If You're Going To Be Here a While

I have always been so amazed by the story of Paul and Silas in prison. It's found in Acts Chapter 16. These two are preaching and telling people about Jesus, and it upsets the religious leaders. So they are questioned, then beaten, arrested, and thrown in prison.

I have experienced judgement for my faith. I have been teased because I am a Christian. I have been left out of things because of what I do for a living. I have been called names because of what I believe. All of those things are basically nothing compared to what Paul and Silas are experiencing in this story.

These guys were beaten badly and then shackled.

How would I respond in that moment? I wonder if I would be angry? I wonder if I would feel sorry for myself? I wonder if I would be upset with God for allowing me to experience such a thing?

Look at how Paul and Silas responded. Acts 16:25 "About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them."

They responded by praying and praising God.

That's crazy.

More than the obviously amazing reality of how they responded with love for God, we see others saw their response as well.

I don't know what you're going through, or what you're facing right now; but I know there are many ways you could possibly be responding to it.

You and I may feel justified in our feeling sorry for ourselves in difficult seasons, we may feel justified in being angry for our circumstances, and maybe we have every right to be.

Yet, if we change our focus a little, God can do something pretty powerful with our circumstance.

If we choose to love God, to praise Him, and refuse to become bitter, people will see something really remarkable in us.

Find a Bible, or look it up online what happens next. Acts 16:25-34.

You may be walking through a difficult season or circumstance, you have been there a while, and you may be there a while longer. Since you're there, you might as well praise God where you are, you never know what He might do in you, for you, or in the life of someone else.

Stay Present in the Midst of the Rush

The last couple weeks of my life have been pretty crazy. It has felt like there is either something big happening, coming, or just getting over. 

This isn't terribly new for me, being a minister at a life-giving church, a husband to a wonderful wife, and dad to 6 awesome kids keeps me pretty busy most of the time. 

These days there is something I really try to focus on, even in midst of the crazy seasons. Slow down and be present in this moment.

When I went to college, Treasa and I were pretty young, we had 3 kids, I was working full time, I was volunteering at a church about 20-30 hours a week, and taking a full, or more than full, class load. I was stupid busy. The problem was, there were courses I took at school, events I led at the church, trips I took with my family, that I don't even really remember. I was so busy, and so focused on getting things "done" I didn't slow down enough to enjoy what I was doing. 

In a world of goals, dreams, and deadlines, it's easy for us to get so focused on getting things accomplished, that we don't slow down enough to actually experience the beauty and the wonder of the moment we are in. 

So this is my challenge to me, and to you...

Don't become so busy that you are just getting things done, running so quickly that you'll never even remember days like today. 

Sure, take the world by storm; but do it while slowing down enough to have a meaningful conversation with your kids. Reach that goal you set for yourself; but do it while really absorbing the book you are reading, allow the thoughts stirring in your mind to sink in and take root. 

Find the beauty in the tasks in front of you today, be present for them, engage deeply in conversation. You will be so glad you did.

 

The Life of a Parent

I love being a Dad, it's something I wake up excited about, and I go to bed grateful for. Parenting does however, come with some challenges. 

Since my kids are often on my mind, there are times my mind plays out some interesting scenarios of problems that, "might happen some day" 

I had a thought this morning after dropping off my kids at school. I had this awesome conversation with my oldest daughter Priscilla. She is 11 years old, she is funny, witty, ridiculously creative, and strikingly beautiful. One of my favorite things about her is, she talks to me like i'm her friend. 

So this morning we were talking about what she is going to do with her free time during Christmas break. She talked about getting some rest, doing some baking with her Mom, hanging out with friends, and spending time doing some art. She used to paint more often, and she wants to take some time to paint during this break. I love that she thinks of things like that, when I was her age, I thought about TV, climbing trees, and food. 

After I dropped her and the other kids off, I was walking into work, and this thought came out of nowhere, and it totally freaked me out. 

Now I am about to be vulnerable here, so please don't judge me... 

I thought, "Since my daughter is so free thinking and artistic, there is a really good chance she is going to want a nose ring some day... What in the world am I supposed to do if that day comes!?" 

Now before you get carried away, I really am not bothered by tattoos, or piercings, or any of that stuff. My struggle wasn't with piercings, I was struggling with MY daughter having a nose ring. 

After allowing this idea to plague my mind for about an hour, I came to this conclusion. If that day does come, and during one of our talks, she mentions wanting a nose ring... I am going to be excited that my daughter is choosing to have that conversation with me, rather than being upset about a metal ring in her nose. 

Many of us will be spending time around family and friends during this Christmas season. I am sure you will find plenty of opportunities to argue about politics, religion, and each other's life-choices. I want to encourage you to instead, be glad that you have the opportunity to be there talking with them.

Whether your kids are grown and have their own kids, or your kids are still living under your roof, remember first to take the time to talk to them, and just be with them. 

After all, letting them see your support and presence in every type of circumstance, is a powerful act of love.

Push Through, You Might Be Surprised

When I first joined the Army, I had never really been into running. I played some sports, and was a pretty active kid, but never pushed myself or really worked hard at running.

In Basic Training, running isn't really a choice.

In Basic they would have three groups that would go out for runs in the morning. The A, the B, and the C group. A was the skinny long distance running people, B the middle of the road, and C those who really struggled. I went for group B. I didn't think much about it, I just figured that was the right group for me.

I remember a few days in, during one of our runs I thought to myself, "Maybe Basic won't be so bad, I can do this." No sooner had I finished that thought, my Drill Sergeant screamed at me, "Sabo! If I ever see you in B group again, I will destroy you!" That was his way of telling me, he felt I belonged in the A group.

From then on through Basic, I was pushed to my limit each day. Surrounded by skinny runners who found joy in it. It was a pretty difficult couple months.

After Basic Training, you go to something called, AIT, it is basically the schooling for your specific job; but school with Drill Sergeants. My first morning there I jumped into formation for the morning run, and began practicing in my mind what faces I could make that would make me look exhausted.

Just before we took off, our First Sergeant yelled to our Drill Sergeant, "Hold up!" "I smell a couple runners in this group..." He walked slowly through the group looking up and down all these soldiers, and yep, you guessed it, he stopped at me and said, "Soldier, you're mine now."

Our First Sergeant had a special running group called, "Quick Strike" This group ran with the First Sergeant, and that man loved to run... fast... and far.

For the next few weeks I felt like I was going to die. My lungs were always burning, my legs were always hurting. During these runs, our First Sergeant would always be yelling at us, "keep pushing through soldier, you may find a strength you didn't know you had."

At first it just felt like he was mocking my pain.

Then one day as we were running, I felt my body desperately wanting to quit; but there was this voice in my head, maybe there is a strength in me I didn't know I had. So I pushed, I pushed against my pain, I pushed against the burning in my lungs, I pushed through reason.

Then something happened I never expected. All the pain, all the burning almost completely faded away. It was like there was this switch inside me that decided what I used to consider great pain, was now just a mild inconvenience.

My First Sergeant pushed me to learn a really important lesson. When you refuse to quit, when you refuse to give up, when you choose to push through, you find something in you, that you didn't know was there.

The Bible says it this way, Isaiah 40:31 "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

So let me encourage you with this thought, push through. Whether it's a relationship, a job, or a goal, choose to push through.

It may feel impossible, it may seem like there is no way you can push through. So let me share those words that were shared with me.

"Keep pushing through soldier, you may find a strength you didn't know you had."

5 Things You Need, to Build Unity in Your Team

All of us are a part of some sort of team.

Whether it is your family, your co-workers, your church, or a club you belong to, everyone is a part of a team.

Unfortunately that doesn't mean everyone is a part of a healthy team, or a team that operates from a
place of unity.

Reality is, we all likely have a story about a toxic team, or an unhealthy environment we have been a part of.

One thing I am sure we could all agree on, unity is awesome and lack of unity isn't any fun. 

So here are 5 things, I believe will help any team, regardless of the type or size, grow in unity.  

1. Truth in Love

Many people choose to live on one side or the other of this issue. 

Some say they want to love people. So they only say nice things, and if they can't think of something encouraging, they choose to say nothing. They don't want to hurt people, so they stick to loving uplifting statements only.

The other group of people are the truth police. They walk around pointing out the faults and mistakes of others. They leave behind a trail of insecurity and hurt feelings, all while flying their banner of truth.

Both of these people are wrong. Real love means being honest with each other. Truth without love for people is just meanness. 

To be a part of a team that lives in unity, you need to commit to being honest with each other. This means communicating truthfully, but in a way that clearly expresses your care for the other person.   

2. Celebrate Each Others Ups

I remember a long time ago I was with a friend who was honored in a really cool way. He had done something pretty remarkable, and was received the kudos he was clearly due. The problem was, I was sick with envy and frustration that he was getting it. 

I found myself visibly upset, because someone else was getting praise. After that day, I committed to God I never wanted to find myself in that position ever again. I have since used my response to others victories as a meter for how healthy I am. If others are experiencing a great moment, and I am having to force a smile, there is some work that needs to be done in my heart. 

To have unity, you need to learn to be just as happy for your team members victory, as you are for your own. 

3. Grieve Each Others Downs

The other side of this issue is when your teammates are having a bad day, or experiencing a down moment. 

This principle works the same way, but in reverse. When your teammate is down, are you glad they are down and not you? Or do you want to help them back up? 

Use these moments as a self check. If you see them down and out, and you are having to fight off a smile, there is some serious work that needs to be done in your heart. 

You will never find a sense of unity if you aren't able to empathize with your team member in their low moments. 

4. Think Team Win, not the Individual Win

The natural follow up to these last two ideas is this simple concept. You have to view wins and losses as a team, not as individuals. If one of your team members is down, you are down too. If one of your team members is being celebrated, your team is being celebrated too.

This mentality will greatly help you in how you respond to your teams current circumstance. If you take your teams current standing personally, you will be invested in their ability to bounce back, and you will have a sense of personal accomplishment when they knock something out of the park.  

Unity is not only working together, it is realizing you rise and fall together as well. 

5. Make Room For Others

I think the underlining issue that makes some of these steps difficult to walk out, is we believe that there is only so much acclamation to be had. We believe there is only so many "atta boys" that can be given, and a very small platform for the victors. 

That simply isn't true.

There is room for all of us to succeed, there is room for many to shine. Even more than that, the team victory is so much better than individual one. 

This is my list of what it takes to make unity. What would you add to the list? Or what would you take off?

Pain with Vision is Easy

Growing up, I had this really awful habit. Whenever I felt like saying something, I said it. It didn't matter if it was none of my business, if it was hurtful to others, if I was only partially sure, or if I only had a small piece of the information.

If I could think it, I would say it.

As you can imagine, that brought on some difficult moments for me, and especially for those around me.

Since then, I have learned that just because something crossed my mind, does not in any way suggest I must say it.

Unfortunately, that is hard to do.

Have you ever had one of those moments? When you are sure your insight needs to be shared. Your perspective just has to be thrown in there. People need to know what you know.

But not really.

This lesson has become especially important now that I am a Dad.

It is hard to hold back something I want to say, when my brain is convinced I must say it. Unless the comment is directed at my 10 year old daughter.

When holding back a thought, or a comment will benefit someone I love, keeping my mouth shut becomes really easy. When the momentary pain of self-discipline will benefit the vision I have for a bright future for one of my kids, the decision becomes simple.

When we have clear vision, the momentary pain we experience has a purpose. Pain with a purpose is easy to endure.

Whether your issue is like mine, and you struggle to keep your mouth shut, or another issue like pushing on when you don't feel like it; let me offer you this piece of advice.

Seek to find a clear vision for your life, your relationships, and your future. If you have a vision for where you are wanting to go, or how you want to grow, or see a loved one grow, you will find the momentary pain you experience, easier to endure.

Pain with vision is easy to live with.

Patience Partnered with Love

You know that person that has a personality that just rubs you the wrong way? Maybe it's something insignificant like the sound of their voice, or whistle their nose makes. Maybe it's something a little more substantial like differing points of view on a topic you are passionate about, or they have said or done something that deeply affected you.

Whatever the reason, you find your patience stretched, and you are tempted to react in a way that normally you wouldn't.

We have all been there, and we have all reacted in a way we regret. So what are we supposed to do in these moments? It feels like we have done all we can, and we are ready to blow.

I have a suggestion for you to consider. You don't just have a patience problem, you also have a love problem.

1 Peter 4:8 says, "Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins."

Patience that is rooted in love, goes a lot further than patience that is rooted in self-discipline.

So the next time you find yourself feeling thin, and when you are tempted to react in a way you know you will regret later, consider this thought.

Ask God to increase your patience, but also ask that God would increase your love too.