Thinking Differently

I don't know about you, but my mind has been one of my worst enemies at different seasons in my life.

No, not just because of my struggle with math.

Have you ever had a thought, a moment, or a subject that you absolutely hate to remember; yet your mind finds the worst times to focus on that very thing?

I can remember in Jr. High and High School having these really intense thoughts that I wish I could have erased. They were thoughts of self-hatred, shame, or a general despising of different parts of my personality. I hated when these thoughts would come flooding in, the moment they arrived I desperately wished they were gone.

In those teenage years, my tactic for avoiding these thoughts was to move at such a fast pace, to be so overly dramatic and loud, that it would drown out the thoughts I wanted to avoid.

It seemed to be a working model for a while.

Then it starting to become clear to me that the way I was acting, the persona I was portraying to the world, was completely wrapped up in my fear of these ugly thoughts.

I had become a person completely focused on avoidance. I couldn't stop or slow down, because the thoughts I had come to fear were always just two steps behind me.

I finally came to the realization that I had to face these fears, face these thoughts. I was wearing pretty thin. Truth is, I was so exhausted emotionally I just didn't care anymore.

During this time, God brought a Bible verse to my mind. You may have heard me reference it before.

2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Somewhere along the way, I started believing running from my negative thoughts was the best I could hope for.

I was wrong.

I had the answer all along. I was tired of being taken captive by each of these thoughts. So instead of letting these thoughts roam free in my mind, I needed to take each of them captive.

It may sound silly, but I pictured this whole process in my mind. Taking my thoughts captive, and locking them up. The great part was, I realized since I was the one locking them up, the only way the thoughts could come out, is if I let them out.

God never said in His Word, (the Bible) that life would be perfect. In fact it says pretty clearly that we will have valleys and mountains. We will have seasons of great things, and seasons of difficult things.

In Romans it says how we should respond to each of these seasons.

Romans 12:12 "Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer."

When affliction comes, it is easy to run. For me, it was especially easy to run. But God doesn't tell us to flee in affliction, He says be patient.

Allow me to encourage you with this. You have a lot more control over your thoughts than you give yourself credit for. If you can be patient, and take the time to try this, you will be glad you did.

If you have some fears, some memories, or some hurts, that have set up camp like an unwelcome guest in your mind; it's time to clean house.

Simply close your eyes, ask God for His help, and try this simple exercise.

Think for a moment on whatever thought that has been bothering you; now picture the ugliest, meanest, rustiest, looking cage your imagination can create. Then place that thought inside of that cage. Close the gate, and then place the galaxy's most durable padlock on that gate.

You don't need to run anymore. You don't need to distract yourself any longer.

Just choose to think a little differently, and remember you have the ability to take any thought captive.

Why is Change So Hard?

I remember being at a church meeting where everyone was discussing which instruments should be on the stage at the church. Some passionately argued that piano and organ were the only acceptable instruments in the church. Others said that we need instruments like drums and electric guitars to be more relevant.

People pleaded their cases with passion, emotion, and a variety of vantage points. This was in a church, so of course people were using lots of Bible verses to back their point as well.

I remember looking at the faces of some of the people who were later on in their years, and this wasn't just a matter of opinion, this was emotional, this was incredibly important to them.

After the discussion had gone on for a while, an older man stood up to speak. He said, "You know it's funny to me, that we are having an argument, saying that the piano and the organ are the only instruments God desires in His church. I find this odd, because it was not many years ago, that a piano was found mainly in the bars, and the organ was found mainly in the theaters. Neither of these places are establishments any self-respecting Christian would have found themselves in."

His point hit to the heart of each person there. Jesus didn't have a piano or an organ. He didn't have a drum set or an electric guitar either.

People were passionate about their stance, not because of the importance biblically. They were passionate about their stance because of the importance personally.

They had an expectation of what was supposed to be in the church, and the idea of deviating from that norm, was too much for them to bear.

Change is hard.

I think sometimes we fall into the trap of believing God's primary desire, is for us to be comfortable. That simply is not the case. In fact, we are called to walk through life depending on our faith, not depending on our comfort.

Hebrews 11:8 says, "It was by faith that Abraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would give him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going." 

God called Abraham to follow Him, even though Abraham didn't know what might happen along the way. God didn't provide Abraham with comfort for his journey, God provided Abraham with faith for his journey.

So what changes are you facing? What part of your life is changing faster than you are comfortable with? What events have occurred in your life to throw you off track?

Allow your faith to be what carries you through. Faith can move mountains and calm seas.

Our faith is powerful, not our comfort.

Get To Know Yourself

I remember a few years back, sitting down with my friend Dan in his living room talking about life. We have this thing where we talk about big complex ideas and how we can solve the world's problems.

Dan is a deep thinker, I like that about him.

Dan says, "You know, if people really cared about their friends and family they would talk to them about the blindspots they have in their life." Dan was referring to a familiar concept that many of us I am sure can relate to.

We all have friends or family that have that "thing" about them that everyone in the world knows they do, except them.

Maybe it's something silly like their nose whistles, or maybe it's a habitual problem of interrupting others. Regardless of what it is, everyone else notices, but the person doing it, has no idea they are.

Dan had a good point. Sure it's no fun to point out someone else's faults, but isn't it worse to say nothing?

I was pondering Dan's observation, and then my insecurity creeped in, so I asked Dan a question that I thought would help calm my fear.

"Do I have any blindspots?"

I fully expected Dan to say, "Of course not! You are so awesome, and as near to perfect as humanly possible!"

I was wrong.

Instead of that statement, Dan got kind of a serious look on his face and asked me, "Do you really want me to tell you?"

Of course I didn't want him to tell me, but I wasn't about to say that out loud. So I answered, "Yes of course I want to know." I think I even managed to produce a fake smile, like I was excited about it.

Dan began to point out an area of my life that was hurtful to others, and I was completely unaware.

He was right... that jerk.

Yet, as much as I didn't like hearing it that day, it gave me a chance to change something about myself that I didn't like, and others certainly didn't like as well.

Getting to know yourself is hard, and often times it isn't fun; but it is also really beneficial.

So please allow me to offer you two small pieces of advice.

First, stop and evaluate where you are and how you are living from time to time.

2 Corinthians 13:5 says "Examine yourself..." 

Anyone who fails to evaluate themselves, isn't growing like they should be.

Consider the tone in how you speak to others. Look at the quality of work that you do. How do you treat others? How do others respond when you walk into a room? How much of the conversations you are in are driven by you?

Get honest with yourself, and commit to grow.

Second, spend time around friends who love you enough to tell you the truth.

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."

Great friendships are the ones that help us grow.

So choose to be a great friend and help your friends grow too. The phrase "iron sharpens iron", implies that both people are being sharpened, both people are growing.

It's hard to hear about an area of your life that needs growth, but it is also hard to gain the nerve to talk to a friend about an area in their life that needs growth.

Commit to embracing both.

Growing isn't automatic it takes effort, and growing with the help of friends is way better.

So get to know yourself, and help your friends get know themselves too.