Blurry Vision

Self awareness is for the birds. 

I remember sitting on a couch in my friend's living room. We were having deep philosophical conversations about life and all the worlds problems. We jumped from topic to topic including religion, politics, and life in general. 

Finally we came to the topic of blind spots in our life. We talked about people who were unaware of the areas in their life they needed to grow in. 

I remember thinking to myself, I am glad I don't have any blind spots. Then out of my insecurity, I asked my friend, "do you think there are any blind spots in my life?" 

I was unhappy with his answer. In fact, I was unhappy he had an answer.

He said the statement we all hate to hear, "you really want me to answer that?" Unfortunately, there is only one appropriate answer to that question, and I am convinced that no one answers it honestly. "Yeah, of course I want to know."

What he said next shocked me, and broke open something in my mind and heart. He lovingly let me know that I have a tendency to dismiss people once I determine the relationship is not worth the work. 

I have always considered myself to be a mostly kind person. I know some of my thoughts are a little less than cordial, and I admit that from time to time I have made a decision to separate myself from someone. Yet I thought to myself, surely no one had noticed. Unfortunately, they had noticed.

As much as it hurt to hear this, it was really a great thing to know. I had a blind spot that others were picking up on. I was hurting people, and I didn't know it. 

It made me face the reality that, I am not completely self aware.

That may not sound like life-changing information. Yet how many of us walk around assuming that all of our faults are hidden? We think our unkind thoughts are not coming across in our tone, or in our actions. 

1 Corinthians 1:13a says "Now we see a blurred image in a mirror. Then we will see very clearly."

Like I said at the beginning, self awareness is for the birds. It isn't fun to accept the fact that we have blind spots, or that we show our weakness and insecurity more than we would like to. 

There is beauty found in accepting this fact. If we realize we have faults and weaknesses, we are free to submit these to God, and ask for His help to change them. 

So join me in accepting our imperfection, then let's approach God and ask for His help to change.