of our life that seems far more appealing than it actually is.
This social reality is truly a new one. Although twenty years ago, we all some degree of public perception to consider, it was nothing compared to what is normative today. People have access to moment by moment updates of your life, and at least in some part, people expect you to have some form of up to date social media presence.
I will not spend time here making an argument for or against social media, I simply make this point, to emphasize a growing challenge we face, more specifically for this conversation, a growing challenge people in the church face.
The Bible is filled with passages that talk about the importance of living in deep and real community with others. One of my favorite passages about this is, Hebrews 10:24,25 "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
We are supposed to be intentional about how we can encourage each other. We need to practice ways to love others, and find opportunities to be good to others. We need to be careful and not forget to spend meaningful time together, even though its easy to do. Instead, we need to encourage each other often.
So the real question is, how are we balancing our efforts in presenting a public persona and the more important need to develop and build deeper relationships? Are we being intentional with how we encourage others? Are we building close relationships? Are we being creative and consistent in stirring our friends toward love and good deeds?
I encourage you to consider, how faithful are you being in these real relationships, how close are you really to anyone? Are you leaning hard into the perception people have of you, or are you stirring others, and allowing them to stir you?
I would encourage you, that if as you reflect, you aren't happy with what you see, consider taking some steps today to change it.
Wednesday, June 28, 2017
The Value of Us
Every healthy person I know would say there is value in having the influence of other people in their life. What people mean by this however, can be vastly different.
Many people see the value when it means having people that cheer them on. Others see the value in having people who are like-minded share ideas and thoughts amongst themselves. There are also people, although it is a smaller group, who enjoy friendships with people who see things differently than them, in order to see a different perspective.
These are all valuable and important relationships. Certainly none of them are bad, but there is another category I want to talk about.
Sometimes God will put people in our lives that we do not get along with, or we do not see eye to eye with. Our viewpoints on most topics are different and we even find conversations with them to be taxing or forced.
Even still, these relationships are extremely important. No, I am not a glutton for punishment, and no I don't believe meanness is a secret blessing. What I do believe is the we are meant to grow, and these types of relationships can be the ones that help us to grow the most.
James 1:2-4 says, Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
When someone is cheering me on, I want to believe it's true, so I am quick to accept their words as truth. When I see eye to eye on a topic with someone, I naturally see the strength in their argument, and will likely accept it as fact. When I get along with someone it's easy to see their perspective, and even if it's different than mine, see value in it.
When I am talking with someone that I don't naturally get along with, that I don't see eye to eye with, that I'm not sure if they're for me... this reveals some deeper truths about me. I know I'm supposed to love people even when they're different, do I? I know I'm supposed to serve others even when they aren't serving me, will I? I know I'm supposed see people as valuable even when I am unable to see the value plainly, can I?
There is incredible value to be found in community with others, whether in your church, your workplace, your community, or your home. Some of that value is found in the pressure and tension of these types of relationships.
My challenge to you is to consider how are you leaning into these types of connections. Do you write them off as odd, or misguided? Do you assume that you aren't meant to dialogue? Do you avoid them all together?
Maybe they won't ever be your closest friend or a trusted confidant, but maybe they will. One thing I know for sure, is they are not a mistake, and their presence in your life is not a coincidence. So what are you going to do about it?
Many people see the value when it means having people that cheer them on. Others see the value in having people who are like-minded share ideas and thoughts amongst themselves. There are also people, although it is a smaller group, who enjoy friendships with people who see things differently than them, in order to see a different perspective.
These are all valuable and important relationships. Certainly none of them are bad, but there is another category I want to talk about.
Sometimes God will put people in our lives that we do not get along with, or we do not see eye to eye with. Our viewpoints on most topics are different and we even find conversations with them to be taxing or forced.
Even still, these relationships are extremely important. No, I am not a glutton for punishment, and no I don't believe meanness is a secret blessing. What I do believe is the we are meant to grow, and these types of relationships can be the ones that help us to grow the most.
James 1:2-4 says, Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
When someone is cheering me on, I want to believe it's true, so I am quick to accept their words as truth. When I see eye to eye on a topic with someone, I naturally see the strength in their argument, and will likely accept it as fact. When I get along with someone it's easy to see their perspective, and even if it's different than mine, see value in it.
When I am talking with someone that I don't naturally get along with, that I don't see eye to eye with, that I'm not sure if they're for me... this reveals some deeper truths about me. I know I'm supposed to love people even when they're different, do I? I know I'm supposed to serve others even when they aren't serving me, will I? I know I'm supposed see people as valuable even when I am unable to see the value plainly, can I?
There is incredible value to be found in community with others, whether in your church, your workplace, your community, or your home. Some of that value is found in the pressure and tension of these types of relationships.
My challenge to you is to consider how are you leaning into these types of connections. Do you write them off as odd, or misguided? Do you assume that you aren't meant to dialogue? Do you avoid them all together?
Maybe they won't ever be your closest friend or a trusted confidant, but maybe they will. One thing I know for sure, is they are not a mistake, and their presence in your life is not a coincidence. So what are you going to do about it?
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Are You Planting or Staring at Your Seed?
A few weeks back, I was listening to a podcast, and the speaker spoke about the process of a seed. It encouraged me so much, and I've been thinking about it since then. I want to share with you some of what the speaker said, and some of what God has stirred in me since then.
When you look at a seed, it is obviously doing nothing, it doesn't show any signs of life, it doesn't show any promise, and if you didn't know any better, you would certainly not believe that it showed any potential for growth. Yet, we know, that the moment a seed is planted and watered, something remarkable happens. That seed comes to life, and the product of the planted and watered seed is something fruitful and far greater than the original seed on its own.
The application for our own spiritual lives are many, but I want to focus in on this. For many of us, when we look at our gifts, our talents, or abilities, we see nothing of value. We see something that seems to have no real life, and we struggle to believe that there is anything there worth seeing.
The unfortunate reality is, if we do nothing with what we've been given, that perspective is basically true.
The awesome reality is, if we do something with those gifts and talents, that perspective couldn't be further from the truth.
The only difference in these two realities is what we do with it. If we never plant the seeds God has given us, they'll never grow. If we never do something with the gifts God has given us, we will never see what He can do in and through them.
Stop staring at the seed, and start dreaming about what God might do with that seed once its planted.
God has given you so much, and the things God gives us, that we do something with, He multiplies. In Matthew 25:14-30 we read about three servants who are given talents. Two of them do something with it, and their talents are multiplied, and they are rewarded for it. The third does nothing with what they're given, and what they were given, was taken away.
What has God put in you? What has God gifted you with? What is in you that God is wanting to bless and encourage others with?
If you just stand there staring at the dead seed in your hand, you'll never know.
When you look at a seed, it is obviously doing nothing, it doesn't show any signs of life, it doesn't show any promise, and if you didn't know any better, you would certainly not believe that it showed any potential for growth. Yet, we know, that the moment a seed is planted and watered, something remarkable happens. That seed comes to life, and the product of the planted and watered seed is something fruitful and far greater than the original seed on its own.
The application for our own spiritual lives are many, but I want to focus in on this. For many of us, when we look at our gifts, our talents, or abilities, we see nothing of value. We see something that seems to have no real life, and we struggle to believe that there is anything there worth seeing.
The unfortunate reality is, if we do nothing with what we've been given, that perspective is basically true.
The awesome reality is, if we do something with those gifts and talents, that perspective couldn't be further from the truth.
The only difference in these two realities is what we do with it. If we never plant the seeds God has given us, they'll never grow. If we never do something with the gifts God has given us, we will never see what He can do in and through them.
Stop staring at the seed, and start dreaming about what God might do with that seed once its planted.
God has given you so much, and the things God gives us, that we do something with, He multiplies. In Matthew 25:14-30 we read about three servants who are given talents. Two of them do something with it, and their talents are multiplied, and they are rewarded for it. The third does nothing with what they're given, and what they were given, was taken away.
What has God put in you? What has God gifted you with? What is in you that God is wanting to bless and encourage others with?
If you just stand there staring at the dead seed in your hand, you'll never know.
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
More Than Knowing
Have you ever been getting ready in the morning, or laying your head on the pillow at night, and seemingly out of nowhere a voice of accusation comes to mind? You're brushing your teeth, thinking about all the things you need to do that day and this thought pops into your mind, "you're never going to amount to anything" or "no one really cares about you, they're just pretending." It takes the wind right out of your sails, it can even send you into a downward spiral for the rest of the day.
I have had many of these types of moments in my life, and over the last few years, I feel like I've been getting better at recognizing them for what they are, a distraction, and a lie. What I feel like God has been talking to me about this week though, is something I had never really considered, it has helped me so much, and I hope it helps you too.
When these thoughts come to mind, the best thing for us to do, is call them just what they are. They are a distraction, they are a lie, and to put it plainly, they are an attack. 1 Peter 5:8 says, Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. A harsh reality is, we have an enemy, and he doesn't fight fair. He waits for our guard to be down, and he knows just what kind of stuff will get our attention in all the wrong ways. So when we these distractions and attacks come, treat them with the time and respect they deserve... none.
This is the part I've been getting better at. When the voice comes, I don't accept it as truth, I don't dwell on it as important, I brush it to the side. If you haven't been able to do that yet, I encourage you, start taking these moments head on. Sometimes I even say it out loud, "that's a lie, many people love me. They prove it all the time with their words and actions." I will even reflect on moments of truth, moments of reality in my recent days and weeks that prove the accusation is a lie.
This is all great and good, but there is one more step that I am learning to try this week, and it's been awesome. I hope you find it as life changing as I have.
Even on days when I've done "well" in those moments, the truth is, the rest of the day I walk around with my head down a little. My perspective of myself is a little lower, and my tendency to believe an accusation or to take a criticism a little too seriously is way out of balance.
So here is the second part to fighting off these thoughts... walk through your day confident that this lie is simply a lie. Maybe a better way to put is, when these things are whispered to you, don't let any of it get on you! If it's a lie, then there is no reason to accept or receive any of it into your thoughts or perspective that day. Be aware of your conversations, be diligent to protect your thought life that day. This second part is where the real victory is found.
So if you've been fighting some mental battles, if you've been trying to shrug off some accusations, call them just what they are, a lie and a distraction. Then spend the rest of your day walking with confidence, not letting any of that garbage to get on you!
I have had many of these types of moments in my life, and over the last few years, I feel like I've been getting better at recognizing them for what they are, a distraction, and a lie. What I feel like God has been talking to me about this week though, is something I had never really considered, it has helped me so much, and I hope it helps you too.
When these thoughts come to mind, the best thing for us to do, is call them just what they are. They are a distraction, they are a lie, and to put it plainly, they are an attack. 1 Peter 5:8 says, Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. A harsh reality is, we have an enemy, and he doesn't fight fair. He waits for our guard to be down, and he knows just what kind of stuff will get our attention in all the wrong ways. So when we these distractions and attacks come, treat them with the time and respect they deserve... none.
This is the part I've been getting better at. When the voice comes, I don't accept it as truth, I don't dwell on it as important, I brush it to the side. If you haven't been able to do that yet, I encourage you, start taking these moments head on. Sometimes I even say it out loud, "that's a lie, many people love me. They prove it all the time with their words and actions." I will even reflect on moments of truth, moments of reality in my recent days and weeks that prove the accusation is a lie.
This is all great and good, but there is one more step that I am learning to try this week, and it's been awesome. I hope you find it as life changing as I have.
Even on days when I've done "well" in those moments, the truth is, the rest of the day I walk around with my head down a little. My perspective of myself is a little lower, and my tendency to believe an accusation or to take a criticism a little too seriously is way out of balance.
So here is the second part to fighting off these thoughts... walk through your day confident that this lie is simply a lie. Maybe a better way to put is, when these things are whispered to you, don't let any of it get on you! If it's a lie, then there is no reason to accept or receive any of it into your thoughts or perspective that day. Be aware of your conversations, be diligent to protect your thought life that day. This second part is where the real victory is found.
So if you've been fighting some mental battles, if you've been trying to shrug off some accusations, call them just what they are, a lie and a distraction. Then spend the rest of your day walking with confidence, not letting any of that garbage to get on you!
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Community For Both of Us
I was sitting in our monthly staff meeting today, and as I looked around the room, I was reminded of how much more comfortable I feel now sitting in that room, than I did a year ago.
I remember my first all staff meeting, looking around the room as people talked and laughed seemingly connected and comfortable. I however was completely intimidated feeling like I was sticking out like a sore thumb.
Over the last year, I have gotten to know the people in that room, heard their stories, met their families and gotten to know who they really are. Knowing them, has made me feel so much more comfortable around them. As they have let their guards down, and been vulnerable enough to be honest with me, I have felt more at ease.
It made me think, how willing to be vulnerable have I been? How much have I let my guard down? How much effort have I put in to make others feel more at ease?
My first thought, probably sounded a lot like yours. I don't like vulnerability, it makes me feel vulnerable. It's scary, it's risky, and it goes against my nature of self-preservation.
The stark reality however, is that is exactly how healthy community is built and is able to thrive over time. It's a conscious choice by the group to be real, to be honest, and to be vulnerable. In order for it to really work, those choices by whoever goes first, need to be reciprocated by the rest.
So that's my challenge to you and me today. Consider how vulnerable you have been. How willing have you been to let people know who you really are? How much risk have you been willing to take in order for others in your community to be a little more at ease?
There is so much encouragement and strength that is drawn from living in community, but in order for there to be community for both of us, we both need to put some work into it.
I remember my first all staff meeting, looking around the room as people talked and laughed seemingly connected and comfortable. I however was completely intimidated feeling like I was sticking out like a sore thumb.
Over the last year, I have gotten to know the people in that room, heard their stories, met their families and gotten to know who they really are. Knowing them, has made me feel so much more comfortable around them. As they have let their guards down, and been vulnerable enough to be honest with me, I have felt more at ease.
It made me think, how willing to be vulnerable have I been? How much have I let my guard down? How much effort have I put in to make others feel more at ease?
My first thought, probably sounded a lot like yours. I don't like vulnerability, it makes me feel vulnerable. It's scary, it's risky, and it goes against my nature of self-preservation.The stark reality however, is that is exactly how healthy community is built and is able to thrive over time. It's a conscious choice by the group to be real, to be honest, and to be vulnerable. In order for it to really work, those choices by whoever goes first, need to be reciprocated by the rest.
So that's my challenge to you and me today. Consider how vulnerable you have been. How willing have you been to let people know who you really are? How much risk have you been willing to take in order for others in your community to be a little more at ease?
There is so much encouragement and strength that is drawn from living in community, but in order for there to be community for both of us, we both need to put some work into it.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
If You're Going To Be Here a While
I have always been so amazed by the story of Paul and Silas in prison. It's found in Acts Chapter 16. These two are preaching and telling people about Jesus, and it upsets the religious leaders. So they are questioned, then beaten, arrested, and thrown in prison.
I have experienced judgement for my faith. I have been teased because I am a Christian. I have been left out of things because of what I do for a living. I have been called names because of what I believe. All of those things are basically nothing compared to what Paul and Silas are experiencing in this story.
These guys were beaten badly and then shackled.
How would I respond in that moment? I wonder if I would be angry? I wonder if I would feel sorry for myself? I wonder if I would be upset with God for allowing me to experience such a thing?
Look at how Paul and Silas responded. Acts 16:25 "About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them."
They responded by praying and praising God.
That's crazy.
More than the obviously amazing reality of how they responded with love for God, we see others saw their response as well.
I don't know what you're going through, or what you're facing right now; but I know there are many ways you could possibly be responding to it.
You and I may feel justified in our feeling sorry for ourselves in difficult seasons, we may feel justified in being angry for our circumstances, and maybe we have every right to be.
Yet, if we change our focus a little, God can do something pretty powerful with our circumstance.
If we choose to love God, to praise Him, and refuse to become bitter, people will see something really remarkable in us.
Find a Bible, or look it up online what happens next. Acts 16:25-34.
You may be walking through a difficult season or circumstance, you have been there a while, and you may be there a while longer. Since you're there, you might as well praise God where you are, you never know what He might do in you, for you, or in the life of someone else.
I have experienced judgement for my faith. I have been teased because I am a Christian. I have been left out of things because of what I do for a living. I have been called names because of what I believe. All of those things are basically nothing compared to what Paul and Silas are experiencing in this story.
These guys were beaten badly and then shackled.
How would I respond in that moment? I wonder if I would be angry? I wonder if I would feel sorry for myself? I wonder if I would be upset with God for allowing me to experience such a thing?
Look at how Paul and Silas responded. Acts 16:25 "About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them."
They responded by praying and praising God.
That's crazy.
More than the obviously amazing reality of how they responded with love for God, we see others saw their response as well.
I don't know what you're going through, or what you're facing right now; but I know there are many ways you could possibly be responding to it.
You and I may feel justified in our feeling sorry for ourselves in difficult seasons, we may feel justified in being angry for our circumstances, and maybe we have every right to be.
Yet, if we change our focus a little, God can do something pretty powerful with our circumstance.
If we choose to love God, to praise Him, and refuse to become bitter, people will see something really remarkable in us.
Find a Bible, or look it up online what happens next. Acts 16:25-34.
You may be walking through a difficult season or circumstance, you have been there a while, and you may be there a while longer. Since you're there, you might as well praise God where you are, you never know what He might do in you, for you, or in the life of someone else.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
What I would Say to the 20 Year Old Me
I have thought so many times, if I had a way to go back in time to talk with the 20 year old version of me, how many things I would say.
I would likely start off by just smacking me around for a while, but afterward, I would talk about priorities.
I would talk about what really matters, and what really doesn't. I would talk about marriage, and what it means to be a great husband, how it will feel a lot like hard work, but a spouse that you love unconditionally becomes your closest friend. I would talk about being a Dad, and what it takes to be consistent, how to love your kids how they need to be loved, not just what comes easy to you. I would talk about how you will never regret any effort you put into supporting your kids, but you will regret every opportunity you missed. I would talk about friendship, how the friends that selflessly want to see you grow are hard to find, so give back to them, and lean into them when you need to. I would talk about how no one was meant to be an island, and great friends make the most difficult of seasons much more bearable.
How much heartache I would save myself and others if I could go back and speak those things to the younger me.
Unfortunately, that opportunity is never going to come to me, or to you.
But don't just get frustrated, there is something great that you still can do.
Proverbs 13:20 says "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffer harm."
Even if you can't take all this information and share it with the 20 year old "you"; you can take this information and share it with a 20 year old someone.
God has given all of us a measure of wisdom. Through mistakes and victories, we learn things that help us to live more effectively. So share that information with the younger generation God has placed around you. Save them from some of the heartache you experienced. Save them from making the choices like the ones you made that hurt others.
In addition, God has given a measure of wisdom to those who are further down the road of life than you, listen to them, learn from them. After all, sticking solely to what you know, and only spending time with those who are in the same place as you, will cause you to "suffer harm."
I would likely start off by just smacking me around for a while, but afterward, I would talk about priorities.
I would talk about what really matters, and what really doesn't. I would talk about marriage, and what it means to be a great husband, how it will feel a lot like hard work, but a spouse that you love unconditionally becomes your closest friend. I would talk about being a Dad, and what it takes to be consistent, how to love your kids how they need to be loved, not just what comes easy to you. I would talk about how you will never regret any effort you put into supporting your kids, but you will regret every opportunity you missed. I would talk about friendship, how the friends that selflessly want to see you grow are hard to find, so give back to them, and lean into them when you need to. I would talk about how no one was meant to be an island, and great friends make the most difficult of seasons much more bearable.
How much heartache I would save myself and others if I could go back and speak those things to the younger me.
Unfortunately, that opportunity is never going to come to me, or to you.
But don't just get frustrated, there is something great that you still can do.
Proverbs 13:20 says "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools suffer harm."
Even if you can't take all this information and share it with the 20 year old "you"; you can take this information and share it with a 20 year old someone.God has given all of us a measure of wisdom. Through mistakes and victories, we learn things that help us to live more effectively. So share that information with the younger generation God has placed around you. Save them from some of the heartache you experienced. Save them from making the choices like the ones you made that hurt others.
In addition, God has given a measure of wisdom to those who are further down the road of life than you, listen to them, learn from them. After all, sticking solely to what you know, and only spending time with those who are in the same place as you, will cause you to "suffer harm."
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
What Matters Most to God?
I've had this thought stirring around in my head for weeks now, and it has been consuming my mind, and finding its way into several conversations and situations.
I was listening to a podcast, and the speaker made the passing statement, "What matters more to God than anything?"
I'm sure the rest of the podcast was awesome, but I don't remember any of it. My mind was captivated by this question.
What matters more to God than anything?
There are so many answers that come to mind. Faith for starters. God wants us to be a people of faith. Then other words came rushing in, obedience, forgiveness, and sacrifice.
Then it hit me, the answer is so simple. What matters more to God than anything? People.
People matter more to God than anything else. Not just a particular type of people, not people from a particular place, just people. All people.
This may seem like a pretty simple concept and not worth your read yet, but stick with me for a moment.
So how does this apply when you have conflict with someone? Well, you can't write them off, you can't vilify them, and you can't forget about them. They are extremely important to God, therefore, they should matter to you.
The same idea applies when you are helping friends work through difficulty. You can't push one friend away in order to draw the other close. They both matter.
As this phrase has been going through my head constantly the last couple weeks, I find myself challenged daily to forgive more, to let things go quickly, and to choose to try again with people, and to try again in difficult situations.
The ultimate goal is to see people as God sees them. To see them as incredibly valuable, and to fully grasp that just like you, they matter more to God than anything else.
I pray you are encouraged and challenged with this reality this week!
I was listening to a podcast, and the speaker made the passing statement, "What matters more to God than anything?"
I'm sure the rest of the podcast was awesome, but I don't remember any of it. My mind was captivated by this question.
What matters more to God than anything?
There are so many answers that come to mind. Faith for starters. God wants us to be a people of faith. Then other words came rushing in, obedience, forgiveness, and sacrifice.
Then it hit me, the answer is so simple. What matters more to God than anything? People.
People matter more to God than anything else. Not just a particular type of people, not people from a particular place, just people. All people.This may seem like a pretty simple concept and not worth your read yet, but stick with me for a moment.
So how does this apply when you have conflict with someone? Well, you can't write them off, you can't vilify them, and you can't forget about them. They are extremely important to God, therefore, they should matter to you.
The same idea applies when you are helping friends work through difficulty. You can't push one friend away in order to draw the other close. They both matter.
As this phrase has been going through my head constantly the last couple weeks, I find myself challenged daily to forgive more, to let things go quickly, and to choose to try again with people, and to try again in difficult situations.
The ultimate goal is to see people as God sees them. To see them as incredibly valuable, and to fully grasp that just like you, they matter more to God than anything else.
I pray you are encouraged and challenged with this reality this week!
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Slow Down and Deal With It
Change can be difficult, and although new seasons comes with new challenges, they also often bring new blessings.
The part I struggle the most with, is giving myself the opportunity to actually deal with the change and let it sink in.
Usually when one season is coming to an end, and a new one is starting, good or bad, I am trying to move on as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about what I'm losing or gaining, and I don't want to consider what I'll miss.
Change is coming, and I just want to get it over with.
Right now, our family is walking through some change. It's not necessarily major, but it's change none the less. We are moving from the home we have lived in for a few years, and looking to move into a new one.
I have been doing my normal thing of trying to stay busy and ignore all the complex emotional stuff. My wife however taught me a really important lesson this week.
We were packing the last of the small things we needed out of the house, and the kids were putting things in the car, and Treasa realized they all needed a chance to process this change.
We loved this house, we aren't moving because we aren't happy with it, we are moving because we are in a new season, and this house won't work for that.
Moving out of this house is hard, it's sad, and it's painful. We loved this house and had tons of great memories there.
So, Treasa got all the kids together in our living room, and just started talking everything through the reality we were facing. They talked a little, but mostly the kids just cried, they cried a lot. They talked about what they'll miss, and they asked again why we had to move. They expressed frustration, they talked about all that was going on in their head and their heart.
I sat there feeling helpless. Almost all my kids are crying, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I couldn't solve the problem with work or effort. I also knew I wasn't supposed to tell them, "Quit crying and get over it."
The truth was, this circumstance stinks, it hurts, and there is nothing we can do but just process and walk through it together.
The next day, there was a sense of finality to the change. Crying and talking about the situation was really uncomfortable for me, but it was incredibly helpful for my family.
I share all this to make this point; life will bring moments of difficulty. Allow some time for you and your loved ones involved to talk about it. Leave room for yourself to feel whatever you feel, and to say whatever you want to say. It may be uncomfortable, but in the long run, it's the best thing possible for you.
Philippians 4:6,7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heats and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I think this passage is quoted a lot to say, "Don't stress" but there is another message in here that is important for us to hear. "let your requests be made known to God."
God isn't asking us to pretend we don't experience ups and downs. Talk to Him, talk to others, work through it. Then come out the other side, ready to take on your new season.
The part I struggle the most with, is giving myself the opportunity to actually deal with the change and let it sink in.
Usually when one season is coming to an end, and a new one is starting, good or bad, I am trying to move on as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about what I'm losing or gaining, and I don't want to consider what I'll miss.
Change is coming, and I just want to get it over with.
Right now, our family is walking through some change. It's not necessarily major, but it's change none the less. We are moving from the home we have lived in for a few years, and looking to move into a new one.
I have been doing my normal thing of trying to stay busy and ignore all the complex emotional stuff. My wife however taught me a really important lesson this week.We were packing the last of the small things we needed out of the house, and the kids were putting things in the car, and Treasa realized they all needed a chance to process this change.
We loved this house, we aren't moving because we aren't happy with it, we are moving because we are in a new season, and this house won't work for that.
Moving out of this house is hard, it's sad, and it's painful. We loved this house and had tons of great memories there.
So, Treasa got all the kids together in our living room, and just started talking everything through the reality we were facing. They talked a little, but mostly the kids just cried, they cried a lot. They talked about what they'll miss, and they asked again why we had to move. They expressed frustration, they talked about all that was going on in their head and their heart.
I sat there feeling helpless. Almost all my kids are crying, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I couldn't solve the problem with work or effort. I also knew I wasn't supposed to tell them, "Quit crying and get over it."
The truth was, this circumstance stinks, it hurts, and there is nothing we can do but just process and walk through it together.
The next day, there was a sense of finality to the change. Crying and talking about the situation was really uncomfortable for me, but it was incredibly helpful for my family.
I share all this to make this point; life will bring moments of difficulty. Allow some time for you and your loved ones involved to talk about it. Leave room for yourself to feel whatever you feel, and to say whatever you want to say. It may be uncomfortable, but in the long run, it's the best thing possible for you.
Philippians 4:6,7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heats and your minds in Christ Jesus."
I think this passage is quoted a lot to say, "Don't stress" but there is another message in here that is important for us to hear. "let your requests be made known to God."
God isn't asking us to pretend we don't experience ups and downs. Talk to Him, talk to others, work through it. Then come out the other side, ready to take on your new season.
Tuesday, March 22, 2016
If That's Not Healthy, Nothing Is
One of the biggest shocks I experienced in my adult life, was the day I realized it wasn't my wife's job to make me happy, or to convince me everything will be okay, or to make me feel good about myself.
It caught me totally off guard and it was pretty tough for me to deal with.
If this is the first time you've heard this, or this idea comes as a shock to you, send me an email, I will talk you through the grieving process. Trust me, I feel your pain.
The bad news is, this is true for all of us. There is no person that carries the responsibility for our happiness and feelings of contentment.
The good news is, that doesn't mean we are alone in our pursuit of peace and joy.
The One who is meant to help us find peace in who we are, and to find joy in difficult seasons, is Jesus.
No one else can do that for us, but Him.
Unfortunately many of us search for relationships to fix these God-sized problems, and we find ourselves constantly disappointed. Or we put the pressure and weight of these issues on people who care about us, and again we find ourselves disappointed, and they find themselves overwhelmed.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
You ever feel weary or burdened? Yeah, me too.
Could you use some rest for your soul? I'm right there with you.
Jesus invites us to come to Him, to learn from Him, and in return He offers to teach us, to give us a lighter load, and rest.
So if you've been struggling in your relationships, or struggling with feelings of weight and weariness; come to Jesus. Focus on your relationship with Him, listen to what He says about you. Get that relationship close, and in good shape.
Truth is, if your relationship with Jesus isn't healthy, none of your others will be either.
It caught me totally off guard and it was pretty tough for me to deal with.
If this is the first time you've heard this, or this idea comes as a shock to you, send me an email, I will talk you through the grieving process. Trust me, I feel your pain.
The bad news is, this is true for all of us. There is no person that carries the responsibility for our happiness and feelings of contentment.
The good news is, that doesn't mean we are alone in our pursuit of peace and joy.
The One who is meant to help us find peace in who we are, and to find joy in difficult seasons, is Jesus.
No one else can do that for us, but Him.
Unfortunately many of us search for relationships to fix these God-sized problems, and we find ourselves constantly disappointed. Or we put the pressure and weight of these issues on people who care about us, and again we find ourselves disappointed, and they find themselves overwhelmed.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
You ever feel weary or burdened? Yeah, me too.
Could you use some rest for your soul? I'm right there with you.
Jesus invites us to come to Him, to learn from Him, and in return He offers to teach us, to give us a lighter load, and rest.
So if you've been struggling in your relationships, or struggling with feelings of weight and weariness; come to Jesus. Focus on your relationship with Him, listen to what He says about you. Get that relationship close, and in good shape.
Truth is, if your relationship with Jesus isn't healthy, none of your others will be either.
Wednesday, March 9, 2016
Different But Still Really Awesome
Today, I had the privilege of subbing in the afternoon for the Middle School History class at ECS. ECS is a private school that is an extension of our church.
I had lunch with all the Middle Schoolers, and then sat with the students afterward in their class as they worked on their projects.
I don't remember a lot about Middle School, but what I do remember is how insecure I was, and how terrified I was of someone not liking me, or pointing out something about me that I didn't like.
As I see these students I see a wide variety of personalities, temperaments, and talents. They are so different, but they are all so awesome.
The kids who keep trying to talk to me about anything other than class work are pretty hilarious and will make tremendous business leaders. The students who are coming up with impossibly complex ideas for their group project will be great inventors and creative minds. The ones who are constantly asking the class to quiet down, and reminding the students in their group to stay on topic, are showing strong signs of leadership. The ones who are taking the assignment very seriously no doubt have bright scholastic futures in front of them.
Since I am a Dad of kids this age, or close to it, it is easy for me to see the promise and bright future in these kids. I am far enough removed from this stage in life, that I can see the eventual product of the young men and women they will become.
I can't help but wonder if this is how God sees all of us. We can get so focused on our imperfections and differences today that we don't see the creation we are becoming, or the beauty of the journey we are on now. We are keenly aware of our weaknesses, and the weaknesses of those around us.
If we could just step back far enough to see the process we are in, and the growth we are experiencing we might get a glimpse into how God sees us. Not as perfect, or complete, but as awesome, and in process!
I had lunch with all the Middle Schoolers, and then sat with the students afterward in their class as they worked on their projects.I don't remember a lot about Middle School, but what I do remember is how insecure I was, and how terrified I was of someone not liking me, or pointing out something about me that I didn't like.
As I see these students I see a wide variety of personalities, temperaments, and talents. They are so different, but they are all so awesome.
The kids who keep trying to talk to me about anything other than class work are pretty hilarious and will make tremendous business leaders. The students who are coming up with impossibly complex ideas for their group project will be great inventors and creative minds. The ones who are constantly asking the class to quiet down, and reminding the students in their group to stay on topic, are showing strong signs of leadership. The ones who are taking the assignment very seriously no doubt have bright scholastic futures in front of them.
Since I am a Dad of kids this age, or close to it, it is easy for me to see the promise and bright future in these kids. I am far enough removed from this stage in life, that I can see the eventual product of the young men and women they will become.
I can't help but wonder if this is how God sees all of us. We can get so focused on our imperfections and differences today that we don't see the creation we are becoming, or the beauty of the journey we are on now. We are keenly aware of our weaknesses, and the weaknesses of those around us.
If we could just step back far enough to see the process we are in, and the growth we are experiencing we might get a glimpse into how God sees us. Not as perfect, or complete, but as awesome, and in process!
Tuesday, February 16, 2016
Stay Present in the Midst of the Rush
The last couple weeks of my life have been pretty crazy. It has felt like there is either something big happening, coming, or just getting over.
When I went to college, Treasa and I were pretty young, we had 3 kids, I was working full time, I was volunteering at a church about 20-30 hours a week, and taking a full, or more than full, class load. I was stupid busy. The problem was, there were courses I took at school, events I led at the church, trips I took with my family, that I don't even really remember. I was so busy, and so focused on getting things "done" I didn't slow down enough to enjoy what I was doing.
This isn't terribly new for me, being a minister at a life-giving church, a husband to a wonderful wife, and dad to 6 awesome kids keeps me pretty busy most of the time.
These days there is something I really try to focus on, even in midst of the crazy seasons. Slow down and be present in this moment.
When I went to college, Treasa and I were pretty young, we had 3 kids, I was working full time, I was volunteering at a church about 20-30 hours a week, and taking a full, or more than full, class load. I was stupid busy. The problem was, there were courses I took at school, events I led at the church, trips I took with my family, that I don't even really remember. I was so busy, and so focused on getting things "done" I didn't slow down enough to enjoy what I was doing.
In a world of goals, dreams, and deadlines, it's easy for us to get so focused on getting things accomplished, that we don't slow down enough to actually experience the beauty and the wonder of the moment we are in.
So this is my challenge to me, and to you...
Don't become so busy that you are just getting things done, running so quickly that you'll never even remember days like today.
Sure, take the world by storm; but do it while slowing down enough to have a meaningful conversation with your kids. Reach that goal you set for yourself; but do it while really absorbing the book you are reading, allow the thoughts stirring in your mind to sink in and take root.
Find the beauty in the tasks in front of you today, be present for them, engage deeply in conversation. You will be so glad you did.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Goals For the New Year
The New Year is here, and I've been thinking about how I want to approach 2016. I've always been goal setter, but maybe not in the traditional sense. For me, the new year is an opportunity to examine how I've been prioritizing, and make some adjustments along the way.
Before you think about turning away, I promise, this is not a "Exercise 3 times a week" list.
Okay, here is the list of things I am going to be focusing on in 2016.
1. Plan Vacations: Before you brush off this comment, I don't mean, take a couple trips, one to Disneyland, and one to Hawaii. That isn't my reality either. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be planning vacations. Maybe there are some friends, or family members you've been meaning to go visit. Take the time off, drive over and see them. Make some plans to check out the local sites, make a big deal of it. I've got some people in mind I'd like to see, and a couple cool camping trips in the works; a vacation is a vacation.
2. Planned Activities with my Kids: At the end of a long week, it's easy to simply live together, rather than taking time to do a family movie night, or playing a board game together. A weekend that just rolls by has far less a positive impact than a weekend where you plan at least one thing to do together. I personally love doing a big Saturday morning breakfast for the family. Play a game at table, have the kids help out. It's messy, but there are lots of laughs.
3. Go on Dates with My Wife: Having kids takes a lot of our time and energy, and even when people offer to watch kids, sometimes it's difficult to muster up the energy to get out do something. Every marriage needs time just the two of you alone, and it's even better if you can do something facing each other. Sitting quietly in a dark movie theater isn't exactly a great relationship building experience. Go to dinner, even do something out of the ordinary, check out a local band playing, go bowling. Just do something together, alone.
4. Read: If you wouldn't call yourself a reader, then don't try to bite off more than you can chew. Start off by reading a couple blogs each week. Take a few minutes to read an interesting article. Start there, and work your way up. You don't have to agree with everything you read, or soak it all up as truth; it will help sharpen your mind, and engage your imagination.
5. Trust Others: I am the last person to tell anyone how to do this. I just know I really struggle to trust people. I tend to question whether people are being honest, if they really care about me, and what their hidden motivation might be. This type of thinking is insulting to others, and it puts the breaks on any potential friendship you may have the opportunity to develop.
6. Do What I Feel is Right, No Matter What: What I specifically mean here is, don't wait for others to take the first step, or to approve of my action before making a move. I find myself weighing way too many of my decisions on what others seem to be doing. If I know I need to show kindness to someone else, I'm not going to wait for the other person to make the first step toward me.
7. Forgive Quickly: Forgiveness is hard to live out. Quick forgiveness is even harder, in fact it feels impossible at times. I guess the realization I'm coming to is, I know God wants me to forgive others eventually. So by waiting to forgive, all I'm doing is holding on to something I know I'll eventually let go of, so why wait? You are going to need people to forgive you this year, so forgive others... And do it fast.
8. Smaller Portions, More Exercise: I promise this is my only diet and exercise goal. This is something that is both important to me, and incredibly hard for me to be consistent on. So I'm setting a goal I know I can knock out of the park. When I order food, make myself a plate etc, I'm going to eat less. When I'm 80% finished with my meal, I'm going to stop eating. I have a gym membership, so I'm going to use it consistently, if that means once a week to start with, then that's where I'll start.
9. Stop to Celebrate: This one I really need to work on. I am such a big picture person, I am constantly thinking about what needs to be tackled down the road. With that comes the mistake of never celebrating what gets done. This is a really bad habit especially if you are leading teams. I need to stop and celebrate the finish lines we cross, the projects we wrap up, and the goals we achieve.
10. Mentor people, Be Mentored: If you're like me, it's difficult to imagine yourself a mentor. We are so aware of what we don't know, it's hard to imagine we know enough to help anyone else. Truth is, there is always someone who could benefit from spending time with you. So find someone who is a similar path to you, and a few years behind. Take them to coffee, ask lots of questions, and be the worlds greatest encourager. Then every once in a while, if needed, offer advice. As for being mentored, ask someone who you would like to learn from to spend time with them. Show up with great questions, be really transparent and honest, and apply what they suggest you try.
This is my list, what did I forget? What would you add or take off of your list?
Before you think about turning away, I promise, this is not a "Exercise 3 times a week" list.
Okay, here is the list of things I am going to be focusing on in 2016.
1. Plan Vacations: Before you brush off this comment, I don't mean, take a couple trips, one to Disneyland, and one to Hawaii. That isn't my reality either. That doesn't mean we shouldn't be planning vacations. Maybe there are some friends, or family members you've been meaning to go visit. Take the time off, drive over and see them. Make some plans to check out the local sites, make a big deal of it. I've got some people in mind I'd like to see, and a couple cool camping trips in the works; a vacation is a vacation.
2. Planned Activities with my Kids: At the end of a long week, it's easy to simply live together, rather than taking time to do a family movie night, or playing a board game together. A weekend that just rolls by has far less a positive impact than a weekend where you plan at least one thing to do together. I personally love doing a big Saturday morning breakfast for the family. Play a game at table, have the kids help out. It's messy, but there are lots of laughs.
4. Read: If you wouldn't call yourself a reader, then don't try to bite off more than you can chew. Start off by reading a couple blogs each week. Take a few minutes to read an interesting article. Start there, and work your way up. You don't have to agree with everything you read, or soak it all up as truth; it will help sharpen your mind, and engage your imagination.5. Trust Others: I am the last person to tell anyone how to do this. I just know I really struggle to trust people. I tend to question whether people are being honest, if they really care about me, and what their hidden motivation might be. This type of thinking is insulting to others, and it puts the breaks on any potential friendship you may have the opportunity to develop.
6. Do What I Feel is Right, No Matter What: What I specifically mean here is, don't wait for others to take the first step, or to approve of my action before making a move. I find myself weighing way too many of my decisions on what others seem to be doing. If I know I need to show kindness to someone else, I'm not going to wait for the other person to make the first step toward me.
9. Stop to Celebrate: This one I really need to work on. I am such a big picture person, I am constantly thinking about what needs to be tackled down the road. With that comes the mistake of never celebrating what gets done. This is a really bad habit especially if you are leading teams. I need to stop and celebrate the finish lines we cross, the projects we wrap up, and the goals we achieve.
10. Mentor people, Be Mentored: If you're like me, it's difficult to imagine yourself a mentor. We are so aware of what we don't know, it's hard to imagine we know enough to help anyone else. Truth is, there is always someone who could benefit from spending time with you. So find someone who is a similar path to you, and a few years behind. Take them to coffee, ask lots of questions, and be the worlds greatest encourager. Then every once in a while, if needed, offer advice. As for being mentored, ask someone who you would like to learn from to spend time with them. Show up with great questions, be really transparent and honest, and apply what they suggest you try.This is my list, what did I forget? What would you add or take off of your list?
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
An Idea That Would Change Everything
I want to talk to you about an issue that is really important to me, but some would label it as controversial.
I grew up in a medium sized middle class American town. I was surrounded by people that I would describe, and I know others would too, as good willed people, that love God and love others.
I say that to explain, I believe I grew up in a culture, that is similar to many Christian Americans.
Alright, here is the context of conversation I want to have with you today...
I grew up believing that women were less important, less valuable, and less capable than men.
Notice I did not say, "much less", but the amount of less, simply doesn't matter.
I have come to realize how wrong I was in this belief.
There are so many directions this conversation can go from here, and many of those conversations are well worth having. However, I would like to focus in on one particular idea that I am especially passionate about.
Here is my big idea.
If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.
It makes me sad when I hear people equate the Bible, or God's thoughts toward women as chauvinistic. I'm not arguing there weren't people in the Bible who were that way. The Old and New Testament are full of them, fact is, that way of thinking is still prevalent today, but that doesn't mean that is God's opinion.
Let me explain what I mean.
The first book and first chapter of the Bible, we find this verse. Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them." God created man and woman in His image. That means, the most accurate picture we can see of God, is found in the combination of both man and woman.
In the very next verse we see this. Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'"
God blessed both of them, and said to both of them, "I have a plan for you, multiply and take possession of the land."
God had a plan for men and women from the beginning.
Yet the unfortunate reality was, sin entered into the picture.
The result of sin, caused two types of division. Division between mankind and God, and division between men and women. More specifically, that division manifested as men ruling over women.
Since that time, God has been revealing his plan, and actively working to restore that division.
Why is it that people are excited about bridging the gap of separation between mankind and God, but they haven't considered the idea of healing the division between men and women?
Was one part of the curse meant to be restored to the original design, (mankind back in right relationship with God) and the other part of the curse was meant to be blessed? (men ruling over women)
The most quoted passage of Scripture speaks to the restoring of mankind to God. Certainly that is God's heart.
John 3:16,17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.
God's Word also speaks to restoring right relationship between men and women, along with all sorts of other types of division we have created.
Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
I believe God wants to restore our relationship with Him, and I believe God wants to restore the relationship between man and woman.
Now you may be reading this, and your mind is going to verses like Ephesians 5:23 Where it says, "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. " If that's you, I get it. My mind has gone there too. I applaud you for considering all of Scripture, and not wanting to build an idea on just one passage.
I ask that you stick with that same line of thinking, because as we talk through all of this, I want you to consider the bigger message that all Scripture communicates when looking at this passage and others like it.
Is this passage in Ephesians (and I encourage you to read the whole chapter) emphasizing an idea that men are more important or more valuable than women? Is it stating that men have greater capability, so God needs them to rule over women?
Or is this passage instructing men to love and lead their family like Jesus loves and leads the church?
I believe the second option to be true. So how does Jesus lead? He leads with sacrifice, grace, patience and selflessness.
This passage, especially in partnership with verse 25, is emphasizing the power of a godly man's sacrificial leadership of his family. This type of living is equated to how Christ loves the church, that is such an honor.
This passage is all about empowering men to lead like Jesus, that type of leadership is defined and modeled by Jesus through putting others first.
I don't believe this passage has anything to do with men ruling over women, nor is it asserting an idea that men are more valuable or capable than women.
I believe many of the passages people use to argue God's desire for men to rule over women, are tangled up due to an assumption about God's heart toward women, that simply isn't true.
I love dialogue, and I hope to have a lot regarding this topic, and I truly am interested in hearing your thoughts. But first please allow me to ask of you, one small favor.
As you are looking over those passages, I would like you to first say this simple statement to yourself, "God revealed His character and likeness through both men and women; in addition to that, God has always had a great plan for both men and women."
I believe, when we start with the assumption that God loves men and women equally, values them equally, and wants to bless them equally, we read Scripture with a better frame of mind.
I am not making the argument that men and women are the same, I think it's pretty obvious that men and women are different. You know who else is different? Men and men, and so are women and women. All people are different.
Treasa and I are indeed very different, but most of our differences aren't easily categorized as male or female. Treasa is far more bold than I am, I am much more sensitive to people's tone of voice, and their choice of words. These are not feminine, or masculine traits, they are human traits.
The fact that we are different, doesn't make one of us more important or valuable than the other.
Men and Women may be different, but God doesn't love them differently. He loves all of us completely.
Men and Women may be different, but the plans He has for us are the same. His plans for each of us are supernatural, they shape who we become, they change the culture around us, they reach out to the furthest parts of the world.
God may have given us different gifts, and the journey He has planned for us, is just as unique as we are. But His plans for all of us, men and women alike, are great.
Let's bring this back to my original thought. If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.
Picture this with me.
Imagine a world, where men and women alike, are fully convinced that God wants to use them in supernatural ways to change and impact the lives of others.
Imagine a world where godly men are energized and encouraged by the leadership and innovation of godly women.
Imagine a world where godly women never pause in fear of what godly men will think, as they choose to step out in faith following God's plan for them.
I believe that ultimately, change like this starts with an understanding that this is God's plan. That this was His plan from the beginning.
That's the world I want to live in. It's also the world I want my daughters and sons to live in.
So let's do our part to dispel the lie, that women are less important, less valuable, and less capable than men. Instead, let's remember God's original design.
Let me close with this. The most oppressed people group in all of history is women. It was true a couple thousand years ago, and it's still true today. How drastically different will this world look, when this pattern of oppression is broken?
I bet there isn't a single thought that scares the enemy more than that one.
Tell me what you think. Does any of this strike a chord with you? Share your thoughts and stories, I would love to hear them.
I grew up in a medium sized middle class American town. I was surrounded by people that I would describe, and I know others would too, as good willed people, that love God and love others.
I say that to explain, I believe I grew up in a culture, that is similar to many Christian Americans.
Alright, here is the context of conversation I want to have with you today...
I grew up believing that women were less important, less valuable, and less capable than men.
Notice I did not say, "much less", but the amount of less, simply doesn't matter.
I have come to realize how wrong I was in this belief.
There are so many directions this conversation can go from here, and many of those conversations are well worth having. However, I would like to focus in on one particular idea that I am especially passionate about.
Here is my big idea.
If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.
It makes me sad when I hear people equate the Bible, or God's thoughts toward women as chauvinistic. I'm not arguing there weren't people in the Bible who were that way. The Old and New Testament are full of them, fact is, that way of thinking is still prevalent today, but that doesn't mean that is God's opinion.
Let me explain what I mean.
The first book and first chapter of the Bible, we find this verse. Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them." God created man and woman in His image. That means, the most accurate picture we can see of God, is found in the combination of both man and woman.
In the very next verse we see this. Genesis 1:28 "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.'"
God blessed both of them, and said to both of them, "I have a plan for you, multiply and take possession of the land."
God had a plan for men and women from the beginning.
Yet the unfortunate reality was, sin entered into the picture.
The result of sin, caused two types of division. Division between mankind and God, and division between men and women. More specifically, that division manifested as men ruling over women.
Since that time, God has been revealing his plan, and actively working to restore that division.
Why is it that people are excited about bridging the gap of separation between mankind and God, but they haven't considered the idea of healing the division between men and women?
Was one part of the curse meant to be restored to the original design, (mankind back in right relationship with God) and the other part of the curse was meant to be blessed? (men ruling over women)
The most quoted passage of Scripture speaks to the restoring of mankind to God. Certainly that is God's heart.
John 3:16,17 For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.God's Word also speaks to restoring right relationship between men and women, along with all sorts of other types of division we have created.
Galatians 3:28 "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
I believe God wants to restore our relationship with Him, and I believe God wants to restore the relationship between man and woman.
Now you may be reading this, and your mind is going to verses like Ephesians 5:23 Where it says, "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. " If that's you, I get it. My mind has gone there too. I applaud you for considering all of Scripture, and not wanting to build an idea on just one passage.
I ask that you stick with that same line of thinking, because as we talk through all of this, I want you to consider the bigger message that all Scripture communicates when looking at this passage and others like it.
Is this passage in Ephesians (and I encourage you to read the whole chapter) emphasizing an idea that men are more important or more valuable than women? Is it stating that men have greater capability, so God needs them to rule over women?
Or is this passage instructing men to love and lead their family like Jesus loves and leads the church?
I believe the second option to be true. So how does Jesus lead? He leads with sacrifice, grace, patience and selflessness.
This passage, especially in partnership with verse 25, is emphasizing the power of a godly man's sacrificial leadership of his family. This type of living is equated to how Christ loves the church, that is such an honor.
This passage is all about empowering men to lead like Jesus, that type of leadership is defined and modeled by Jesus through putting others first.
I don't believe this passage has anything to do with men ruling over women, nor is it asserting an idea that men are more valuable or capable than women.
I believe many of the passages people use to argue God's desire for men to rule over women, are tangled up due to an assumption about God's heart toward women, that simply isn't true.
I love dialogue, and I hope to have a lot regarding this topic, and I truly am interested in hearing your thoughts. But first please allow me to ask of you, one small favor.
As you are looking over those passages, I would like you to first say this simple statement to yourself, "God revealed His character and likeness through both men and women; in addition to that, God has always had a great plan for both men and women."
I believe, when we start with the assumption that God loves men and women equally, values them equally, and wants to bless them equally, we read Scripture with a better frame of mind.
I am not making the argument that men and women are the same, I think it's pretty obvious that men and women are different. You know who else is different? Men and men, and so are women and women. All people are different.
Treasa and I are indeed very different, but most of our differences aren't easily categorized as male or female. Treasa is far more bold than I am, I am much more sensitive to people's tone of voice, and their choice of words. These are not feminine, or masculine traits, they are human traits.
The fact that we are different, doesn't make one of us more important or valuable than the other.
Men and Women may be different, but God doesn't love them differently. He loves all of us completely.
Men and Women may be different, but the plans He has for us are the same. His plans for each of us are supernatural, they shape who we become, they change the culture around us, they reach out to the furthest parts of the world.
God may have given us different gifts, and the journey He has planned for us, is just as unique as we are. But His plans for all of us, men and women alike, are great.
Let's bring this back to my original thought. If men in the church understood God's thoughts and plans for women, and if women in the church embraced the reality of God's thoughts and plans for them, this world would never be the same.
Picture this with me.
Imagine a world, where men and women alike, are fully convinced that God wants to use them in supernatural ways to change and impact the lives of others.
Imagine a world where godly men are energized and encouraged by the leadership and innovation of godly women.
Imagine a world where godly women never pause in fear of what godly men will think, as they choose to step out in faith following God's plan for them.
I believe that ultimately, change like this starts with an understanding that this is God's plan. That this was His plan from the beginning.
That's the world I want to live in. It's also the world I want my daughters and sons to live in.
So let's do our part to dispel the lie, that women are less important, less valuable, and less capable than men. Instead, let's remember God's original design.
Let me close with this. The most oppressed people group in all of history is women. It was true a couple thousand years ago, and it's still true today. How drastically different will this world look, when this pattern of oppression is broken?
I bet there isn't a single thought that scares the enemy more than that one.
Tell me what you think. Does any of this strike a chord with you? Share your thoughts and stories, I would love to hear them.
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Broken, But the Good Kind
I remember when I was younger I would listen to my older brother Geoff pray. I could hear him as he would pray just over his breath, and he would always finish his prayer with, "thank you for dumping my family."
Night after night, I would listen to him trying to figure out the context, discovering how dumping our family is a good thing. Finally one day, I decided to be brave, and try it out at the end of my prayer and see how things went. My mom was listening, so I figured some feedback might help. So in closing I said, "and God, thanks for dumping my family." My Mom was thrown a bit back, asking why I would say such a strange thing. I told her, "Geoff always says that at the end of his prayer." Without skipping a beat, my brother yelled from across the room, "thank you for what you've done for my family!"
I'm not sure how I got that so mixed up... but hey, it happened.
In the same way, we say things in the church, that are completely mysterious to someone visiting church for the first time, or new to church life. I think worship leaders are the best at this... "Thank you Jesus, we are broken before you, bowing at your feet, extolling You with the highest praise." I think to most of us in the room, we have tuned out such language as church language, but to the new family, that kind of prayer, at best weirds them out, at worst, it scares them a bit.
Changing how our worship leaders pray is a discussion I will avoid here, but I do want to focus in on one saying we hear a lot in the church.
Broken before God.
When you first hear this, it sounds like this painfully uncomfortable and aggressive thing. There may be some who disagree with me, but that's not at all what I picture when I think about being broken before God.
To me, broken before God is the choice to abandon all our normal plans and ideas of how we face difficult moments in life.
Here is what that prayer sounds like for me.
"God, I take all the temporary things I place my trust in, and throw them to the ground, like clay jars full of misplaced hope, I let them fall to the ground, shattering into pieces. Not my plans, not my strength God. Those things are broken, I stand before You trusting You, I am broken and waiting before you God."
Brokenness before God is actually a wonderful relief.
How have you viewed brokenness before God? What other "church phrases" have you come across that you aren't sure about?
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
Who He Is, Is Enough
This last week was a pretty crazy one for us. The expression, when it rains, it pours was very appropriate for our family. With Thanksgiving week being a shorter week for school and work, it was a get 5 days of work done in 3 days, kind of week.
Wednesday late afternoon, I was at work and Treasa text me to say our oldest son Isaiah wasn't feeling good, so she thought she should take him to Urgent Care. That way, if he needed some meds we didn't have to worry about getting them on Thanksgiving day. I thought it was a great idea, like most of her ideas, and I assumed that was the worst of it.
I was wrong.
Shortly after that text, I got another from Treasa saying they rushed Isaiah over to the ER. I dropped what I was doing at work, and rushed to the car and began to drive the 20-25 minutes to the hospital.
I was texting everyone I could think of, that I knew would pray, and that I figured would want to know. Between texts, I was doing a combination of crying, praying, and screaming to God. The best prayer I could come up with was, "Jesus, please heal my son." I said it a hundred times I am sure.
Then a thought came to my mind.
I began to change my prayer from, "Jesus, please heal my son." and I began to speak out the attributes I knew to be true about God. "God You are love, You are faithful, You are able, You love my son even more than I do, You can heal him, You have healed me and others I know before, You are not surprised by today, You are with me, You have awesome plans for Isaiah and his future."
I went from a place of fear and worry for my son, to a place of confidence in who God is. I knew God was in control. I didn't know how things would work out, and I won't say I knew God was going to heal Isaiah, but I knew who God was, and that was enough.
The next 24-48 hours were really rough. Isaiah had to get a lumbar puncture, IV's, shots, meds, and all that comes with a hospital stay. It was hard to see him endure all that, but I had a peace in my heart through all of it.
He is doing amazingly well now, and it seems like we are on the other side of the whole ordeal, but my peace didn't come after, it came during.
So here is my encouragement for you today, whatever you are facing, whatever you are walking through, take some time to focus on what you know about God. What do you know is true about Him? Speak those things out, say them with confidence, think on the times He has shown Himself faithful to you in the past. I believe, that even in the midst of difficulty, knowing who He is, is enough to help you get through.
What are some of things you have learned about God and His character that may help you or others? Please share them!
I am praying for you!
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
I Would Die For Them... Maybe
I remember overhearing a conversation between these two guys, a young man, and an older man. The younger man said, "I hope when I get older, I am kind and optimistic like you. I am just so afraid of turning out to be a grumpy old man." The older man's response stuck with me. "Friend, you won't grow up to be a grumpy old man. Grumpy old men, were grumpy young men. When you get older, you just become an older version of who you were as a younger man."
This concept stuck with me, and I think it applies to many aspects of our lives, but here is the overarching thought I want to share with you today.
We are, and we become, what we practice every day.
There is no moment when we just miraculously become more grumpy; but there also isn't a moment when we miraculously become more noble, more committed, more kind, or more loving.
I have heard people use the phrase, "I would die for them" many times. Often times it's in a moment when someone is making a dramatic statement to contrast their behavior. For instance, "I may not be real kind or real present for my wife and kids, but I would die for them."
The stark reality is, if you won't give up a TV show to talk to your kids or if you won't miss a football game to go on a date with your wife, you probably aren't going to die for them.
You don't miraculously become someone different in moments of great stress. The truth is, in moments of great stress, your true character shines through.
So here is my encouragement to you. Start today. Work today, apply today, strive today to become who you want to be when you are older, in moments of great stress.
How do we do that? By leaning into Jesus.
The first part of James 4:8 says it this way, "Come near to God and He will come near to you."
As we grow closer to God, we simultaneously become more like who God wants us to be, and become more like the person we want to be later in life, and in our present difficult moments.
Don't wait for your miraculous change to come out of nowhere. It doesn't come simply from an elongated amount of time. It comes from a daily commitment to change and grow closer to Jesus.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
Offer God Glory, Not Groaning
Sometimes life is so filled with difficulty, it's hard to see any bright spots shining through. But, most of the time life is a messy stew of good and bad, up and down, sickness and health, joy and sorrow.
During the times when life gives us the normal flow of good with bad, we have a choice in how we respond. We can focus on the good, or we can focus on the bad. We can dwell on the good, or we can dwell on the bad.
Before I go any further, let me say, I am not a proponent of "pretend like everything is great." I think we have all had our fill of canned religious responses.
"How are you today?" is often met with, "I am filled with joy and wonder, and thriving in faith and mercy!"
Let's be honest with ourselves and each other, and admit that life can be really hard sometimes; but when we understand the reality of God's presence with us, and the love He has for us, even the darkest times, aren't completely dark.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
Seems like kind of a crazy idea when you first read it. I don't think the author Paul is telling us to say, "Thanks God for my headache." I think a more accurate perspective is that, when things aren't going well, to thank God that you aren't alone and He is with you. When you experience loss, thank God that He gives so many great gifts.
It's more than the discipline of thanking God for what we have, even during tough times, it's reminding ourselves of where we stand. It's putting our focus on the big picture, not on the current struggle.
When we choose to give God glory, instead of groaning, it will change both our perspective, and our attitude.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Ups and Downs
I remember the first time I read about Elijah's story in 1 Kings 18 and 19 in the Old Testament. I was so blown away by what happened.
I was captivated by his ability to stand up and speak of his faith in God, even when he was surrounded by hundreds of people who passionately disagreed. My mind spun at the miracle that God accomplished of sending down fire to consume the altar and the sacrifice.
If you haven't read 1 Kings 18, you should stop right now and read it. Click here to check it out online if you don't have a Bible with you. Start in verse 20.
This part of the story was amazing to me. There is so much there to chew on, to consider, and to think about.
But this wasn't the part of the story that got my attention. It was the first part of the next chapter, chapter 19.
After all these amazing things, after the miracles and everything, Elijah heard someone was angry with him, and was coming after him; so he ran and hid.
The guy who just saw God send down fire from heaven, the guy who just stood in faith in front of a massive crowd, trusting God to do something amazing, ran and hid.
More than that, after he ran and hid, he sat under a bush and wished he was dead.
I was amazed at this part of the story. I think I was mostly captivated, because I completely related.
I have always found it disturbingly easy to go from feeling on top of the world, to unsure the sun will ever shine again. Maybe some of you have felt the same way?
Consider this though, the God who was faithful and there with Elijah in Chapter 18, was still with Elijah in Chapter 19.
The support, power, and love that God had available to Elijah hadn't changed. What changed was Elijah's focus. He was no longer looking to God, he was looking at his circumstance.
In the same way, we can become discouraged or disheartened when we look only at the circumstances around us, instead of to the God who is for us, the God who provides for us, the God who loves us.
So let me encourage you with this thought, instead of being driven by the circumstance of your day, good or bad, focus on the God who never changes, never forgets, and never leaves. When our eyes are fixed on Him, regardless of the challenge, we can stand confident and assured of Gods ability to take care of all that we need.
Keep your eyes on Him!
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