What is Community Really?

I have heard recently that the new definition of regular church attendance is twice a month. I have also heard that a committed Christian will give you between 2 and 5 hours a week, including a Sunday, so make the best of that time.

Our world is speeding up, our commitments are growing, our stress levels are rising, and time is flying by. In light of all this, our need to unplug and rest is becoming more and more crucial. For many people Sunday is the one day that you can really disconnect and catch up on your peace.

I wont really take any time in this post to talk about what we are saying "yes" to, or how busy we really need to be. Yet, it is worth noting, for many of us, if we add up the weekly shows we stay up on, the amount of time we spend on social media watching, and how many hours we play a game on our phone or a console, there is some time to be recaptured.

The point I want to focus on, is what is the community the Bible describes we are to walk in, and how different would our world be if we walked in it.

Let me list some of the big points I want us to focus in on.

Galatians 6:2 "Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ."
Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how to spur each other on to love and good deeds."
Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another."
1 Corinthians 12:12-27 "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ..."
James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective."

I list these passages to simply make a point, there is so much that the Bible talks about when it comes to walking in community with others. Don't think of it as a list of things we are supposed to do, rather, think of these things as a gift God has given us.

We can walk in community with others, not bearing our own burdens, but having them shared with others. When we are down, we can have people around us that encourage us to move forward. We are a part of something far greater than just ourselves. It continues from there, I'm sure you get the idea.

The question I want you to consider is, who are you walking in community with? Who counts on you? Who are you counting on? It may be possible that you are so busy and so preoccupied, that you aren't able to really even be in community with anyone. Whatever it is that may be standing in your way, take steps today to move forward into healthy, real, life changing community.

To See and Trust

In my life I have had the opportunity to work with a lot of different people, from all backgrounds, differing gifts, and all ages. Many times I have worked with them, but there are several times I have worked "for" them, and even some of them have worked "for" me. 

In light of this, there are a couple powerful realities I have observed. One is, it is a gift when you see someone, and realize and believe they can accomplish something well. We have all likely experienced this, when we are talking about an opportunity, or project, and someone says, "You would be perfect for this!" or perhaps, you've said it to others, as the realities of the challenge or opportunity become clear, you see the person, their gifts, their experience and come to the conclusion, they were made for this moment, that there isn't a better person to take it on. These are really great moments. It feels good to hear it, and it feels great to say it. 

Another observation is, it is a powerful choice to trust someone. Trust is a tricky thing. I confess for me, it is difficult for me to trust people. Part of that is, there are times I have allowed past experiences to shape how I see people; so at times, I don't start from a place of neutral trust gaining, I start from a place of mistrust. I don't think I'm alone in that, but that is a topic for another day. However, because of this, I am even more aware of what a gift trust really is. To look at a person, and say, "I believe you can do this, and do this well, and I'm going to walk away with the expectation that good things will come from you doing this, even though I'm not watching to observe." Now obviously, I over exaggerate the statement to make a point, that point being, trust looks like something. 

Romans 14:9 says, So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.

We are called to build each other up, and I have found, these two words, are some of the most powerful in this venture. We build by seeing, and we make peace by trusting.

So my simple encouragement to you, is for you to consider, who are you really seeing? And who are you really trusting? If the answer is no one, is that the answer God would desire you? Who might have God put in your path to challenge you in this way?

Living in the Unknown

Life comes in different seasons, and each season brings its own set of challenges. I have always been one who enjoyed a good challenge. Show me a mountain that can't be climbed, point out a wall that wont come down, and I am in.

However, recently there has been a glaring reality that I am having to face. The challenges I enjoy are the challenges I go after, but these are not necessarily the ones I need to face.

The truth I am facing is, I enjoy living in the known. I want to work on things that I understand, I want to grow in areas I am passionate about, I want to take up causes I have experience in.

God is showing me, there is also value in spending some time in the unknown. Growing in areas that I have no idea what to do, taking on challenges in arenas that I am completely unfamiliar.

Psalm 37:4-6 says "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as light, and your justice as the noonday."

This passage is pretty powerful, especially when you really slow down and look it.

"Commit your way to the Lord" It's not about asking God to bless my way; it's about committing my way to God and His will for me.

"Trust in him, and he will act" It's not about me conjuring up strength to do great things in the name of Jesus; it's about trusting Him, and knowing He will do what's needed.

The reality is, my focus, my trust, my eyes need to be on Jesus.

If I really believe that, I won't avoid the unknown.

I won't avoid the unknown because it's not about what I know.

Please allow me to encourage you with this thought, don't get preoccupied and focused on your comfort and knowledge. Instead, cling to Jesus. Cling to Him in every circumstance and in every season. Trust Him, and He will act.

If You're Going To Be Here a While

I have always been so amazed by the story of Paul and Silas in prison. It's found in Acts Chapter 16. These two are preaching and telling people about Jesus, and it upsets the religious leaders. So they are questioned, then beaten, arrested, and thrown in prison.

I have experienced judgement for my faith. I have been teased because I am a Christian. I have been left out of things because of what I do for a living. I have been called names because of what I believe. All of those things are basically nothing compared to what Paul and Silas are experiencing in this story.

These guys were beaten badly and then shackled.

How would I respond in that moment? I wonder if I would be angry? I wonder if I would feel sorry for myself? I wonder if I would be upset with God for allowing me to experience such a thing?

Look at how Paul and Silas responded. Acts 16:25 "About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them."

They responded by praying and praising God.

That's crazy.

More than the obviously amazing reality of how they responded with love for God, we see others saw their response as well.

I don't know what you're going through, or what you're facing right now; but I know there are many ways you could possibly be responding to it.

You and I may feel justified in our feeling sorry for ourselves in difficult seasons, we may feel justified in being angry for our circumstances, and maybe we have every right to be.

Yet, if we change our focus a little, God can do something pretty powerful with our circumstance.

If we choose to love God, to praise Him, and refuse to become bitter, people will see something really remarkable in us.

Find a Bible, or look it up online what happens next. Acts 16:25-34.

You may be walking through a difficult season or circumstance, you have been there a while, and you may be there a while longer. Since you're there, you might as well praise God where you are, you never know what He might do in you, for you, or in the life of someone else.

Slow Down and Deal With It

Change can be difficult, and although new seasons comes with new challenges, they also often bring new blessings.

The part I struggle the most with, is giving myself the opportunity to actually deal with the change and let it sink in.

Usually when one season is coming to an end, and a new one is starting, good or bad, I am trying to move on as quickly as possible. I don't want to think about what I'm losing or gaining, and I don't want to consider what I'll miss.

Change is coming, and I just want to get it over with.

Right now, our family is walking through some change. It's not necessarily major, but it's change none the less. We are moving from the home we have lived in for a few years, and looking to move into a new one.

I have been doing my normal thing of trying to stay busy and ignore all the complex emotional stuff. My wife however taught me a really important lesson this week.

We were packing the last of the small things we needed out of the house, and the kids were putting things in the car, and Treasa realized they all needed a chance to process this change.

We loved this house, we aren't moving because we aren't happy with it, we are moving because we are in a new season, and this house won't work for that.

Moving out of this house is hard, it's sad, and it's painful. We loved this house and had tons of great memories there.

So, Treasa got all the kids together in our living room, and just started talking everything through the reality we were facing. They talked a little, but mostly the kids just cried, they cried a lot. They talked about what they'll miss, and they asked again why we had to move. They expressed frustration, they talked about all that was going on in their head and their heart.

I sat there feeling helpless. Almost all my kids are crying, and there is nothing I can do to fix it. I couldn't solve the problem with work or effort. I also knew I wasn't supposed to tell them, "Quit crying and get over it."

The truth was, this circumstance stinks, it hurts, and there is nothing we can do but just process and walk through it together.

The next day, there was a sense of finality to the change. Crying and talking about the situation was really uncomfortable for me, but it was incredibly helpful for my family.

I share all this to make this point; life will bring moments of difficulty. Allow some time for you and your loved ones involved to talk about it. Leave room for yourself to feel whatever you feel, and to say whatever you want to say. It may be uncomfortable, but in the long run, it's the best thing possible for you.

Philippians 4:6,7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heats and your minds in Christ Jesus."

I think this passage is quoted a lot to say, "Don't stress" but there is another message in here that is important for us to hear. "let your requests be made known to God."

God isn't asking us to pretend we don't experience ups and downs. Talk to Him, talk to others, work through it. Then come out the other side, ready to take on your new season.

Even When You Can't Tell If He's There

Most of my kids are old enough to ride bikes now, and each of them learned at different paces. Some seemed to just wake up one day with the ability to ride a bike, while others took some coaching and some help. 

One of my sons was capable of riding his bike pretty quickly, but would not attempt to ride without me running along side his bike, while holding his seat. If he even suspected that I had let go, he would stop, put his foot down and scold me for putting his life in danger. 

I don't remember exactly how long it was before he tried on his own, but it was a while. For days we would go out, I would run, and he would ride. 

He was certain he wasn't ready, or able to do it on his own; I was certain he was more than capable, and just needed to have some faith in himself. 

I think that's a bit how our relationship with God goes. 

We are faced with a challenge, that we will not attempt to do on our own, unless we are sure God, or someone else is standing right there making sure we don't fall. 

This has certainly been true in my life. In fact that was true as recently as this morning. I woke up today considering a circumstance I am facing, convinced I couldn't do it on my own. I wasn't even sure where to start. 

Then this picture came to mind. My son was convinced it was impossible for him to ride a bike. That there was something uniquely different about him, that would not allow him to ever learn to ride a bike. 

I knew he could, I knew he was so much more capable than he understood. 

More than all of that, the worst that could happen, was he could attempt to ride his bike, and fall. Yes, it would hurt, and yes it might even be embarrassing; but he would get back up, and I would be right there to help him.

I want to encourage you to consider this idea with whatever challenges you may be facing right now. You may be convinced there is no way you can face this on your own. You may be certain that if you try, you will certainly fail. 

First, you are far more capable, and far more gifted than you know. Second, God is right there. He is close by cheering you on, confident in you accomplishing more than you dare to dream for yourself; and even if you do fall along the way, He will be there to help you back up. 

Life can come at us in waves. Some of those waves seem impossible to face. I want to encourage you to accept that there is more in you than you know, and God is with you, even when you can't tell if He is. 

 

If That's Not Healthy, Nothing Is

One of the biggest shocks I experienced in my adult life, was the day I realized it wasn't my wife's job to make me happy, or to convince me everything will be okay, or to make me feel good about myself.

It caught me totally off guard and it was pretty tough for me to deal with.

If this is the first time you've heard this, or this idea comes as a shock to you, send me an email, I will talk you through the grieving process. Trust me, I feel your pain.

The bad news is, this is true for all of us. There is no person that carries the responsibility for our happiness and feelings of contentment.

The good news is, that doesn't mean we are alone in our pursuit of peace and joy.

The One who is meant to help us find peace in who we are, and to find joy in difficult seasons, is Jesus.

No one else can do that for us, but Him.

Unfortunately many of us search for relationships to fix these God-sized problems, and we find ourselves constantly disappointed. Or we put the pressure and weight of these issues on people who care about us, and again we find ourselves disappointed, and they find themselves overwhelmed.

Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

You ever feel weary or burdened? Yeah, me too.

Could you use some rest for your soul? I'm right there with you.

Jesus invites us to come to Him, to learn from Him, and in return He offers to teach us, to give us a lighter load, and rest.

So if you've been struggling in your relationships, or struggling with feelings of weight and weariness; come to Jesus. Focus on your relationship with Him, listen to what He says about you. Get that relationship close, and in good shape.

Truth is, if your relationship with Jesus isn't healthy, none of your others will be either.

The Value of Being Wrong

Like most people, I hate being wrong. I especially hate being wrong when I was almost certain I was right, or when it comes out of nowhere.

Today I had a really great conversation with a friend. It started out as just a normal conversation. We talked about life, told stories, shared experiences; and both of us allowed each other to ask deeper questions, and to speak to some pretty sensitive issues.

It was half scary, and half really enjoyable.

Through our conversation my friend began to see a pattern in some of my story that shined light on some areas that I had not seen before.

He chose to do something that was pretty daring.

Rather than letting it go, or avoiding a potentially uncomfortable conversation, he pointed it out to me. Not in a mean or judgmental way, he shared it carefully and in a kind manner.

I would love to tell you, when he presented it, I embraced it with a smile, and thanked him for his honesty. Instead, I met it with a little bit of defensiveness, and hesitancy.

I would like a little bit of credit that I did eventually come around though...

I love this passage Proverbs 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy."

Please don't misunderstand, I'm not saying my friend "wounded" me. I am saying he had a conversation that wasn't flowery or complimentary, and I guess if there was any wounds, it was to my ego.

The part I want you to see is, this conversation was an example of kindness and love.

I want to encourage you, be in relationship with people who care enough about you to tell you the truth. Don't just surround yourself with people that only say what makes you feel good.

In the end, these types of honest conversations are what help us to grow, and move us forward.

It may sting, but it is so worth it!

Their Responsibility or Mine?

Do you ever worry that someone you love, will one day cease to love you back? Do you ever question whether your best friend, wants to stay your best friend? Does your mind race with doubt of whether the person you look up to, thinks you have what it takes?

I am sure all of us, on more than one occasion, has doubted that our loved ones will love us always. Part of the reason why we doubt, is we have experienced hurt or heart ache more than once; so it's easy to believe it will happen again.

The real question we need to ask ourselves, is what do we do when those types of thoughts come rushing in?

Often times our knee jerk reaction is to simply ask the people around us, "Do you still love me?" "Will you always be my friend?" "Do you think I have what it takes?"

Seems like an easy, nice and tidy fix.

The problem is, when we deal with feelings in this way only, we are putting the pressure to resolve our feelings on someone else. Most of the time, it is our own responsibility to work through those thoughts and feelings with God.

If I feel insecure, it is not my wife's or my friend's job to encourage that insecurity out of me. If I feel unsure of someone's respect for me, it is not their job to constantly remind me they respect me until I am no longer unsure.

Often times, the negative thoughts or feelings we are experiencing in our relationships are a reflection of something in us that needs to change.

If you find yourself constantly wondering if your friends and family value who you are, take a moment and process that with God, in light of His Word.

In Matthew 10, Jesus is talking to the disciples about how to deal with their fear of persecution. He reminds the disciples that not even a bird falls out of the sky dead, without God knowing about it. So if God is that concerned and attentive to the birds of the air, how much more is His mind toward us, the pride of His creation?

Matthew 10:31 "Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

To put it plainly, you are incredibly valuable. When you don't feel valuable, you're wrong... you are valuable. If your friends or family treat you like you have no value... they are wrong to do so, you are valuable.

This may seem like a over simplified approach, but I encourage you to try it. When your mind gets stuck on one of those ugly thoughts, and you begin to reach out to ask someone else to put your mind at ease; pause first, take it to God, and see what He says about the issue.

I believe you will find, that not only will God help you through that one moment, He will help you avoid future moments like that one. He will remove the root of your doubt or fear, so those types of thoughts no longer return.

The Life of a Parent

I love being a Dad, it's something I wake up excited about, and I go to bed grateful for. Parenting does however, come with some challenges. 

Since my kids are often on my mind, there are times my mind plays out some interesting scenarios of problems that, "might happen some day" 

I had a thought this morning after dropping off my kids at school. I had this awesome conversation with my oldest daughter Priscilla. She is 11 years old, she is funny, witty, ridiculously creative, and strikingly beautiful. One of my favorite things about her is, she talks to me like i'm her friend. 

So this morning we were talking about what she is going to do with her free time during Christmas break. She talked about getting some rest, doing some baking with her Mom, hanging out with friends, and spending time doing some art. She used to paint more often, and she wants to take some time to paint during this break. I love that she thinks of things like that, when I was her age, I thought about TV, climbing trees, and food. 

After I dropped her and the other kids off, I was walking into work, and this thought came out of nowhere, and it totally freaked me out. 

Now I am about to be vulnerable here, so please don't judge me... 

I thought, "Since my daughter is so free thinking and artistic, there is a really good chance she is going to want a nose ring some day... What in the world am I supposed to do if that day comes!?" 

Now before you get carried away, I really am not bothered by tattoos, or piercings, or any of that stuff. My struggle wasn't with piercings, I was struggling with MY daughter having a nose ring. 

After allowing this idea to plague my mind for about an hour, I came to this conclusion. If that day does come, and during one of our talks, she mentions wanting a nose ring... I am going to be excited that my daughter is choosing to have that conversation with me, rather than being upset about a metal ring in her nose. 

Many of us will be spending time around family and friends during this Christmas season. I am sure you will find plenty of opportunities to argue about politics, religion, and each other's life-choices. I want to encourage you to instead, be glad that you have the opportunity to be there talking with them.

Whether your kids are grown and have their own kids, or your kids are still living under your roof, remember first to take the time to talk to them, and just be with them. 

After all, letting them see your support and presence in every type of circumstance, is a powerful act of love.

Broken, But the Good Kind

I remember when I was younger I would listen to my older brother Geoff pray. I could hear him as he would pray just over his breath, and he would always finish his prayer with, "thank you for dumping my family."  

Night after night, I would listen to him trying to figure out the context, discovering how dumping our family is a good thing. Finally one day, I decided to be brave, and try it out at the end of my prayer and see how things went. My mom was listening, so I figured some feedback might help. So in closing I said, "and God, thanks for dumping my family." My Mom was thrown a bit back, asking why I would say such a strange thing. I told her, "Geoff always says that at the end of his prayer." Without skipping a beat, my brother yelled from across the room, "thank you for what you've done for my family!" 

I'm not sure how I got that so mixed up... but hey, it happened. 

In the same way, we say things in the church, that are completely mysterious to someone visiting church for the first time, or new to church life. I think worship leaders are the best at this... "Thank you Jesus, we are broken before you, bowing at your feet, extolling You with the highest praise." I think to most of us in the room, we have tuned out such language as church language, but to the new family, that kind of prayer, at best weirds them out, at worst, it scares them a bit. 

Changing how our worship leaders pray is a discussion I will avoid here, but I do want to focus in on one saying we hear a lot in the church. 

Broken before God. 

When you first hear this, it sounds like this painfully uncomfortable and aggressive thing. There may be some who disagree with me, but that's not at all what I picture when I think about being broken before God.

To me, broken before God is the choice to abandon all our normal plans and ideas of how we face difficult moments in life. 

Here is what that prayer sounds like for me.

"God, I take all the temporary things I place my trust in, and throw them to the ground, like clay jars full of misplaced hope, I let them fall to the ground, shattering into pieces.  Not my plans, not my strength God. Those things are broken, I stand before You trusting You, I am broken and waiting before you God." 

Brokenness before God is actually a wonderful relief. 

How have you viewed brokenness before God? What other "church phrases" have you come across that you aren't sure about?

Who He Is, Is Enough

This last week was a pretty crazy one for us. The expression, when it rains, it pours was very appropriate for our family. With Thanksgiving week being a shorter week for school and work, it was a get 5 days of work done in 3 days, kind of week. 

Wednesday late afternoon, I was at work and Treasa text me to say our oldest son Isaiah wasn't feeling good, so she thought she should take him to Urgent Care. That way, if he needed some meds we didn't have to worry about getting them on Thanksgiving day. I thought it was a great idea, like most of her ideas, and I assumed that was the worst of it. 

I was wrong. 

Shortly after that text, I got another from Treasa saying they rushed Isaiah over to the ER. I dropped what I was doing at work, and rushed to the car and began to drive the 20-25 minutes to the hospital. 

I was texting everyone I could think of, that I knew would pray, and that I figured would want to know. Between texts, I was doing a combination of crying, praying, and screaming to God. The best prayer I could come up with was, "Jesus, please heal my son." I said it a hundred times I am sure. 

Then a thought came to my mind. 

I began to change my prayer from, "Jesus, please heal my son." and I began to speak out the attributes I knew to be true about God. "God You are love, You are faithful, You are able, You love my son even more than I do, You can heal him, You have healed me and others I know before, You are not surprised by today, You are with me, You have awesome plans for Isaiah and his future."

I went from a place of fear and worry for my son, to a place of confidence in who God is. I knew God was in control. I didn't know how things would work out, and I won't say I knew God was going to heal Isaiah, but I knew who God was, and that was enough. 

The next 24-48 hours were really rough. Isaiah had to get a lumbar puncture, IV's, shots, meds, and all that comes with a hospital stay. It was hard to see him endure all that, but I had a peace in my heart through all of it. 

He is doing amazingly well now, and it seems like we are on the other side of the whole ordeal, but my peace didn't come after, it came during. 

So here is my encouragement for you today, whatever you are facing, whatever you are walking through, take some time to focus on what you know about God. What do you know is true about Him? Speak those things out, say them with confidence, think on the times He has shown Himself faithful to you in the past. I believe, that even in the midst of difficulty, knowing who He is, is enough to help you get through. 

What are some of things you have learned about God and His character that may help you or others? Please share them!

I am praying for you!

Serving Takes Courage

I'm not sure if you feel this way too, but there are times when serving others is really hard to do.

Sure, there are many times doing something for someone else gives us that warm gushy feeling, and we really enjoy it; but there are times when serving someone else, sparks an inner war of conflict that seems un-winnable. 

I think there are a plethora of reasons why we struggle to serve others. Sometimes it's a person we aren't really fond of, sometimes the timing is just awful, and sometimes we are in a mood where "nice" isn't really on our radar. 

One of the biggest culprits I have experienced personally, is when the person I am serving doesn't seem very grateful that I am helping them. They ask for help, and I go the extra mile to help them, and their response looks like, "I owed them" rather than, "they appreciate it." I confess, that is hard for me. 

A great quote that helps me with that is, "The best way to see if you truly have a servant's heart, is how you respond when someone treats you like a servant." 

Ouch.

When we boil it all down, serving isn't about us, it's about others. So when people respond in a way that doesn't recognize our service, or if they act like people who aren't worthy of service, that makes it difficult, but it shouldn't change our mind about serving.

Service isn't about the one doing the serving, it's about the one they serve, and more importantly about the one Who has called us to service.

Matthew 20:28 puts it this way, Even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.

Jesus was the greatest servant of all time, and the example we should look to, He called us to serve like He did. 

If there was a ever a person who shouldn't have to serve, if there was ever a people unworthy of service... Long story short, we are without excuse.

So my encouragement to you is this, don't give up on serving. Try to see the beauty and power of service on it's own, detached from the people's response. I believe you will be so glad you did, and God will bless you when you serve.

Offer God Glory, Not Groaning

Sometimes life is so filled with difficulty, it's hard to see any bright spots shining through. But, most of the time life is a messy stew of good and bad, up and down, sickness and health, joy and sorrow. 

During the times when life gives us the normal flow of good with bad, we have a choice in how we respond. We can focus on the good, or we can focus on the bad. We can dwell on the good, or we can dwell on the bad. 

Before I go any further, let me say, I am not a proponent of "pretend like everything is great." I think we have all had our fill of canned religious responses.

"How are you today?" is often met with, "I am filled with joy and wonder, and thriving in faith and mercy!" 

Let's be honest with ourselves and each other, and admit that life can be really hard sometimes; but when we understand the reality of God's presence with us, and the love He has for us, even the darkest times, aren't completely dark.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."

Seems like kind of a crazy idea when you first read it. I don't think the author Paul is telling us to say, "Thanks God for my headache." I think a more accurate perspective is that, when things aren't going well, to thank God that you aren't alone and He is with you. When you experience loss, thank God that He gives so many great gifts. 

It's more than the discipline of thanking God for what we have, even during tough times, it's reminding ourselves of where we stand. It's putting our focus on the big picture, not on the current struggle. 

When we choose to give God glory, instead of groaning, it will change both our perspective, and our attitude. 

What Matters Most

I heard someone say the other day that, "the church is the only organization where the members expect every need, every preference, and every obstacle to be fixed and met by the leadership." Essentially, this person was making the observation that the "church" or the people that go to a church have become convinced that the job of the church is to meet all their needs and desires.

This may not seem like a big deal, I mean after all haven't we all heard a friend or family member say, "I need to look for a new church, this one isn't meeting our needs." or, "I am looking for a church that really focuses on all the things that are important to us." or finally, "We are doing some church shopping to find a church that really does well in all the areas that are important to us." 

Maybe some of those statement you yourself have said, maybe they don't bother you at all, or maybe all three make your skin crawl. 

Regardless of your stance on these statements I want you to consider a few things. 

The Disciples followed Jesus for around 3 years. During that time, they saw Jesus do amazing things for all sorts of people. He healed, fed, and encouraged the poor, the rich, the wicked and the innocent. 

The Disciples really only found themselves getting into trouble when they did one thing... 

In Luke 9:46 and again in Luke 22:24 the Disciples are found arguing about which of them is the greatest. 

Jesus rebukes their thinking both times. 

The Disciples lost perspective when they began to think following Jesus was about them, and not about others.   

So let me encourage you with this thought; when you consider your faith, your walk with Jesus, how much of that is about you, and how much of that is about others?

Jesus wants to speak through you, He wants to bless others through you. Don't miss out on those opportunities by focusing on the wrong things. You will be so glad you did!

For more blogs by Daniel, please click here danielcsabo.com  

An Honest Conversation

Let's have an honest conversation.

If you have spent any time around me, you have heard me use this expression. Maybe even to an obnoxious degree.

Even still, I feel like it is such a crucial part to healthy living, and healthy relationships, I can't see myself changing that anytime soon.

There have been many times in my life, or in the life of close friends and family, where tension or a conflict has come up, and the best answer is simply an honest conversation.

Yet an honest conversation is not on their mind for a potential solution.

In the Old Testament there is a prophet named Samuel. Samuel was a good man, and a godly man. People respected him, and God trusted him. He did what he was supposed to, and people saw that.

The problem is, Samuel had a couple sons who were not like their dad. In fact, they were kind of the opposite of their dad.

So we see in 1 Samuel 8:5 God's people say to Samuel, "Behold, you are old and your sons do not walk in your ways. Now appoint for us a king to judge us like all the nations." 

Rather than talk to Samuel about the need to confront his sons, or relay the people's displeasure with how Samuel's sons were acting; they chose to make a major sweeping change of how they operate. They didn't want God to be their King any longer, they wanted a man for a king.

This story in Samuel is pretty complex with a lot of other factors to consider, but this big idea is pretty easily applicable to our daily lives.

How many times do we make a major change, or go out of our way to avoid someone rather than just talk about what is wrong?

How many friends or co-workers do you have that your stomach secretly turns as they do or say something you don't like? Why don't you say anything about it?

Life is messy, and complicated. Relationships at work or at home aren't any different. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try our best to work through and deal with the issues that come up along the way.

Sure, we should be gracious to each other when we have an off day. Yes, we should always choose to forgive when someone hurts or lets us down.

We should also commit to have honest conversations when there is tension or a difficult situation we are facing.

So here is my challenge to you. Sit down with your friend about what you are feeling, and talk to them about it. Sit down with your family member and express to them what you are seeing.

Approach the conversation with the desire to see things improve, or be restored.

It may feel uncomfortable, it may be awkward, and you may even word something in a way you didn't intend; but at least you are talking about it.

Choose to have an honest conversation, and you will see, it wasn't as bad as you thought, and it may even work out to be a benefit in disguise.

5 Things You Need, to Build Unity in Your Team

All of us are a part of some sort of team.

Whether it is your family, your co-workers, your church, or a club you belong to, everyone is a part of a team.

Unfortunately that doesn't mean everyone is a part of a healthy team, or a team that operates from a
place of unity.

Reality is, we all likely have a story about a toxic team, or an unhealthy environment we have been a part of.

One thing I am sure we could all agree on, unity is awesome and lack of unity isn't any fun. 

So here are 5 things, I believe will help any team, regardless of the type or size, grow in unity.  

1. Truth in Love

Many people choose to live on one side or the other of this issue. 

Some say they want to love people. So they only say nice things, and if they can't think of something encouraging, they choose to say nothing. They don't want to hurt people, so they stick to loving uplifting statements only.

The other group of people are the truth police. They walk around pointing out the faults and mistakes of others. They leave behind a trail of insecurity and hurt feelings, all while flying their banner of truth.

Both of these people are wrong. Real love means being honest with each other. Truth without love for people is just meanness. 

To be a part of a team that lives in unity, you need to commit to being honest with each other. This means communicating truthfully, but in a way that clearly expresses your care for the other person.   

2. Celebrate Each Others Ups

I remember a long time ago I was with a friend who was honored in a really cool way. He had done something pretty remarkable, and was received the kudos he was clearly due. The problem was, I was sick with envy and frustration that he was getting it. 

I found myself visibly upset, because someone else was getting praise. After that day, I committed to God I never wanted to find myself in that position ever again. I have since used my response to others victories as a meter for how healthy I am. If others are experiencing a great moment, and I am having to force a smile, there is some work that needs to be done in my heart. 

To have unity, you need to learn to be just as happy for your team members victory, as you are for your own. 

3. Grieve Each Others Downs

The other side of this issue is when your teammates are having a bad day, or experiencing a down moment. 

This principle works the same way, but in reverse. When your teammate is down, are you glad they are down and not you? Or do you want to help them back up? 

Use these moments as a self check. If you see them down and out, and you are having to fight off a smile, there is some serious work that needs to be done in your heart. 

You will never find a sense of unity if you aren't able to empathize with your team member in their low moments. 

4. Think Team Win, not the Individual Win

The natural follow up to these last two ideas is this simple concept. You have to view wins and losses as a team, not as individuals. If one of your team members is down, you are down too. If one of your team members is being celebrated, your team is being celebrated too.

This mentality will greatly help you in how you respond to your teams current circumstance. If you take your teams current standing personally, you will be invested in their ability to bounce back, and you will have a sense of personal accomplishment when they knock something out of the park.  

Unity is not only working together, it is realizing you rise and fall together as well. 

5. Make Room For Others

I think the underlining issue that makes some of these steps difficult to walk out, is we believe that there is only so much acclamation to be had. We believe there is only so many "atta boys" that can be given, and a very small platform for the victors. 

That simply isn't true.

There is room for all of us to succeed, there is room for many to shine. Even more than that, the team victory is so much better than individual one. 

This is my list of what it takes to make unity. What would you add to the list? Or what would you take off?

The First Step of Learning

I often meet people that want to learn something new, or grow in an area of their life, but they are stuck at the starting line.

I think most people struggle to learn something new, or grow in a particular area of their life, because they get stuck on Step 1.

Imagine for a moment you are in a conversation and you are sharing your understanding of a subject, and someone responds to your statement by saying, "No, that isn't correct, this is what is true..." They clearly communicate that you are wrong, and then use facts and details to affirm that you were indeed incorrect in your thinking or understanding.

How does that make you feel? How do you respond in moments like this?

All of us respond to these kind of moments differently. Some of us, would see this person as rude. Some would tell them to keep their thoughts to themselves. Some would be mortified at sharing information that was incorrect. Some would say their day would be ruined after a moment like this.

The reality is, this kind of moment perfectly outlines why so many get stuck in their learning process.

They hate being wrong.

I know that being wrong is uncomfortable, but I want you to consider changing your mind about wrong.

I want you to learn to embrace wrong.

The first step in learning, is being wrong. More specifically, accepting that you "don't know", "can't", "haven't learned", "don't understand", or "don't get it".

Being wrong is okay. In fact, I want to encourage you to embrace the power of your wrongness.

Accepting that you are wrong is the groundwork for beginning your journey of learning.

In Proverbs 18:15 it says, "An intelligent heart acquires knowledge, and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge." To learn, you first have to choose to listen to others, and embrace the reality that they may possess something you do not.

So here is my challenge to you this week. Be openly wrong. Be openly mistaken. Let someone know that you can't, or that you don't understand.

When you gain the courage to do so, and the moment of wrong comes... choose to smile.

Remember, in order to learn, you first have to understand and accept that you have room to learn.

So get out there and be wrong, make a mistake, confess your ignorance, and then get to learning.

The Power of Real Friendship

I confess I have never been real great at building deep friendships. I am not sure if it's just the fear of being vulnerable with other people, or something else. Yet, the friendships I have kept over a long period of time, have added such value to my life.

With that said, my definition of friendship has changed drastically over the years. Most of my friendships early on were based off who I could have the most fun with, or who would join me in my crazy adventures.  

Growing up I had a small group of people I would call my close friends. Of that group, there is really only one that I would still consider a close friend. Not because I don't like the others, or we had some terrible falling out. 

Truth is, the reason why most of the other friendships faded, was I never took the time to develop those relationships into anything deeper than just a friendship of convenience. 

Real friends, and real friendships are powerful, and life changing. Friendship is a gift from God. The Old Testament story of David and Jonathan shows an amazing story of two friends who were so committed to each other, that even when the entire world seemed to push them apart, they still cared about each other, still encouraged each other, still told each other the truth. 

It's a scary thing to commit to stand with someone, no matter what. To choose to be there even when you're tired; to speak hard truths when you'd rather be silent; to forgive even when it really hurts. 

Yet, these are the friendships that truly help us grow. The friendships that carry us through the most difficult times. These friendships are truly powerful.

So allow me to encourage you with this thought, if you haven't put the effort into building some strong, lasting friendships, consider giving it a try. If you haven't allowed yourself to let your guard down long enough to let some real friends in, consider giving it a try.

Choose to be a real friend, and allow them to be a real friend to you. It is a gift from God, and it will change your life for the better.

Choosing Faith or Planning

Two common sayings I hear in the church are; "Don't over spiritualize everything" and "Don't under spiritualize everything." 

A situation or scenario presents itself, and you have to decide, whether or not it was a God moment, or perhaps the result of a late night fast food trip.

You may have experienced this, you're sitting there in church, in your seat on a Sunday morning, minding your own business, and out of nowhere there is a call to action. Maybe it's to give your time to a ministry that needs more volunteers; maybe it's to give money to a missionary or a ministry area in the church that needs financial support; or scariest of all, maybe it's a person you see, that you feel compelled to talk to. Whatever it is, it surprised you, and the idea of whether or not you are supposed to step out in that moment isn't completely clear. 

If you're anything like me, in those moments, I often begin to rationalize my response. "Well, I have never served in that area, so I probably wouldn't be much help to them." Or, "I didn't really budget this month to give anything so, it would be irresponsible to give right now." Or most commonly, "I don't really know that person, so it would be weird if I talked to them." 

Really, these moments come down to a choice to lean into one of two things. We can lean into our faith, or we can lean into our planning. I'm not saying there is  always a right answer; and it's hard to decipher at times whether the moment is a moment for faith, or a moment of compulsion when we need to stick to our planning. 

It is my belief, that the decision you make isn't necessarily the most important thing. The most important thing is where you turn in moments like this. Do you seek God to see what He has to say about it? Or do you take action or inaction based on some other outside circumstance.

Allow me to encourage you, stay present in those moments, lean into God and His voice, and if He asks you to step out, lean into your faith and obey Him. You will be so glad you did.