10 Things You Should Be Doing In Your Church

I love the older saints in the church that have faithfully been a part of the body for years.

Their historical perspective and ability to see that this recent bump in the road will soon pass, is so valuable.

If you take the time to connect with, and become friends with these older saints, you will be so glad you did.

Another part of ministry I love is when a person with no church background, or concept of church culture, starts coming to the church.

There is a vantage point you can gain from these friends that you cannot get anywhere else.

If you take the time to connect with them, they can help you see where you have become culturally ignorant, gotten lazy in your preaching and presentation, developed ugly habits, or forgotten to plan for visitors. If you are willing, a new person can help you see the blind spots you may have.

With that being said, I think all types of people, old and new to the church, aren't always quite sure what their part in church life is supposed to look like.

So in order to help with this dilemma, I have crafted this highly scholastic, and research heavy list of 10 things each church member should be doing on a regular basis.

1. Smile
I am sure there is some study somewhere that proves this, but did you know that smiling is awesome? When you smile at people, it makes them feel better about themselves, and better about you. When you are about a block away from your church, I want you to look into a mirror, get that smile out, and don't put it away until you are gone. (Proverbs 17:22)

2. Come Early and Stay Late
The mathematical probability of you getting to know someone at your church increases dramatically when you show up before service starts, and stick around after it's over and say "hi" to some people. Church is meant to be a community, so be a part of your community. Instead of treating our church like a movie theater, we need to treat it like a living room. (Romans 12:10)

3. Say "Thank You"
No doubt, somewhere in your time at the church, someone will do something for you. Perhaps they are opening a door, or checking your kids into the nursery or something else along those lines; when they do, say "Thank You." They didn't have to, and I am sure you are grateful they did, so let them know. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

4. Do Something
Contrary to the view of some, church is not a spectator sport, it is an all hands on deck lifestyle. You may not have the vocal chops to sing on stage, but you can shake hands. There are so many places in the church where there is constant need. Kids need teachers, paper programs need dispersing, doors need holding, new people need directing, teenagers need investing. There is so much more to be done, than there are people to do it. So talk to your church leaders and choose to do something. (Galatians 6:9)

5. Bring Someone
A party with three people is fun, but a party with ten people is even more fun. Church with thirty people is great, but church with the addition of twenty friends is even better. You are already going, and you most likely have room in your car for at least one more. So bring someone to church with you. (Matthew 28:19, 20)

6. Get Uncomfortable
Allow me to address the consumer mentality some of us approach our church with. We want to hear professional grade music that speaks directly to us and our unique musical taste. Then we want to be inspired by a great sermon that addresses our needs for that week, without stepping over any lines that could potentially offend us or make us uncomfortable. I hate to tell you, but that church doesn't exist. So decide to get uncomfortable. Choose to love the people around you, more than you love your favorite style of sermons or songs. (1 Peter 3:17)

7. Give
Now seems like a good time to thump my Bible... In Acts 20:35b it says, "remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive."You may struggle to find extra time in your week, you may struggle to make your paycheck last you until the next one comes in, but trust me here. Find a way to give. Give your time, give your talents, and give your money. Certainly others will be blessed by your giving, but believe me when I say, you will be even more blessed than them. (Luke 6:38)

8. Think Big Picture
It is so easy to become completely focused on how things affect us in the church. What we think of the new carpet, the order of service, the length of sermons or whatever. We can feel very strongly about any number of things, and we may even have great reason for our strong feelings. Even still, we need to keep in mind that we are one of many. Your church leaders no doubt work tirelessly to prepare a service that is a blessing to everyone. I am sure they are constantly considering the balance of how to present a service that will uplift all that come, regardless of age or background. Your leaders are trying to think big picture, so help them out by thinking big picture too. (Philippians 2:3)

9. Welcome Change
Here is a hard one for all of us. We like our coffee extra hot, we like our room temperature at 68 degrees, and we like our steak cooked medium rare. The idea of changing any of these things seems ludicrous to us. We like what we like, and we don't want to change it. Yet change is coming, and if we are honest about it, we also know that change is necessary. In order to reach our community that is constantly bombarded with change, we need to adapt to meet our audience. To be clear, I am not saying we should attempt to change what the Bible says, I am suggesting we change how we choose to present it. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

10. Go To Church
Some studies show that the average church attender goes to church only once or twice a month. I know it's easy to get busy, but this is important. These are your friends, and your family, they need you. You are tasked together to share the greatest news ever told, the message of Jesus and His love for the world. So be there, and be there regularly. (Hebrews 10:25)

I hope this list has been helpful to you. Even more than that, I hope you choose to live these out. You may be great at 5 or 6 of them, but I believe each of us should strive to be great at all 10.

Love Through Adversity

Have you ever found yourself standing there in a state of shock because of a hurt you have endured in a relationship?

Maybe your spouse said or did something that has broken you. Perhaps your closest friend has deeply betrayed your trust. Maybe a mentor or leader in your life, has left you feeling rejected.

It's a terrible feeling.

Just like physical trauma, emotional and relational trauma can send us into a time of shock. We don't even know how to begin in our process of recovery. Questions of whether or not there will be restoration are interrupted by strong feelings of anger, and deep pains of sorrow.

Some people experience pain like this, and years later they are no more free than they were the day the hurt occurred.

Often times, it seems easier to stay hurt, than it is to work through it.

Many of us have stories of broken relationships that we walked away from years ago. People that we had deep meaningful relationships with, are now little more than a distant memory to us.

There may be times where it is necessary, or even beneficial for two people to part ways. Yet, I think many broken relationships do not need to stay broken.

Colossians 3:13 says "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

I know it seems like such a stretch, or an oversimplified outlook on an incredibly complicated subject; but I share this passage, because it has helped me personally through some of those same type of incredibly complicated and difficult moments.

Look again at the phrase, "bear with each other" that is the part I want to take a moment to focus on.

Sometimes the hardest part of forgiving someone, is the choice of bearing a burden that was brought on by them and their choices.

It seems so unfair that we have to carry a difficult burden, that wasn't our fault. When the offense is against us, we essentially have to pay the price twice. Once due to the original hurt against us, and a second time as we help them bear the burden.

You may think this seems completely unfair.

You are right, it is unfair. But let me ask you, is a life of fairness really your goal?

This verse in Colossians may not offer a plan for fairness, but it speaks to something so much greater. Colossians speaks about a measure of love and a type of forgiveness that will help our relationships last a life time.

So let me encourage you with this thought. If you are struggling or even stuck with a hurt or offense, consider this idea. Even though it may be difficult, your broken relationship can be restored, and it is worth restoring. Even though it may seem impossible to see now, the person that has hurt you is worth your effort to bear this burden with them.

Finally, regardless of the offense, now is a good time to offer forgiveness. Just like Jesus forgives us for the mistakes we make, regardless of how terrible, we need to forgive each other.

I am praying for you in your journey.

Change In Our New Year

As the New Year has arrived, no doubt many of us are in the process of reflection and goal setting.

The best part about personal growth, is it doesn't matter where you are in life right now, there is always room for growth.

Regardless of how you are doing now, you can become more educated, healthier, a better parent, a better spouse, or a better friend.

Unfortunately, you can also make it through this year with little to no growth as well.

In the Bible, there is a story about two people who needed growth. One was a person who clearly needed growth, and the other was someone who didn't see their own need for growth.

The story is found in Luke 7:36-39 When one of the Pharisees invited Jesus to have dinner with him, he went to the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table. A woman in that town who lived in a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would know who is touching him and what kind of woman she is - that she is a sinner." 

There is an easy contrast to see between these two. One was in need of change, obvious to all, and the other seemed from the outside to have it all together.

Yet they both were in great need of change.

In order for any of us to grow, to change, and to mature from where we are, there are three things we need to continually do.

Step 1. We Need to Reflect on Where We Are

We need to look at ourselves, and truly examine and consider where we currently are, then identify what needs to change.

Many of us, are quick to notice the actions, imperfections, and faults in others, yet we rarely consider where we need to grow in our own lives.

This should not be so. We need to reflect and consider what areas need growth.

In 2 Corinthians 13:5a Paul explains to the church in Corinth this very same principal. Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves!

We need to continually look at where we are, and where we should be, and be honest with ourselves about the gap between those two places.

The woman in this story, was fully aware of her current state. She looked at where she was, and where she should be and saw the gap between those two places. She was honest with herself about her need for change.

In stark contrast, the wealthy host in this story was so fixed on this woman and her faults, that he was oblivious to his own critical attitude and judgmental spirit. In fact, he was more inclined to pass judgment on Jesus than he was to assume there was something that needed change in his own life.

We first need to Reflect in order to Grow.

Step 2. Bring to Light What Needs to Change

We need to be courageous enough to look at and expose what needs to be different.

This is the part of the process that I think scares most people away from change.

It is the step that pushed many to be lulled into a growth sleep.

Many people avoid Step 1, because they know once they see what needs to change, they will be faced with the challenge to make the change.

I think many are afraid of this, because they believe once the area of weakness is brought to light, they will forever be labeled by it.

That couldn't be any further from the truth.

In Acts 3:19 it says, Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.

God wants our mistakes to be brought to light so they can be wiped out; not so they can define us.

This woman in the story brought herself to Jesus, and knelt at His feet, she humbled herself before Him.

She was completely willing to have her mistakes brought to light. Not so she could be defined by them, but so that Jesus could wipe them out.

It is important that after we define through reflection what needs to change, we bring that area to light.

Step 3. Grow From There

Once we have committed to make the necessary choices to change, we need to continue to lean into a life of growth.

It is important that we examine ourselves and see what needs to change.

It is important that we shine light on the exposed areas that need changing.

Yet the final and most critical step follows these two actions. We need to choose to grow and move forward from there.

I meet many people that tell me their story of moving from a person who used to make many poor choices, to a person who no longer makes those same mistakes.

That is a great start to a story, but it isn't a great end.

Our life, should be a series of stories and events that speak to what good we have done.

Our life purpose is not to avoid doing bad things. We exist to do great things.

Two people walked into that room with Jesus that day. One walked out changed, and living with a greater purpose. The other walked out exactly the same as they walked in.

It is my prayer and hope for you, that each day you walk a journey of growth and change.

If we live daily with these three steps in mind, I believe we will walk a journey of constant, necessary and beneficial change.