What is Community Really?

I have heard recently that the new definition of regular church attendance is twice a month. I have also heard that a committed Christian will give you between 2 and 5 hours a week, including a Sunday, so make the best of that time.

Our world is speeding up, our commitments are growing, our stress levels are rising, and time is flying by. In light of all this, our need to unplug and rest is becoming more and more crucial. For many people Sunday is the one day that you can really disconnect and catch up on your peace.

I wont really take any time in this post to talk about what we are saying "yes" to, or how busy we really need to be. Yet, it is worth noting, for many of us, if we add up the weekly shows we stay up on, the amount of time we spend on social media watching, and how many hours we play a game on our phone or a console, there is some time to be recaptured.

The point I want to focus on, is what is the community the Bible describes we are to walk in, and how different would our world be if we walked in it.

Let me list some of the big points I want us to focus in on.

Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ."
Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how to spur each other on to love and good deeds."
Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
1 Corinthians 12:12-27 "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ..."
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

I list these passages to simply make a point, there is so much that the Bible talks about when it comes to walking in community with others. Don't think of it as a list of things we are supposed to do, rather, think of these things as a gift God has given us.

We can walk in community with others, not bearing our own burdens, but having them shared with others. When we are down, we can have people around us that encourage us to move forward. We are a part of something far greater than just ourselves. It continues from there, I'm sure you get the idea.

The question I want you to consider is, who are you walking in community with? Who counts on you? Who are you counting on? It may be possible that you are so busy and so preoccupied, that you aren't able to really even be in community with anyone. Whatever it is that may be standing in your way, take steps today to move forward into healthy, real, life changing community.

To See and Trust

In my life I have had the opportunity to work with a lot of different people, from all backgrounds, differing gifts, and all ages. Many times I have worked with them, but there are several times I have worked "for" them, and even some of them have worked "for" me. 

In light of this, there are a couple powerful realities I have observed. One is, it is a gift when you see someone, and realize and believe they can accomplish something well. We have all likely experienced this, when we are talking about an opportunity, or project, and someone says, "You would be perfect for this!" or perhaps, you've said it to others, as the realities of the challenge or opportunity become clear, you see the person, their gifts, their experience and come to the conclusion, they were made for this moment, that there isn't a better person to take it on. These are really great moments. It feels good to hear it, and it feels great to say it. 

Another observation is, it is a powerful choice to trust someone. Trust is a tricky thing. I confess for me, it is difficult for me to trust people. Part of that is, there are times I have allowed past experiences to shape how I see people; so at times, I don't start from a place of neutral trust gaining, I start from a place of mistrust. I don't think I'm alone in that, but that is a topic for another day. However, because of this, I am even more aware of what a gift trust really is. To look at a person, and say, "I believe you can do this, and do this well, and I'm going to walk away with the expectation that good things will come from you doing this, even though I'm not watching to observe." Now obviously, I over exaggerate the statement to make a point, that point being, trust looks like something. 

Romans 14:9 says, So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

We are called to build each other up, and I have found, these two words, are some of the most powerful in this venture. We build by seeing, and we make peace by trusting.

So my simple encouragement to you, is for you to consider, who are you really seeing? And who are you really trusting? If the answer is no one, is that the answer God would desire you? Who might have God put in your path to challenge you in this way?

Community For Both of Us

I was sitting in our monthly staff meeting today, and as I looked around the room, I was reminded of how much more comfortable I feel now sitting in that room, than I did a year ago.

I remember my first all staff meeting, looking around the room as people talked and laughed seemingly connected and comfortable. I however was completely intimidated feeling like I was sticking out like a sore thumb.

Over the last year, I have gotten to know the people in that room, heard their stories, met their families and gotten to know who they really are. Knowing them, has made me feel so much more comfortable around them. As they have let their guards down, and been vulnerable enough to be honest with me, I have felt more at ease.

It made me think, how willing to be vulnerable have I been? How much have I let my guard down? How much effort have I put in to make others feel more at ease?

My first thought, probably sounded a lot like yours. I don't like vulnerability, it makes me feel vulnerable. It's scary, it's risky, and it goes against my nature of self-preservation.

The stark reality however, is that is exactly how healthy community is built and is able to thrive over time. It's a conscious choice by the group to be real, to be honest, and to be vulnerable. In order for it to really work, those choices by whoever goes first, need to be reciprocated by the rest.

So that's my challenge to you and me today. Consider how vulnerable you have been. How willing have you been to let people know who you really are? How much risk have you been willing to take in order for others in your community to be a little more at ease?

There is so much encouragement and strength that is drawn from living in community, but in order for there to be community for both of us, we both need to put some work into it.

Slow Down and Deal With It

Change can be difficult, and although new seasons comes with new challenges, they also often bring new blessings.

The part I struggle the most with, is giving myself the opportunity to actually deal with the change and let it sink in.

Usually when one season is coming to an end, and a new one is starting, good or bad, I am trying to move on as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about what I'm losing or gaining, and I don't want to consider what I'll miss.

Change is coming, and I just want to get it over with.

Right now, our family is walking through some change. It's not necessarily major, but it's change none the less. We are moving from the home we have lived in for a few years, and looking to move into a new one.

I have been doing my normal thing of trying to stay busy and ignore all the complex emotional stuff. My wife however taught me a really important lesson this week.

We were packing the last of the small things we needed out of the house, and the kids were putting things in the car, and Treasa realized they all needed a chance to process this change.

We loved this house, we aren't moving because we aren't happy with it, we are moving because we are in a new season, and this house won't work for that.

Moving out of this house is hard, it's sad, and it's painful. We loved this house and had tons of great memories there.

So, Treasa got all the kids together in our living room, and just started talking everything through the reality we were facing. They talked a little, but mostly the kids just cried, they cried a lot. They talked about what they'll miss, and they asked again why we had to move. They expressed frustration, they talked about all that was going on in their head and their heart.

I sat there feeling helpless. Almost all my kids are crying, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I couldn't solve the problem with work or effort. I also knew I wasn't supposed to tell them, "Quit crying and get over it."

The truth was, this circumstance stinks, it hurts, and there is nothing we can do but just process and walk through it together.

The next day, there was a sense of finality to the change. Crying and talking about the situation was really uncomfortable for me, but it was incredibly helpful for my family.

I share all this to make this point; life will bring moments of difficulty. Allow some time for you and your loved ones involved to talk about it. Leave room for yourself to feel whatever you feel, and to say whatever you want to say. It may be uncomfortable, but in the long run, it's the best thing possible for you.

Philippians 4:6,7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heats and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I think this passage is quoted a lot to say, "Don't stress" but there is another message in here that is important for us to hear. "let your requests be made known to God."

God isn't asking us to pretend we don't experience ups and downs. Talk to Him, talk to others, work through it. Then come out the other side, ready to take on your new season.

What Matters Most

I heard someone say the other day that, "the church is the only organization where the members expect every need, every preference, and every obstacle to be fixed and met by the leadership." Essentially, this person was making the observation that the "church" or the people that go to a church have become convinced that the job of the church is to meet all their needs and desires.

This may not seem like a big deal, I mean after all haven't we all heard a friend or family member say, "I need to look for a new church, this one isn't meeting our needs." or, "I am looking for a church that really focuses on all the things that are important to us." or finally, "We are doing some church shopping to find a church that really does well in all the areas that are important to us." 

Maybe some of those statement you yourself have said, maybe they don't bother you at all, or maybe all three make your skin crawl. 

Regardless of your stance on these statements I want you to consider a few things. 

The Disciples followed Jesus for around 3 years. During that time, they saw Jesus do amazing things for all sorts of people. He healed, fed, and encouraged the poor, the rich, the wicked and the innocent. 

The Disciples really only found themselves getting into trouble when they did one thing... 

In Luke 9:46 and again in Luke 22:24 the Disciples are found arguing about which of them is the greatest. 

Jesus rebukes their thinking both times. 

The Disciples lost perspective when they began to think following Jesus was about them, and not about others.   

So let me encourage you with this thought; when you consider your faith, your walk with Jesus, how much of that is about you, and how much of that is about others?

Jesus wants to speak through you, He wants to bless others through you. Don't miss out on those opportunities by focusing on the wrong things. You will be so glad you did!

For more blogs by Daniel, please click here danielcsabo.com  

An Honest Conversation

Let's have an honest conversation.

If you have spent any time around me, you have heard me use this expression. Maybe even to an obnoxious degree.

Even still, I feel like it is such a crucial part to healthy living, and healthy relationships, I can't see myself changing that anytime soon.

There have been many times in my life, or in the life of close friends and family, where tension or a conflict has come up, and the best answer is simply an honest conversation.

Yet an honest conversation is not on their mind for a potential solution.

In the Old Testament there is a prophet named Samuel. Samuel was a good man, and a godly man. People respected him, and God trusted him. He did what he was supposed to, and people saw that.

The problem is, Samuel had a couple sons who were not like their dad. In fact, they were kind of the opposite of their dad.

So we see in 1 Samuel 8:5 God's people say to Samuel, "Behold, you are old and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations." 

Rather than talk to Samuel about the need to confront his sons, or relay the people's displeasure with how Samuel's sons were acting; they chose to make a major sweeping change of how they operate. They didn't want God to be their King any longer, they wanted a man for a king.

This story in Samuel is pretty complex with a lot of other factors to consider, but this big idea is pretty easily applicable to our daily lives.

How many times do we make a major change, or go out of our way to avoid someone rather than just talk about what is wrong?

How many friends or co-workers do you have that your stomach secretly turns as they do or say something you don't like? Why don't you say anything about it?

Life is messy, and complicated. Relationships at work or at home aren't any different. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try our best to work through and deal with the issues that come up along the way.

Sure, we should be gracious to each other when we have an off day. Yes, we should always choose to forgive when someone hurts or lets us down.

We should also commit to have honest conversations when there is tension or a difficult situation we are facing.

So here is my challenge to you. Sit down with your friend about what you are feeling, and talk to them about it. Sit down with your family member and express to them what you are seeing.

Approach the conversation with the desire to see things improve, or be restored.

It may feel uncomfortable, it may be awkward, and you may even word something in a way you didn't intend; but at least you are talking about it.

Choose to have an honest conversation, and you will see, it wasn't as bad as you thought, and it may even work out to be a benefit in disguise.

5 Things You Need, to Build Unity in Your Team

All of us are a part of some sort of team.

Whether it is your family, your co-workers, your church, or a club you belong to, everyone is a part of a team.

Unfortunately that doesn't mean everyone is a part of a healthy team, or a team that operates from a
place of unity.

Reality is, we all likely have a story about a toxic team, or an unhealthy environment we have been a part of.

One thing I am sure we could all agree on, unity is awesome and lack of unity isn't any fun. 

So here are 5 things, I believe will help any team, regardless of the type or size, grow in unity.  

1. Truth in Love

Many people choose to live on one side or the other of this issue. 

Some say they want to love people. So they only say nice things, and if they can't think of something encouraging, they choose to say nothing. They don't want to hurt people, so they stick to loving uplifting statements only.

The other group of people are the truth police. They walk around pointing out the faults and mistakes of others. They leave behind a trail of insecurity and hurt feelings, all while flying their banner of truth.

Both of these people are wrong. Real love means being honest with each other. Truth without love for people is just meanness. 

To be a part of a team that lives in unity, you need to commit to being honest with each other. This means communicating truthfully, but in a way that clearly expresses your care for the other person.   

2. Celebrate Each Others Ups

I remember a long time ago I was with a friend who was honored in a really cool way. He had done something pretty remarkable, and was received the kudos he was clearly due. The problem was, I was sick with envy and frustration that he was getting it. 

I found myself visibly upset, because someone else was getting praise. After that day, I committed to God I never wanted to find myself in that position ever again. I have since used my response to others victories as a meter for how healthy I am. If others are experiencing a great moment, and I am having to force a smile, there is some work that needs to be done in my heart. 

To have unity, you need to learn to be just as happy for your team members victory, as you are for your own. 

3. Grieve Each Others Downs

The other side of this issue is when your teammates are having a bad day, or experiencing a down moment. 

This principle works the same way, but in reverse. When your teammate is down, are you glad they are down and not you? Or do you want to help them back up? 

Use these moments as a self check. If you see them down and out, and you are having to fight off a smile, there is some serious work that needs to be done in your heart. 

You will never find a sense of unity if you aren't able to empathize with your team member in their low moments. 

4. Think Team Win, not the Individual Win

The natural follow up to these last two ideas is this simple concept. You have to view wins and losses as a team, not as individuals. If one of your team members is down, you are down too. If one of your team members is being celebrated, your team is being celebrated too.

This mentality will greatly help you in how you respond to your teams current circumstance. If you take your teams current standing personally, you will be invested in their ability to bounce back, and you will have a sense of personal accomplishment when they knock something out of the park.  

Unity is not only working together, it is realizing you rise and fall together as well. 

5. Make Room For Others

I think the underlining issue that makes some of these steps difficult to walk out, is we believe that there is only so much acclamation to be had. We believe there is only so many "atta boys" that can be given, and a very small platform for the victors. 

That simply isn't true.

There is room for all of us to succeed, there is room for many to shine. Even more than that, the team victory is so much better than individual one. 

This is my list of what it takes to make unity. What would you add to the list? Or what would you take off?