Their Responsibility or Mine?

Do you ever worry that someone you love, will one day cease to love you back? Do you ever question whether your best friend, wants to stay your best friend? Does your mind race with doubt of whether the person you look up to, thinks you have what it takes?

I am sure all of us, on more than one occasion, has doubted that our loved ones will love us always. Part of the reason why we doubt, is we have experienced hurt or heart ache more than once; so it's easy to believe it will happen again.

The real question we need to ask ourselves, is what do we do when those types of thoughts come rushing in?

Often times our knee jerk reaction is to simply ask the people around us, "Do you still love me?" "Will you always be my friend?" "Do you think I have what it takes?"

Seems like an easy, nice and tidy fix.

The problem is, when we deal with feelings in this way only, we are putting the pressure to resolve our feelings on someone else. Most of the time, it is our own responsibility to work through those thoughts and feelings with God.

If I feel insecure, it is not my wife's or my friend's job to encourage that insecurity out of me. If I feel unsure of someone's respect for me, it is not their job to constantly remind me they respect me until I am no longer unsure.

Often times, the negative thoughts or feelings we are experiencing in our relationships are a reflection of something in us that needs to change.

If you find yourself constantly wondering if your friends and family value who you are, take a moment and process that with God, in light of His Word.

In Matthew 10, Jesus is talking to the disciples about how to deal with their fear of persecution. He reminds the disciples that not even a bird falls out of the sky dead, without God knowing about it. So if God is that concerned and attentive to the birds of the air, how much more is His mind toward us, the pride of His creation?

Matthew 10:31 "Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."

To put it plainly, you are incredibly valuable. When you don't feel valuable, you're wrong... you are valuable. If your friends or family treat you like you have no value... they are wrong to do so, you are valuable.

This may seem like a over simplified approach, but I encourage you to try it. When your mind gets stuck on one of those ugly thoughts, and you begin to reach out to ask someone else to put your mind at ease; pause first, take it to God, and see what He says about the issue.

I believe you will find, that not only will God help you through that one moment, He will help you avoid future moments like that one. He will remove the root of your doubt or fear, so those types of thoughts no longer return.