Think Differently

I am a little embarrassed to say this, but I can remember the day, when I came to the realization that people did not think exactly the same as I do.

I was in my early 20's and this radical thought came to mind, "Just because I see things in a particular light, does not mean everyone else sees it the same way."

I say I am embarrassed because I feel like that is a truth we all should come to grips with at a much younger age.

In the moments where I forget this truth, I end up jumping to some poorly drawn conclusions.

I end up putting my reactions, my thoughts, my biases, my weaknesses, my strengths, my experiences, into another person's mind.

It is a strange thing to do, but we all do it.

So let me give you some examples, and explain why it is so important to avoid this type of thinking.

As a Dad of six uniquely beautiful, uniquely intelligent, uniquely talented kids I am compelled to understand and communicate with each of them in a way that is effective for them as an individual.

I have a son, who is very sensitive to any hint of negativity in your voice or language. If I have had a bad day, I need to make sure I am "ready" to communicate with him, lest I accidentally hurt his precious heart.

I have a daughter who needs quality conversation about things that have meaning to her. I may feel the subject is above her head, or that the subject matter is outside of my interest areas, but that doesn't really matter much to her. She loves to be engaged in great conversation.

If I were to think for my son, and decide on my own what kind of language is sensitive enough, I would frequently hurt him. If I were to choose what is an appropriate amount of conversation, and what is the right content for our talks, I would not be meeting a very real need my daughter has.

There is another element in this we must consider as well.

Not only do we need to engage in a way that has meaning for others, we need to be careful not to decide how people should respond to a situation.

Perhaps you are like me, and have caught yourself saying, "They really overreacted in that situation." In reality, what we are truly saying is, "They should not have felt such strong emotion in that situation, because I did not, or would not have felt that way."

You are completely unique and beautiful. You are a wondrous creation made up of gifts, talents, skills and passions. Your temperament is a compilation of the many moments and experiences you have walked through up to today.

That is wonderful, and God loves you completely just as you are.

So love others and treat them as they are, completely different than you. Give them room to react differently, to think differently, and to be different than you.

I will do my best, to pay the same kindness to you.